dx- how much did they ACTUALLY know about a.s?

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Well, asperger's was suggested as an avenue to look into earier this year by a professional who heard about through someone who knows me pretty good.
It pissed me off though. I thought the empathy thing meant selfishness. I'm still not certain but the autistic spectrum does help some things make more sense.

In this way, I think AS is a little like alcoholism. No non-alcoholic can understand the way an alcoholic drinks and thinks. It takes another alcoholic. I can talk to my non-alcoholic therapist until I'm blue in the face about alcoholism; and even though she's intensely interested and well meaning and eager to be helpful, she's a failure. No doctors really "take on' alcoholic patients -- they send them to a rehab center (which is almost certain to be staffed mainly by people in recovery) and then to A.A. to be with other alcoholics.

This goes beyond, "it takes one to know one." I think it's the case that "it takes one to help one." My AS specialist is asking me how I want to proceed, therapy-wise. I really think a support group is where I'm headed. I haven't met a non-Aspie who "gets it" well enough to be truly helpful to me. And, drawing on the way A.A. works, I in turn want to be helpful to others.

On some level, you and I know each other (even though we've never met) better than we know non-Aspies with whom we're quite close.

Synaesthesia is just not understood.....I understand what you mean.

I read a book that is of interest, Sensory Perceptual Issues in Autism and Asperger Syndrome. By Olga Bogdashina, 2003. Nicely done, and she is an expert.

I had a great ophthalmologist, and I once mentioned my synaesthesia - he totally "got it" and with real suggestions (way above-and-beyond any neuro/psych professional). For example, with sensory/visual after-images (that can overlap with audio), close your eyes. This relaxes your retina and it quickly subsides. It works! He said pilots use this trick too. Or, you can visually "spot" an object at the furtherest distance from you that is still perceptible, then re-focus on your visual region-of-interest, which actually re-sets your sensory modality.

If one's senses hurt, then everything else can be hard/stressful, like a cascade effect. As Bogdashina writes, ASD individuals (yes, even us Aspies), essentially do not filter our sensory environment - a distinct feature. (Certainly can be advantageous too)! But so misunderstood.

Good luck, and I hope it works out

When I was fourteen.



I agree. AS doesn't just affect how you present yourself; it affects your entire way of thinking and how you perceive things in life. You can't just judge whether or not someone has it based on what you can physically observe; some people with AS, especially women, figure out how to appear more normal by observing others and mimicking them. To figure out whether or not someone has AS, you have to interview them. You have to figure out if they mentally and emotionally react to things in a normal way. You can't figure this out by just looking at them.

jedi- dont get misled by the whole empathy aspect of AS. i think far too much emphasis is placed on that- it varies from one AS person from another, and from day to day in the individual.

i thought i was really empathic- like most AS girls i can cry at the drop of a hat- but i often miss things alltogether- i only realised this recently. and NTs are the same too. it shouldnt be given as much prominence as it has; one can anyway have 'most' stuff on the spectrum, and miss out some things. if youve not done it, take the aspie quiz (by someone with AS)- its quite handy as it gives you a spectrum picture at the end..
empathy is seen as being more on the female presentation (though this can also apply to males, just as some females with AS can have the 'male' presentation more), so you might like to read up on that, too. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt82316.html

RainingRoses- thanks so much. that's what i've started to think too. its like a language barrier. im sorry you have alcholism- that must be crap on top of AS, btw. def other people with it are just going to get it. i can be nice- but i wont 'know'.
oddly, even if someone has a really differnt type of AS to mine, i can still understand it, and emphasise more with them than someone who's NT can with any of us (in my experiance). at root, i still think they think we should 'pull ourselves together'; there is an enormous gulf between what they percieve AS to be and how it feels, even lying down, feeling calm.

it seriosuly bugs me.

schitzophrenia is seen as 'serious' (needs medication, is overshadowed by small number of violent murders) but AS isnt because some poeple with AS work,and have very good careers- esp those of the more typical presentation (science or IT). they cant see the wood for the trees- just because SOME people can be ok with it- doesnt extrapolate to - most can....
i tihnk AS is still at the stage where they really think- 'you're not trying, other people can manage it, you should be able to a bit more'. that's why better (ie standardized, not merely speculative) subtypes would be helpful, as id then be able to say- f**k off, i have the really -unable-to-cope-type, whereas my uncle has the world-leader-in-his-feild type.

oddly, they all know it- its tehre in black and white, but still dont act like they do.

'dificuly in using the phone' comes up on AS symptom lists- and i say i have it- so whay the f**k do they give me a bunch of numbers to call??? MENTAL.
deaf people dont get this- why do i?? fuckwits.

anyway, thanks everyone to contributing- sometimes i just need to rant (i seriously go for weeks/months without a conversation, so it seems fair ill explode in some way, sometimes). teatime.

I've heard very much the same thing from specialists. One said to me recently that her life has actually gotten much easier since lots of information on AS became available on the Internet. She sees lots of people who have done tons of research and some very deep thinking about this. Her message was that, while it occasionally does still happen, people very rarely show up in her office by accident. Her working assumption is that if someone makes it through the 40 pages of forms she has people fill out prior to appointments, and then actually finds her office, she's 90% done. She may be very picky in that last 90% (AS is essentially all she does), but she appreciates the "self-selection" process that occurs before she even lays eyes on a patient. I think she understands the reality you flesh out very well in your post.

I mentioned to a psychiatric nurse practitioner on our first meeting that I had a son diagnosed with Asperger's and upon

researching it thought I was on the spectrum somewhere. She knew I had previously been diagnosed with major

depressive disorder and inattentive add. Later I mentioned my problem with inertia and mental fatigue and she said " I

hate to tell you this, but that can come from add." " I know." I said. I knew then she wasn't even going to pursue it.

Another time I mentioned my suspicion to my case manager and he said he didn't see it. I asked him why and he said

I didn't seem to have any obsessions. How would he know? Because I don't recite train time tables? I only see him to

fill out paperwork to get my meds from the pharmaceutical company. I told him I couldn't look people in the eye until I

was over 30 and that was only after meds. I told him my mother said I never cried for attention when I was a baby-only

if I was hungry or wet. I told him I had an earlier provisional diagnosis of schizoid personality disorder (I was 17 in

1974) and that I had been in therapy as early as 3rd grade because I was so withdrawn. Certainly, that's enough for

further questions, wouldn't you think? I told him I would have expected anyone to attempt a diagnosis on me to ask

me extensive questions or at least interview my mother. They also don't see that if I seem at ease with them it's

because seeing them is not a social situation. I have a topic at hand. It's not small talk. They should see me at a party.

I was rather surprised the other day when the specialist who diagnosed me looked blank and asked 'who's he?' when I mentioned the book I have by Tony Attwood.

bettybarton wrote~

Okay, thanks. I considered the idea of looking female into presentations of AS/autism because I thought it may be possible I have some of those but didn't check it out because I'm a guy and thought it wouldn't apply to me. So, I appreciate being told that. My Dr. sent me to a guy who has experience with autism/asperger's and people on the spectrum. This guy believes I'm on it and I guess it's in my records for some meds if/when I need or want them for anxiety.
I'm afraid of counselors because I had a bad experience with another one and it ended badly (although, there was some good things). So I was on my own for a long time not knowing where to go or what to do, just surviving. Eventually it got bad enough, I was going mental, I had to go to the doctor. That's why I suggested the idea of thinking about a counselor who has experience and knowledge about autism.
I'll check that link out.

OMG, don't be sorry! I wouldn't change it if I could. OK, so I can never drink again -- big deal, I drank enough for ten lifetimes. In the end, it stopped working anyway. Today, the thought that I never have to drink again is one of the most amazingly comforting thoughts there is. It almost makes me cry. (This is an example of something non-alcoholics probably won't get in a million years. Try saying to yourself, "I never have to drink again," and see if it brings tears to your eyes...)

The wonderful part about it -- and the reason I wouldn't change it -- is that we have a solution in A.A. A.A. doesn't so much teach someone not to drink. By the time a person reaches A.A., he's likely already stopped drinking -- if only for a day. But, he's the biggest mess of a raving lunatic you've ever encountered. So, A.A. teaches you how to get beyond that. Way beyond that. It's a program for living that brings amazing serenity when done correctly and completely. And it's been extremely helpful in dealing with AS, actually, so it's definitely not crap to have on top of it -- it's more like a gift.

I've answered lots of peoples' questions here with idiotic sayings from A.A. (we have books full of them), and there have been times when people have found that advice practically earth-shattering. I told someone here once, "feelings aren't facts" and "don't compare your insides with other peoples' outsides." It was like a revelation to her. I didn't have the heart to tell her that those are just dumb things people say way too often in meetings. But, it's true: things that I've learned in A.A. about how to deal with the world without alcohol have helped me deal with the world as someone with AS. I don't know where I'd be with AS without these tools. Jobless? Relationshipless? Homeless?