jojobean
Veteran
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk
14 Dec 2010, 6:59 am
amber_missy wrote:
I always used to point out why they shouldn't compliment me. I used to get very defensive and point out that their hair / whatever is nicer than mine etc. I think it used to be a way of pointing out that I didn't think I was worth noticing and re-directing them to noticing something else, but also used to worry that they were being sarcastic (I really didn't believe they were geniuine).
I then realised that this wasn't helping my self-esteem (which, as you may have guessed, was a bit of a problem) and that if I had put time and effort into something that them recognising this was a genuine attempt at them letting me know that they'd noticed and that them noticing and taking the time to tell me meant that they genuinly cared a little bit about me and my happiness.
Now, if someone compliments me, I take the time to appreciate that they wanted to make my day a little bit better and that they care. I can genuinly smile at that thought and say thank you. It doesn't have to be at the compliment, but at the fact they took the time to say something.
Part of my problem accepting compliments was that I didn't think I deserved them. I didn't think I was worthy of other people's attention. But then I came to realise that everyone deserves to feel good and that includes me and you! Therefore, take the compliment with a smile in your heart and go out with your new hair-do and make-up, look good, feel good and let the world know you appreciate them noticing
*hugs*
I then realised that this wasn't helping my self-esteem (which, as you may have guessed, was a bit of a problem) and that if I had put time and effort into something that them recognising this was a genuine attempt at them letting me know that they'd noticed and that them noticing and taking the time to tell me meant that they genuinly cared a little bit about me and my happiness.
Now, if someone compliments me, I take the time to appreciate that they wanted to make my day a little bit better and that they care. I can genuinly smile at that thought and say thank you. It doesn't have to be at the compliment, but at the fact they took the time to say something.
Part of my problem accepting compliments was that I didn't think I deserved them. I didn't think I was worthy of other people's attention. But then I came to realise that everyone deserves to feel good and that includes me and you! Therefore, take the compliment with a smile in your heart and go out with your new hair-do and make-up, look good, feel good and let the world know you appreciate them noticing
*hugs*
well said...thats what I meant to say but could not quite put it that way 
15 Dec 2010, 1:12 pm
15 Dec 2010, 3:57 pm
15 Dec 2010, 4:28 pm
15 Dec 2010, 9:07 pm
yeahim pretty bad when it comes to compliments. if it's a really nice one i go "really/ aw gee thanks, i was just thinking you were looking pretty awesome too!"
but that's really slavering it on 
at the pub one night a guy said "you have really nice legs" 
i said "thanks" and moved off to talk to the people i was with 
15 Dec 2010, 9:13 pm
16 Dec 2010, 1:25 am
16 Dec 2010, 1:39 am
I put on a sheepish grin and say "Aww, shucks!" Then the person making the compliment has a giggle over that and we move on with our lives.
16 Dec 2010, 3:48 am
