Afraid to drive

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I really do believe that this is an AS issue. I have a fear of driving, and it is not just because of having been in a serious accident while driving alone on an icy road one night. I rolled my vehicle. I have driven since, and just went on a 2 day trip recently by myself, which went just fine. But I still have anxiety issues about driving, mostly because I am afraid I will cause an accident or something. Our anxiety issues do not help when considering undertaking a complex task like driving.

I got in a car accident once and I was nervous to drive for a while. I eventually got over that fear.

But I never liked crossing roads to get to the other side so I always got on the road and then turn and then turn back onto the road to head the way I want to go. If there are stop lights, then I do it.

I'm 60yo and I never learned to drive. When younger, I was in a state of rage most of the time. I was a great walker, ten miles was just a nice walk. But I carried a lot of rage and I thought that I would drive like I walked, and probably kill somebody. So I didn't learn.

I totally relate to this. I do have a license, which I got at age 19, but when I got my license, I was living in a small, rural area in upstate New York. There was almost no traffic to contend with. There was snow, but without traffic, you can pretty much do whatever. If you slide off the road and crash into a snowbank, so what?

Here in the SF Bay Area it's a flipping nightmare, though. People all drive two feet away from each other, and in each other's blind spots. They are all totally oblivious to the traffic around them. On top of that, I've got really slow reflexes. So even if I am the one person on the road who is actually driving with my eyes open, and not applying my mascara and talking on the phone, I still don't have the reflexes to get out of the way when someone decides to change lanes right into my passenger side window.

I haven't driven out of my little comfort zone in about a decade. I can take my kid to school, buy groceries, and if I'm feeling particularly brave, I can make that funny left turn across a little bridge, and go to the local shopping center. Sometimes I can't even do that. I had panic attacks twice in this particular area, and sometimes when I'm starting to approach it, I feel afraid of another one. Because of the way the road is laid out, and the fact that there is a bridge, there's no place to pull over. So if you start having a panic attack at the traffic signal before the bridge, you still have to drive safely for a half mile before you can pull over. That doesn't sound far, but when your hands and feet are going numb and you've got tunnel vision because of the fear, it's a LONG way! To make matters worse, this is a draw bridge, and once in a while it goes up and you have to wait.

One time, I was driving near that area, and there was some road construction that I needed to pass. It looked like they were going to divert us across the bridge. The panic I felt was just awful. I was afraid I'd pass out. I was starting to consider stopping in the middle of the road and saying my car was broken. It was a total, blind, irrational panic.

I've gotten over it a few times, but then it sneaks back when I least expect it. I wouldn't wish that kind of fear on anyone.

That fear is totally irrational and ridiculous. On the other hand, I believe the fear of driving on Bay Area freeways is totally rational and sensible. It amazes me that some people (including my husband) do it day after day.

One more thing...and I've had a bit too much to drink, so excuse my rambling, which is probably even worse than usual....but both of my grandmothers were afraid to drive. And guess what. I'm pretty sure they were both on the spectrum, at least a little.

Anyway, fear of driving sucks. Sure, in some places you don't NEED to drive. I'd love to live in one of those places. Actually, I guess I do live in one of those places. We have public transportation, but it's expensive. And every year there are more cuts. There used to be a bus line right here which would take you to the UC Berkeley campus, for instance. Now you need to take two buses, so it's a much longer commute. With kids, it's a real hardship to use the bus.

Cars are the second worst invention directly behind guns.

I don't drive. Secretly, I am afraid that I will lose concentration or become overwrought and kill someone by accident. I have tried driving a car and found all the foot / hand / eye coordination really stressful. I also can't play the piano, but play a wind instrument that doesn't require the same coordination between the hands.

I do cycle on the road and ride a motorcycle, so it is not because I am afraid for my own safety.

i'm so nervous about driving. the road seems too small to me. i'm always afraid of crossing the center line or running off the road. i got a small car. makes me feel better when driving. now i am quite comfortable driving.

here are some tips for anxiety:
i try not to cut across many lanes of traffic when i turn. if there's a light i can use, i use it. it's much easier.
get a gps. they are helpful.
take it slow at first. the longer you drive, the more comfortable you might get
watch out for other drivers. a lot of people have no business driving. they disregard the rules of the road and some even drive aggressively. just be careful. most of my near accidents were because of other drivers so watching for others is very important.
i forget some rules when driving too. mostly the 4-way stop thing. i never remember who's first. i try to stop last so that'll make me last. doesn't always work out that way. oh well. i just kinda guess.
a wreck isn't always fatal. i got in a nasty wreck within my 2nd month of driving. totalled my car but i was fine. my neck was a little sore for a few days and my arm was a burned a little from the air bag but otherwise, i was fine. yea i was terrified of driving for a while but i got over it. i learned from that wreck (that one was my fault).

don't be discouraged though. driving can be dangerous but if you know what you're doing, it'll be ok

I don't have a car because I can't afford it, but I find driving difficult as well.

I think I may have a slightly different perception of how close other vehicles are and how fast they are going, because riding in a car makes me very nervous as well. This may be an AS thing, I'm not sure.

As for groceries, I go grocery shopping on my bike. I have a rack on the back with bungee cords and I can carry about $20 worth of groceries at a time. Even though I am not physically strong and have chronic fatigue, I find grocery shopping on the bike to be quite doable. That is how I get all my groceries. (If I didn't have a bad back, I could carry additional groceries in a backpack.)

No, it's not an AS thing.

When I was 16 I was afraid I'd crash into a wall or something, like I would give in to temptation to floor the accelerator and jut the steering wheel.
I'm 21 now and one of the best drivers on the road, I can drift pretty well too which is something most drivers couldn't even contemplate, espeically from the way I've seen them drive.

The biggest thing that scared me was making a mistake, thinking if I made one I'd die, when in reality there is a lot more room for error in driving than you think.
you need to know the car, so the front wheels feel like your finger tips and the rears your feet. I can drive through 2 points with less than 3 inch clearance at 80'ks.
And your subconscious does everything, all your conscious needs to do is focus ahead. and not even that really haha. I've been searching my glove box whilst simultaneously dodging potential roadkill from spotting it out the corner of my eye.

It is exponentially easier than you think.

I think it is an AS thing. Seeing as different people have the different AS traits to varying degrees, some may be more affected by driving, and what it requires, than others. I can totally understand your fear of driving, because I had it too- in a big way! However, I did learn how to do it. Here is the advice I would give:

As driving requires multitasking, start first on an empty, or almost empty street; maybe out in the country, or a deserted parking lot- (I assume someone has to be with you, so let them drive you somewhere where it´s not so busy, then you can take over). This is to just get used to the feel of driving a car, without too many added distractions. It took me awhile, also, to get used to the dimensions of the car, so at first try to get the feel of "where" you are in space, how much space your car takes up, etc. When you start to feel more confident, then you can slowly build to busier situations, more traffic, etc., one step at a time. Have someone help you, in the beginning- (another piece of advice: try to choose a calm person who doesn´t make you feel anxious).

When doing more advanced driving, I always make a point of knowing exactly where I´m going- (well, okay, I´ve gotten lost a few times, but this is unavoidable with me). Actually, a GPS is probably a good thing nowadays- (they didn´t have those when I learned how to drive).

The best thing to do is to practice, like with anything. It may seem scary at first, in some ways, but so are many things; it´ll get better with time.

Good luck!

I started driving when I was 15 (or was it 14?) and I'm fine at it. Can't wait to get a license and a car

Yes, driving can be dangerous, but if you're careful you'll be fine, even if it is other drivers in the wrong. Plus, practice makes perfect!

I must be weird even for weird people. I Fing love driving. I love going fast and on the edge of control but on a racetrack, i hate driving with all the dumbasses around me. I also love flying airplanes. Not the freedom some talk about but rather controlling that giant metal deathtrap with wings on it and teaching it who's the boss

I hate driving, it terrifies me. I'm afraid of getting lost, mostly (Mazeophobia). Even going for long walks brings up that fear, though. But I hate going places in general.

I think it's all the social anxiety associated with actually being somewhere that makes me not want to go, much less drive places.

I find it really hard to multi-task in terms of paying attention to my speed, the speed limit, what the cars near me are doing, where I need to go, and which pedal is the gas and which is the brake (yes, I even find that hard to keep straight). My social anxiety also causes me to dissociate whenever there's someone else in the car. Basically, it's just incredibly hard for me to drive safely, and I don't know if I'll ever end up getting my driver's license.

I'm 38 years old and have never driven a car. I'm terrified..and even after trying to work through the fear with professinals, it didn't get any easier. I live near public transportation and within walking distance to stores. That's actually how I choose where I'll live...there has to be a store less than half a mile away! I have been somewhat limited in where and when I can go certain places...but Uber has taken care of that. I also have children..they've learned to walk and not be lazy which is a good thing if you ask me!