Major Work Meltdown Got Me Fired

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This is very good advice. I hope you use this advice for your next job. If you feel a meltdown coming on, you need to have a plan of action that will either prevent it or make it happen in a place where it will not affect other people.

Thanks for the responses everyone. I'm feeling a little better. I actually liked my job, though. There were times that I got really frustrated, but all in all I liked it. I got along with some of the other managers(the one in this situation is a manager I rarely have to work with, and he doesn't know me well). I think that if this situation involved one of the two manager used to working with that usually deal with electronics, this wouldn't have happened. I'm actually going to go talk to managment today about the situation in case there is a slight chance of me getting my job back. My Mom already talked to the personnel manager on the phone and she said that she didn't know I had a disability, so that might make things different. I did tell the managers involved that I have AS though, and everyone I usually work with knows about it and how I can get when I get frustrated.

I highly doubt someone is going to hire you back after that whole spectacle. I can't fathom how someone in a meltdown would be able to run away and start opening razor packages. This sounds really really disturbing to most people. Yes, running away. Yes, throwing things. Yes, hiding. But running towards razors requires planning and a meltdown is complete loss of control of a situation. What, did you already have the razor location planned in your head in case that ever happened? It's just really inappropriate and not in anyway a good coping strategy at all.

The Normal world thinks we do it on purpose,
that is their typical brush-off mentality,
if they don't understand us, then its because
we do it on purpose.

The world will never change, and neither will I,
maybe I shood just start acting defiant and
saying gd right i do it on purose, and
then tell them all to phunk off.

I hate the world sometimes.

Well, I already knew where the razors were. They were basically right outside the door of the office this was going on in. They keep them there in a box wrapped in little brown papers so people can get them for box cutters. During other meltdowns that weren't quite as bad as this and shutdown type things when I felt like hurting myself I'd got them from there before. In those situations is was pretty much after the initial outburst stage I get where Ive regained some control but I'm still very frustrated.

In this situation within those few seconds after I heard that I was fired all I could think is that I can't deal with this, this can't be happening. As I was crying I actually said out loud as I went to the door "I need a razor!" because it was the first thing that came to mind to do. I even cut myself in the same area that I'd cut myself toward the end of the less severe meltdown I had a week earlier, and the same number of cuts. It's hard to explain, but when I have meltdowns and people are causing it, hurting myself seems like partially like the only way I can communicate my feelings and get out frustration. It's like, I can't communicate it so my first instinct is to hurt myself. Usually that's something more like hitting myself. usually cutting is only when I get by myself. This is the first time I've cut while people were watching... But I sort of think it might have been the same as how I usually am with hitting myself in this instance. Trying to communicate this feeling I can't Show them any other way and how my mind can't handle it. I think I felt like I had to do something drastic and the thought just went through my head that I needed to get a razor. It's hard to explain what I was thinking, because it seems like it was just acting on instinct when this stuff happens, so I'm just acting on the first things that pop into my head to do.

But, yeah.. After the fact I've come up with some theories on why I do what I do. Like the communication thing. I think a lot of what I do on meltdowns that at related to uncooperative people are a last ditch effort to communicate my discomfort on some level, because I find that with things like that, I wanted them to see it. I kind of think this might be part of the reason why some "lower functioning" people self injure a lot. Hurting yourself gets response from people, so it could become almost instinctual to do this when one can't communicate that their brain is overwhelmed. Each person is different though. Anyone else think I'm on to something here?

And, no, I didn't get my job back. I didn't have it in the records that I have AS, and they said that it was my responsibility to do that. I have asked people before is that was necessary, and they said it wasn't unless I needed accomodations. Since the people I normally work with all know about it and are cooperative, I didn't think it was necessary. Besides, I don't need a specific accomodation, just a little understanding and cooperation when people might think I'm being difficult.. And everyones different, so I thought they should just respect my differences like everyone elses. Well, that's not the case with everyone here apparently, so The fact that I have a disability can't help me.

My psych did say that she would fill out any papers or write them a letter saying that I wasn't completely in control of myself and that when I feel like I'm backed into a corner I can't help what I do. But it doesn't look like that will be necessary.

My Mom is still on my side and angry about this. She wants to stop shopping at walmart, and she plans on contacting their main headquarters in bentonville over this.

When Mom and I went to get me some more bandages, she dropped me off at walmart. I went in and talked to a coworker there who is actually nice. She said that they all heard what happened, but they didn't seem to have the whole story. I couldn't talk much because I started crying, but I got her cell phone number so that I can keep in contact with the coworkers there that I liked, and I can text her about what really happened.

Thank you for understanding! Sometimes I just think I'm going crazy... But I know that I'm not because I'm still thinking logically and very aware or reality. Then I realize that everyone else are the ones acting crazy, so I'm just having to deal with the frustration of living in a world full of crazy people who dont make sense.

I also think it's a good idea to remove yourself from the situation, even if it means going into the bathroom for a little while. Another reason why Wal-Mart sucks is that they're also in trouble with the EEOC over religious discrimination.
http://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/newsroom/release/10-1-10c.cfm

Cutting yourself with razors isn't an Asperger's trait. I've heard of people hitting themselves in the head during a meltdown, but cutting yourself is a whole other level. You're lucky you weren't involuntarily commited.

It sounds like you need to work on how to cope with stress, and maybe be on some kind of medication to help you stay in control.

In your next work situation, the "what to do" should be addressed in writing and put in your work agreement, much the same as it would be put in an IEP at school. You saw yourself headed for the meltdown, and seemed to be dealing with a different boss than usual who apparently did not understand what that meant. If there was something in your contract or in your file, you could have told him, "this is what I need to do right now and it is stated here in my work agreement." He would then have had to honor it.

I suspect a smaller work situation with a more consistent boss, one who will understand you and your quirks, will work out better for you.

actually, yes, it can be for some people. There are various types of self harm that some people with ASD do when overwhelmed, including cutting. Using tools to self harm doesn't mean it's a different sort of action. For me, my most extreme meltdowns mean I go absolutely crazy. I've never been violent toward other people, but I will harm myself and attack objects. This time I was insulting all the people involved in the situation, and when they made me sit down and not leave the room I was rambling the whole time about how people don't make sense, people are all liars, and everone there was just showing off their authority. Looking back, it probably didn't make a lot of sense to anyone except me.

I can't be the only one here who cuts during really bad meltdowns? I know I've seen boards made about it with a lot of people responding.

I think the pre-meltdown plan I and others have mentioned will be considered an accommodation. You may not need that in every job in every situation, but you could have really used it this time, and now you will know for the future. Honestly, I would disclose and get that in place until you've had enough work and life experience under your belt to be entirely sure you will never, ever need it again.

What you encountered wasn't an unusual or extreme work situation; it was unfortunate, and it was untimely, and the manger was being an a*hole, but it is the sort of thing employers assume employees can deal with. Since you cannot, you need an accommodation.

As someone who has hired and supervised people, and as a mom to an AS son, I will say with certainty that I would want to have a plan of action for that type of situation solidly in place. From the employer side, for the sake of the workplace, I would want to know a meltdown like that can be prevented, and that you will take responsibility for preventing it. If that type of potential behavior was not disclosed to me so that we could plan for it, I would consider it a material omission of important information. Unfamiliar managers happen in large places like Walmart. As a parent, concerned for the safety of my child, I would want to know that the situations he is in will never escalate to the point that this situation did, and would want to know that his employers know how to keep him safe, and have solid action plans for doing so. It will be in the best interests of everyone to put plans and instructions in place from the first day on the job, and hope they will never be needed.

I dont think it's surprising at all that the police/ambulance had to be called when you went for the razors. Technically you were ripping at/stealing property that wasnt yours and it was an item that could've caused potential harm to others around you in the state that you were in. You probably didnt realize it but going completely nuts and grabbing razors to cut yourself with in full view of shoppers could've caused an all out panic. Dont get me wrong I can totally relate to you and what you've been through. But in the future...in case the urge happens, you should probably bring your own razors from home...then as willing as you can...get yourself out of the store so you're not considered a threat or a danger to others. You have no idea how lucky you were that you didnt even have to go to jail over that. And even more lucky to have parents who actually support you and know how difficult it is to work in your condition. If this had happened to me, my parents would've never had my back on it...and I even have an AS diagnosis. It's also nice that the coworker gave you the phone numbers of your friends, if they'll willing to support you, you can use them for references in helping find future jobs.

As far as accomodations go, I dunno about most people with any form of autism, but I know for me it is incredibly difficult to determine exactly what accomodations I would need in a job because I have no clue as to what could lead me to a meltdown. Depending on the day or the workload I wont know what would be considered meltdown risky for me until it happens. That's the sucky thing about the whole having to file for disability. People expect you to know what your situtation is and how it should be handled in advance. But for me I have no idea...worse is that I dont have my parents' support on disability so I'm on my own here.

Lastly, I hope you are working with your psychologist to find a safer stimulus other than cutting. I'm a compulsive scab and freckle picker and it's not a very pleasant thing to see all of these scars on my arms from my inability to control it. I cant imagine how difficult it would be for a cutter especially when cutting the wrong vein as a cutter could be lethal. I hope you find a way to relieve yourself of that.

Thanks forthat reply. First, it wasn't in full view of customers. At that point the manager had taken me to the back and we were in the office back there. But, yeah, I can relate. I don't usually know what's goin to give me a meltdown until it starts happening. I will know beforehand that I'm getting frustrated, so that's when I tried to warn this guy. It can sneak up on me pretty easily. I might be kind of stressed, and then one thing just suddenly leads to an outburst and I hit the first thing I can find or start hitting myself. I don't really cut on any kind of regular basis. It's only been a few times, and always involved some kind of meltdown.. Never because of a general feeling of bad depression like cutting usually seems to usually be associated with... It's always a meltdown triggered by something.

But, yeah, I pick also. Not at bad as I used to though. Lately I've been picking at my scalp more than anything, and that's not very visible so it's not a big deal. I used to have scabs all over my face from it. I think the fact that I have less acne now has helped, because there's less tempting stuff to pick at.

Do you think that if you had had an agreed safe place to go, until you felt calmer, that you could have averted the meltdown? This is an important thing to figure out. The accommodation you would want in your work agreement most likely would include gong to spot A, no questions asked, until you felt you could face the situation at hand.

I am really sorry you had to go through all that, but the important now is to figure out the process for keeping it from happening again.

Reading all this, I think the accommodation to ask for is a safe place, or a way to signal that you are in distress and starting to have difficulty to cope. You may not be able to anticipate all the potential triggers, and it probably would be impossible to avoid all of them, but you should be able to recognize the signs leading up to meltdown, and remove yourself to a safe and calm place as quickly as possible. That would be the accommodation to have before hand - that you have the right to remove yourself anytime, with limited warning, and enter that pre-determined safe place. This is what we've taught our son to do, and it has worked for him in a variety of situations: he recognizes the meltdown coming on, and gets himself into whatever safe place he has pre-selected. If a person cannot get that far, to recognize the steps leading up to a meltdown and take responsibility for putting themself into a safe place, then they probably need to be on disability, for it would be difficult to see how they could interact successfully in a workplace. Unfortunately.

Btw Coldblooded...I saw in your profile that you're a girl and that got me thinking. Some people (more than some maybe) tend to think that when a girl gets really frustrated or upset with something that it would eventually blowover similar to how one deals with PMS. That could explain why none of the managers took you seriously when you warned them you would have a meltdown. If you had been a male they probably would've been a lot more worried about what you might have done next. Some people just cant (or dont care to) tell the difference between a Aspie girl with sensitive triggers and a girl who is just being a biotch. Sadly that's how some people can be.