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Sparrowrose
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22 Oct 2010, 11:18 am

SonicBB wrote:
hm. i found this forum because my kid might be on the spectrum.the more i read, the more i think i may be too.


That's a pretty common experience, actually. (Welcome to Wrong Planet)


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markitzero
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22 Oct 2010, 11:21 am

I only have a Cell phone. I don't pick up if someone calls that is not in my Cells phonebook. started that habit when i had tracfone before I got my boostmobile phone.


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Sparrowrose
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22 Oct 2010, 11:21 am

I get anxious and experience the symptoms of secreting adrenaline (heart rate increases, mild sweat breaks out over my body) when I hear the phone ring.

I never pick up my phone. I let the answering machine get it. If someone *really* wants to communicate with me, they'll send an e-mail.

Many people seem quite bewildered by my anti-phone policy, as if I'm somehow telling them I don't value them because I'm not going to pick up the phone if they call (I discourage people from even taking my phone number, but if they insist, I give it to them and explain that I never pick up the phone so they'll have to leave a message and I might not get it for a few weeks if that's how long it takes me to getting around to clearing off the answering machine.)

I will have to deal with phones when I graduate, though, as that is how people get jobs. Meh.


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Atama
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22 Oct 2010, 1:28 pm

Sparrowrose wrote:
I get anxious and experience the symptoms of secreting adrenaline (heart rate increases, mild sweat breaks out over my body) when I hear the phone ring.

I never pick up my phone. I let the answering machine get it. If someone *really* wants to communicate with me, they'll send an e-mail.

Many people seem quite bewildered by my anti-phone policy, as if I'm somehow telling them I don't value them because I'm not going to pick up the phone if they call (I discourage people from even taking my phone number, but if they insist, I give it to them and explain that I never pick up the phone so they'll have to leave a message and I might not get it for a few weeks if that's how long it takes me to getting around to clearing off the answering machine.)

I will have to deal with phones when I graduate, though, as that is how people get jobs. Meh.

I don't use phone (I don't even have a cellphone), my parents think that is childish, but I just can't.
Luckily here, the phone it is not the traditionally way to find a job. We are still at the stage of the letter.



lostD
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22 Oct 2010, 1:46 pm

Atama wrote:
Sparrowrose wrote:
I get anxious and experience the symptoms of secreting adrenaline (heart rate increases, mild sweat breaks out over my body) when I hear the phone ring.

I never pick up my phone. I let the answering machine get it. If someone *really* wants to communicate with me, they'll send an e-mail.

Many people seem quite bewildered by my anti-phone policy, as if I'm somehow telling them I don't value them because I'm not going to pick up the phone if they call (I discourage people from even taking my phone number, but if they insist, I give it to them and explain that I never pick up the phone so they'll have to leave a message and I might not get it for a few weeks if that's how long it takes me to getting around to clearing off the answering machine.)

I will have to deal with phones when I graduate, though, as that is how people get jobs. Meh.

I don't use phone (I don't even have a cellphone), my parents think that is childish, but I just can't.
Luckily here, the phone it is not the traditionally way to find a job. We are still at the stage of the letter.


It's still a "traidtional" way to be contacted by someone when you want to have a job. :-/

My parents think it's childish too though my father rarely use the phone either. :lol:



Severus
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22 Oct 2010, 3:35 pm

Today my cell phone rang about a hundred times and I was overloaded at the 5th ring. True, these were business calls, true, they had to be made as I was preparing a set of application documents that required a lot of last-time corrections, true, I knew who was calling and true again, I was in a calm environment without other stressors. And yet again there I was, with the phone set on vibration and with my earmuffs on. I was on the brink of a meltdown when the thing was finally over.



Last edited by Severus on 22 Oct 2010, 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ediself
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22 Oct 2010, 5:16 pm

SonicBB wrote:
hm. i found this forum because my kid might be on the spectrum.the more i read, the more i think i may be too.


:lol: well yeah....welcome to the club then!
phones suck. and those recorded voices asking you to say what service you want out loud? who on earth invented that kind of torture?



ediself
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22 Oct 2010, 5:19 pm

Severus wrote:
Today my cell phone rang about a hundred times and I was overloaded at the 5th ring. True, these were business calls, true, they had to be made as I was preparing a set of application documents that required a lot of last-time corrections, true, I knew who was calling and true again, I was in a calm environment without other stressors. And yet again there I was, with the phone set on vibration and, nevertheless, with my earmuffs on. I was on the brink of a meltdown when the thing was finally over.


i've been known ( by myself only though) to stuff cordless phones under couch pillows and sit on them. Before remembering i can mute them. my first reaction is still to muffle them though lol.....



Severus
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28 Oct 2010, 5:15 am

Well now, your post really made me chuckle. That's exactly what I do sometimes - when the level of stress is high enough that it interferes with my ability to find the mute button.



Lindowyn
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28 Oct 2010, 5:33 am

If its an unknown number, I don't pick up the phone.
I have also kind of panic, when I have to call someone I don't know like assurance.
If I can I avoid pick up the phone or make calls with the exception of my mum, I call her almost everyday.
She is the most important person in my life and I can talk with her about everything.



Maolcolm
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28 Oct 2010, 6:00 am

Yes, I totally identify with this. I'm completely phone phobic.

I prefer to call someone rather than be called, because even though I hate doing it, I can control the time of the call, it's not a shock. Also, when I make the call, there is no phone ringing, which always shocks me too.

Here is my theory on why it's so difficult to use the phone, at least partially: All we have is the voice. Now as bad at reading body language and facial expressions etc as Aspies are, we still need all the clues we can gather to try to make sense of communication. It's still better to have five categories of clues that you are crap at interpreting than just one that you are crap at interpreting, because at least you can try to patch them together to make some sort of impression. When you just have the voice, it's even harder to know when to speak, when they want an answer, how what we have said is being received, if we have offended them etc. So, I think the panic just escalates.

Also, obviously, the sudden noise of the phone ringing. Sorry to be crude, but nothing is as guaranteed to turn the contents of my bowels to liquid in seconds - literally - than the phone ringing and not recognizing the number calling.

Another thing I hate about using the phone these days is how many automated lines there are. Now at first this might seem like a blessing for an Aspie, but I don't think so. Sometimes it is, often it's not. They tend to fire options at you and then keep taking at a rapid speed. "If you require X, press 1. If you require Y, press 2. If you require and XY, and it's a tuesday, press 3. If it's a leap year and your X has stopped working, press 4. blah, blah, blah". Then, when you have found you option, they keep talking and talking and you can feel it slipping from your memory. If somehow, you manage to remember your option key, while this robot is rapidly blaring in your ear, by the time you have pressed it and you are on to the next stage you have forgotten what you wanted to do or say. Then, the coup de grace, you have remembered and pressed your series of option keys, you have managed to remember what you wanted to do or say in this call - then the loud endless music starts on the line, to "entertain" you while you wait to speak to an "adviser" - at this point I find it impossible to hear this music and remember what I want to say, so by the time the adviser answers, I'm a nervous wreck who can't remember why they rang in the first place. Or, I have to hold the phone away from my ear so I can't hear the music, but then I miss when then "adviser" answers.

Arggggghhhhhhh!



Chama
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28 Oct 2010, 6:08 am

I usually HATE using the telephone. I get very nervous when it's an unknown number because I feel like I'm not ready, I don't know who it is so I won't know what will be expected of me ahead of time, and unexpected calls interrupt my train of thought! It takes a lot for me to concentrate on anything.
I hate making calls, too, though. I'm always relieved when it goes to voicemail...



CockneyRebel
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28 Oct 2010, 6:22 am

Yesterday, for the first time of my life, I was able to make a phone call to a company, without panicking and worrying. I used to be worried that some young girl who didn't understand accents would pick up the phone. I've decided to treat it like nothing and it turned out to be nothing. It was the easiest call that I've made. :D


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28 Oct 2010, 6:41 am

I get nervous before i make the call, because i will have to lead the conversation and ask questions. If somebody calls me, i just pick it up and listen to the person what he or she wants. But i'm always nervous when my superior says "hey, call this company and ask them about..." or "you'll have to call them and ask why their connection is down". I eventually overcame it, i just face the phone say "f**k it, let's call em" and do it. Once the link is established and receiver gets me and what i want from him, there's no problem and anxiety just vanishes.



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28 Oct 2010, 7:00 am

I can't stand talking on the phone either, but you know what is even worse? When someone I wasn't expecting rings the doorbell. I almost faint!



bee33
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28 Oct 2010, 9:15 am

I'm old enough that I remember a time when it was considered extremely rude not to answer the phone, like ignoring someone if they say hello to you on the street. I used to always answer the phone, and I had some upsetting experiences when I had strangers yell at me because they didn't believe that they had reached the wrong number. I also had someone ask me if there was anyone else around who could answer their questions intelligently!

Now I never answer the phone. I let the answering machine get it (I don't have caller ID) and only pick up if it's one of my friends calling. Whenever I answer (which is very rare, and usually if I think it's someone in particular because they had just said they would call me right back), I get a telemarketer and I feel like a deer in headlights trying to figure out how to get rid of them.

I don't have a cell phone because what would be the point, since I never answer! :)