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No friends, less problems??

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Valoyossa
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04 Nov 2010, 3:20 am

Friendly people are neccessary! I have one friend at school and she tells me what's going on. I'm often absent-minded, so I want to be her friend. If I wasn't absent-minded, I wouldn't be her friend, because she's not very interesting.

No friends = no problems with their unpredictable moods, phone callings and birthdays. That's great, but I need somebody to inform me about important things.


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happymusic
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04 Nov 2010, 6:41 am

wavefreak58 wrote:
The cost of no friends is loneliness.

The cost of friends is conflict.

I guess we all have to choose.


It's not really a choice for me, I lose them easily. But at the same time I'm not lonely.



richardbenson
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04 Nov 2010, 11:56 am

it would seem to be that way. i mean, friendships are hard to maintain much like a automobile


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04 Nov 2010, 1:18 pm

I don't often let myself get close emotionally to anyone, really. Some of the advantages I find are no arguments, no-one to have to look after, no-one to worry about, and no-one who pays attention to you all the time.


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Asp-Z
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04 Nov 2010, 1:19 pm

Mo' friends mo' problems.



Moog
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04 Nov 2010, 3:42 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
The cost of no friends is loneliness.

The cost of friends is conflict.

I guess we all have to choose.


Instead of conflict necessarily, I'd say contact, which can be frictional (ooer). Some people like a little conflict. Maybe it's something we can learn to like.

I think the key is moving from contact to cutoff to contact at a frequency which we each can personally deal with.


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Asp-Z
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04 Nov 2010, 3:46 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
The cost of no friends is loneliness.

The cost of friends is conflict.

I guess we all have to choose.


Loneliness = time
Time = money
Money = power
Power = women

:wink:



ruveyn
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04 Nov 2010, 4:02 pm

jc6chan wrote:
Anyone here find that there is an advantage to having no close friends? I find that you have less problems, in a way. Confused? Here's what I mean. I observe that NTs and their friends occasionally get into complicated arguments and conflicts and this is not just in a dating relationship or between married couples but it happens between friends too. Also, it is also true that not all aspies are able to get along with people who are somewhat strangers either. However, the point I'm trying to get at here is that since aspies may not know the rules of social communication really well, we are somewhat simple and "child-like" in terms of our social skills. We may not be able to make close long-lasting friendships but all we need to know are the basics of how not to tick other people off. It feels comfortable to just "go behind the scenes" and "not be involved in it".


Not having friends cuts both ways. While it spares one from bearing the concern about the troubles of others, it also cuts you off from help you might need. No one is truly self sufficient. A day will come when you will need the support, comfort and council of others. If you don't have friend (or family) to help you in that regard, you will have to buy help from professionals. In a way it is like buying sex. It may bring relief but it isn't love.

ruveyn



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04 Nov 2010, 4:19 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
The cost of no friends is loneliness.

The cost of friends is conflict.

I guess we all have to choose.


Loneliness = time
Time = money
Money = power
Power = women

:wink:


Ergo Loneliness =... women? :P


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Asp-Z
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04 Nov 2010, 4:41 pm

Wallourdes wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
The cost of no friends is loneliness.

The cost of friends is conflict.

I guess we all have to choose.


Loneliness = time
Time = money
Money = power
Power = women

:wink:


Ergo Loneliness =... women? :P


Precisely :lol:



happymusic
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04 Nov 2010, 9:06 pm

richardbenson wrote:
it would seem to be that way. i mean, friendships are hard to maintain much like a automobile


heh - I'd rather spend my time tinkering under the hood of a car than trying to figure out the inner workings of most friendships. I can't get an exploded diagram for them without getting guts everywhere.



Cicely
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04 Nov 2010, 9:10 pm

I like having a few friends, and I wish I had a close friend. But friendship is very stressful, and for right now it's not something I really want. I'm fine with some friendly acquaintances. I'm sure this will change, but for now the advantages of having friends just don't outweigh the disadvantages.



BloodYeti
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04 Nov 2010, 9:22 pm

Wallourdes wrote:
Well close-friends need more attention then an friendly co-worker i guess, to keep up ties.


My friendly coworker actually requires more attention than anyone else I know, but she's clingy. Fortunately, I've been able to almost completely pass her off to others in the office, and I don't have to deal with her anymore.

Anyway, I find that I have less problems with just one friend (who's also my partner) than I did when I had small groups of friends. I find dealing with multiple people to be exceptionally draining, and I just honestly don't have the desire to be friends with anyone else. It's not that I dislike others (most, anyway); I'm just neutral to them. I would rather spend my time and energy with my partner or doing something alone.



gramirez
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04 Nov 2010, 9:24 pm

Friends make my life incredibly stressful. My stress level is at 99% as it is.


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just-lou
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06 Nov 2010, 5:06 am

I think there are different considerations for different people. I have one close friend, who happens to be 76 years old and too old for any stupidity. I am also extremely mistrustful, and this friend has had 24 years to gain my trust. I don't mind co-workers, associates from interest groups who have common interests to me, but I dislike "friendships" based on nothing more than social interaction. For me, there has to be a point. A purpose to associate with someone. If there isn't, then it feels like a waste of time. I'm one of those people who doesn't feel as much as normal people apparently do, so that may be a part of it as well.



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27 Jun 2011, 10:11 pm

If you can't appreciate humans or their emotions whatever do you hope to get out of it ?


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