How to join in conversations?

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This is one of those things I never managed, even though I'm over all doing well. I can hold a conversation with a single stranger for ages and have a good time, but if people are already talking to others I just can't join. I don't think I'm capable of paying attention to two or more people at once and keep track of who said what and why that's funny...etc. I can stand there pretend to listen and laugh, but that's not really "joining".

Yes, I just don't get the whole group conversation thing. Even if it's just two other people, I somehow get sidelined.

I can be having what I think is a fairly good conversation with a colleague, but then along comes another person and I get cut out of it somehow. The worst is if we're walking or sitting in a row somewhere and I get in the middle of a group of 3 - it is really embarrassing to have a conversation literally going on through you as if you aren't actually there

Had a situation recently where a group were preparing a small play thingy. I said, quite loudly, " I think if you do X it will work better" and no-one took a blind bit of notice. 5 minutes later, someone goes "It will be better if we do X" and everyone's crowding round saying what a good idea it is

Sometimes I reckon I have a built in invisibility cloak in group situations - perhaps I should try and turn it to my advantage

I have the same issue. I find it hard to know when to join in, and not interrupt others It seems every time I try to speaks is right when someone else does, so it seems I'm trying to interrupt them. I also, feel like no one is listening. Sometimes I have made a funny comment or something and a minute or two later, someone else will say the exact same thing, and it gets laughs, as if I never said it.

The same thing happens to me too OP and I tend to interrupt. But when it comes to family I do so much better. Maybe it's because they're family and they know me.

I hate group talks so I prefer one and one. I can do fine if it's with two other people too or three but that depends if they want me. I often got told in high school to be quiet or none of my business and it happened again as an adult when I was 23 when I go to this adult group I was in. I gave up trying to socialize. It reminded me of high school. If nothing isn't my business then I guess I won't talk. They can just oblige me in the conversations since I seem to do better that way because then I follow them.

I have this problem with group conversations too. Just happened to me earlier this evening, actually. I was feeling a bit down about it, but reading this thread has helped.

I also have the problem with interrupting people, but I do this one on one too; I have this problem always. Unfortunately, it only registers that I´ve interrupted someone, and therefore did the wrong thing, when it´s a moment too late.

The only time when I get to talk when people are in a group situation is when they all simultaneously stop talking and look directly at me.

Otherwise, if I try to talk, someone else will interrupt and talk louder and just keep talking regardless of me talking.

In the past I have tried interrupting too, but that has never worked. They always kept talking and no one listened to me.

And then sometimes one of them comes to me after the group discussion and points out that I didn't say anything, as if I'm not aware of it.

It's easy for two or more people to ignore you, than if they were alone. Social rules dictate you can't ignore a person if they're talking directly to you with no one else around. Once another person joins the conversation, they can ignore you by paying attention to each other only.

It depends on the subject. If i know about stuff that's talked about, i can dive right in. Otherwise i let the others do the talking.

What you described has caused me much misery, self doubt, and pain.
Nothing much to add except that many times the group takes on this pattern of someone says something, everyone chuckles, people respond, more chuckling - and then I say something that is either completely ignored, or worse, the pattern is broken, and there is no chuckle. Only uncomfortable looks. Yeah. That's worse than the silence.

When I did community theater, there was this one time where I was trying to have a conversation with some fellow musicians I planned to play with in the future. While we were trying to make plans, this guy involved with the theater group, who has pretty bad Aspergers, came up and tried butting into the conversation. Finally, the other two guys gave up and walked away, saying "Don't worry. We can talk about it later,"
Of course, my own inability to express myself quickly didn't help, and I couldn't figure out how to politely ask him to excuse himself while we were discussing something that didn't really concern him.
As for the other guys, they probably just didn't know what to say at all to a "special kid", as the aspie was referred to by everyone.
No offense to people, but are you all sure you're not being too abrupt, loud, nosy, and/or forceful in joining the conversation?

I'm not good at articulating when I have two people talking to me at the same time. I have no idea why the guys didn't say anything. Maybe they thought it would make them look bad.