24 Oct 2010, 12:51 pm
Like how when you're angry, it's hard to hold in the desire to hit something, or when you're sad it's hard not to cry, or when you're happy it's hard to keep a straight face. And there are things you need to do to stay on an even keel-- you need your friends, you need food, etc.
So to keep ourselves going, humming along smoothly, we need certain sensations. Sometimes almost constantly. Sometimes we have stims that we do every waking moment. (You have stims, too, but most people share yours, so they're not considered strange.)
In that case, assuming we can pick up on the fact that we're not "supposed" to stim (why not? Just because you'll think less of us? Shall I go dye my hair just because some people prefer redheads?), it can be a choice between looking normal and being able to function.
We can easily learn intellectually what a rhetorical question is, but it's hard to tell that a specific question is rhetorical. We further don't generalize easily, so if you tell one of us "that question was rhetorical" we will know that... that single question was rhetorical. And that will not help us identify OTHER rhetorical questions. (Want to know how bad we are at generalizing? I learned to read over and edit any written work in English before showing it to anyone. Then I learned to check my work after doing a math problem. Then I learned that I should read over what I've written if I've written it in Japanese. Then I learned that when I take a Chemistry test, I should check my answers before I turn it in. THEN I went "oh, hey! There's a pattern here! In academic subjects, when I have an assignment to turn in, or in writing, whether fiction or nonfiction, time permitting, I should look over what I've done before allowing anyone else to see it." And I JUST NOW realized that that should apply to forum posts. This will be the first one I've looked over.)
If you have any other questions, or if you didn't understand my response, feel free to ask! I'm glad you're trying to understand rather than just condemning.
If you are doing stims that make sounds, it can be distracting to the other students so I think it's pretty rude to do it. There are other stims you can do that aren't loud. Heck even normal students do it too. I have seen chair rocking, foot tapping, and pencil tapping and kids also tell them to knock it off.
Also my English teacher used to just hold her hand up for me so I know the question she asked was rhetorical but she had to tell me what that hand gesture meant.
24 Oct 2010, 12:54 pm
24 Oct 2010, 12:55 pm
There seems to be two schools of thought here: 1) autistics recognize their behavior but take pride in their individualism. 2) it requires too much effort to control their behavior and fit in. I'd like to add that im not judging autistics or expecting them to change. i think that NTs and autistics can learn from each other. NTs can learn to be more honest and less fake from autistics. autistics can learn to be more considerate and benefit from social interaction from NTs. I think it's a win-win and we shouldn't take sides as to who is better. i sense a lot of hostility towards NTs from some people. im simply trying to understand you better 
24 Oct 2010, 1:21 pm
I wasn't allowed to pace in class because it bug the teachers and the kids (it made them nervous) so I ended up falling asleep in class. 
But they didn't like that either so I would use my hands to keep my head up and sleep like that and keep my face down. I wasn't allowed video games either nor music so I slept from boredom.
24 Oct 2010, 1:24 pm
24 Oct 2010, 1:42 pm
24 Oct 2010, 2:22 pm
Okay. I shouldn't have said you were being judgemental. Your original post just sounded kind of presumptuous to me and that sent me on the defensive and I became presumptuous myself. Sorry for that.
24 Oct 2010, 3:17 pm
leejosepho
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
24 Oct 2010, 4:14 pm
24 Oct 2010, 4:57 pm
24 Oct 2010, 5:06 pm
24 Oct 2010, 5:15 pm
Oh those distracting Gay Pride Parades plugging the streets with their gayity!
Maybe if society were more tolerant they wouldn't need to have so many distracting events
24 Oct 2010, 5:36 pm
Autistics can't really learn to benefit from social interaction. (We CAN learn to seek/initiate interactions that benefit us, though. That's probably what you meant.) Also, it's often not that we're not considerate, so much as that we don't realize that there's something to be considerate about. This is the distinction that we have to explain over and over again because for some reason people use the word "empathy" to mean both the thing we don't have for NTs and the thing sociopaths don't have for anyone. (In a nutshell, if an Aspie and a sociopath see you crying, the sociopath will know you're upset but not feel sad. The Aspie will not know you're upset, but would try to help if he knew.)
Yes, you'll find that there is some anti-NT sentiment. Please understand that a lot of us have suffered at the hands of NTs and have only found peace and happiness after to some extent deciding not to care about NTs. Most of us, though, do NOT hate NTs. Even most of the people who make mildly disparaging remarks about NTs don't actually think ill of NTs.
Please stay. Your question has been answered, but that was only one question. You could learn a lot from hanging around. You could teach a lot, too. Please make yourself at home.
24 Oct 2010, 5:44 pm
24 Oct 2010, 6:01 pm
24 Oct 2010, 6:13 pm
Actually, you may have very successfully put yourself in your classmate's shoes, perhaps without realizing it. The answer might not be a piece of information or an intellectual understanding, but an experience.
What I mean is, you have obviously come with the best of intentions, feeling you are being logical and reasonable and yet evidently also feel you are being rather badly received by some. There is a disconnect, you feel it, you "sense hostility" but you aren't quite sure what it is that you have said or done that may be the cause of it. You can't change it because you can't discern what it is and intelligence - which you clearly possess - isn't proving to be of much help. Perhaps you will have to conclude that, from your perspective, some others are being a little unreasonable or judgmental
Perhaps that's a taste of what it's like being an Aspie in an NT world?
Just a thought.
(PS, I've been told that my writing can sound rather cold and clinical, when that is not my intention. So if you "sense hostility" in my reply then perhaps it's just another "disconnect". I come in peace
Last edited by Maolcolm on 24 Oct 2010, 6:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.
