01 Nov 2010, 7:05 pm
I guess this is one of the ways I'm not very Aspie (my son is diagnosed AS. Me; as to how many AS genes I may or may not have, it seems everyone has a different opinion).
I loved having a wedding. It wasn't so much about being the center of attention as sharing that moment with people I cared about, and knowing that they wanted to share it with me. My father was the happiest I've ever seen him that day. I'm not THAT social, so I was totally happy with a wedding on the small side, but I was totally into everything about it. Picking the colors, finding the perfect spot, picking the dress (that was the part I was most worried about, because white and fluffy are NOT me), choosing the music, creating center pieces (I made my own), etc. Just that opportunity to plan a really special party, really, with every detail subject to my taste, and that of my husband, and not anyone else, like it is when I plan any other event. We had enough money to comfortably pay for the wedding we wanted (none of the corners I cut were things I really cared about), so that was part of it; I don't think I could have enjoyed an event that was out of step with my lifestyle and other financial needs.
Plenty of people skip the whole deal and are very happy with that choice. There are so many lovely ways to say, "I do;" I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do it, just the right or wrong way for you. I feel bad for people that have to hold a gigantic event just because their parents are important (one of my friends had 800 at her wedding! Her family's culture and her father's standing demanded it, but she only knew a fraction of the people there, and spent hours posing for pictures and saying hello to everyone). Anyway, if it doesn't appeal to you, it doesn't appeal to you. I think if fate had dictated that I would get married a dozen times in my life (which, fortunately, it does not), I would make each wedding an entirely different experience, in pretty much every way. It would be fun to try all the possibilities on for size 
LeagueGirl, interesting about the taxes. It actually depends on the specific situations of the people getting married. At the time we got married, we paid a pretty hefty marriage penalty in the way of taxes. But, we did it anyway. We wanted to be married.
