How common is avoidance amongst aspies/autistics?

Page 2 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,265

21 Dec 2010, 2:30 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
A character trait of mine, for as long as I can remember, has been avoidance of people and social situations. Sometimes I'm not even sure why I feel this need to isolate myself from people, it's just so in grown in me that it's just a natural trigger reaction of mine. Anyone else find the same in yourself?

I'm wondering if it's more than just anxiety and social phobia. Do autistic's have a tendency to run away (for lack of a better term) from social situations and people in general? Your responses will be appreciated...


Yeah, I am a big time avoider, always have been. My theory is I was always inclined to avoid social situations but was pressured into being social by good intentioned people. This caused me incredible inner disturbance and anxiety but I never understood the root of it. I thought socializing was always a good thing so I didn't make the connection. Now I am to the point I realize socializing isn't for me what it is for others. It doesn't produce the same joy, doesn't hold the same significance so I am happier without it. My life is much calmer and easier to cope with. I think I was running away, psychologically, from people even when I was convinced I needed to be with them and this is what caused the conflict in my psyche.



alone
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 297

21 Dec 2010, 2:49 pm

Extra bad with me. It is like social interaction never comes naturally. I approach each social situation like I have just been released into the world and it is all new. I don't just drop by, hang out, pull a chair up and have some dinner.....no way. There have been times that I thought I might feel comfortable enough to do it but then it wasn't. I think people can read I am trying to figure out what to do and then they start listing their 'rules of engagement' at me. I wish they could be in my mind hearing it. In my mind I am thinking, 'you are too hard to deal with'. I approach human interaction with the idea that every person is by definition equal. No one is intitled to 'set the tone' or make the rules except those that are obvious. But the strong personalities rule the world and rule social interaction. I get anxious because how am I supposed to kneel to the right power. I refuse to be the dictator and find it easier to have fun and relax spending time alone.


:oops:



ecoronin
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

21 Dec 2010, 4:20 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
ecoronin wrote:
. . . I useraly have a camera with me so I focus on that. It helps me cope with it.
Oh, I kind of do that with my writing and my notetaking (at political events it fits in very well). And I guess some people do this with their Google Androids or whatever the latest and greatest are!


Yeah I use to work for a college newspaper, and was a photo editor. I always had a great reason. It kind of got me in the habit. With out it I feel almost crippled and vulnerable



Fiz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

21 Dec 2010, 4:54 pm

Avoidance is something I do if I feel that I am at risk of sensory overload or if I just don't feel like socialising.


_________________
The only person in the world that can truly make you happy is yourself.


AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas

21 Dec 2010, 5:07 pm

And some socially skilled people just drop by for an appearance. That is, they keep it short and sweet.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas

21 Dec 2010, 5:10 pm

alone wrote:
Extra bad with me. It is like social interaction never comes naturally. I approach each social situation like I have just been released into the world and it is all new. . .

Does that sometimes turn into a positive? Say if you're more people watching and aren't being pressured to 'participate'?



IvyMike
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 291

21 Dec 2010, 5:19 pm

I've gone weeks without speaking to a single person. I don't think it's healthy though.



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

21 Dec 2010, 7:27 pm

I am very socially avoidant. It's nothing to do with social anxiety for me; it's just that socialising is a huge effort for very little reward.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


sterfry
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,048
Location: Western NY

21 Dec 2010, 8:58 pm

I also avoid socializing, and if I can't, I put it off for as long as humanly possible.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

21 Dec 2010, 9:30 pm

Absolutely. I avoid people because it causes me unnecessary stress. It also takes up energy I'd rather spend watching movies or writing.



Todesking
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,088
Location: Depew NY

21 Dec 2010, 9:31 pm

Being laid off has been the best thing that has happened to me. This has been the best year of my life. My blood pressure has not been better for a long time, I actually reduced the amount of pills I take to control it. I think it has to do with the anxiety and stress I go through being around people. 8) :D


_________________
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die -Hunter S. Thompson


happymusic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land

21 Dec 2010, 9:43 pm

yeah, I do this, too. I'm sort of a hermit.



Isolde
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 30 Nov 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 12

21 Dec 2010, 10:26 pm

I avoid people all the time!! I don't like going to places I've never been and I try to avoid meeting new people. I also avoid friends. I'd rather be at home with a book or my favorite reality tv show than hang out with people. If it's planned I'm usually okay with it, but I hate when people show up unannounced. I'm seriously considering putting up a plaque outside my door that states rules of when you're allowed to come over and what time you should leave by if I haven't asked you to stay longer. I also have avoidance issues with telling people when to leave or they're not welcome. I don't want to hurt people's feelings so I'd rather stay silent and suffer with their presence.



Isolde
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 30 Nov 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 12

21 Dec 2010, 10:27 pm

I avoid people all the time!! I don't like going to places I've never been and I try to avoid meeting new people. I also avoid friends. I'd rather be at home with a book or my favorite reality tv show than hang out with people. If it's planned I'm usually okay with it, but I hate when people show up unannounced. I'm seriously considering putting up a plaque outside my door that states rules of when you're allowed to come over and what time you should leave by if I haven't asked you to stay longer. I also have avoidance issues with telling people when to leave or they're not welcome. I don't want to hurt people's feelings so I'd rather stay silent and suffer with their presence.



Ahaseurus2000
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,546
Location: auckland

22 Dec 2010, 3:00 am

I used to sometimes avoid people.

I know I have an "Avoidant/Anxious Attachment Type" which has made me suspicious of people and quick to distrust them in the past, and Social Anxiety. Crowds and noise doesn't help.

Having Psychodynamic Therapy has helped. I want to socialise more, though can get overwhelmed and still feel anxiety.


_________________
Life is Painful. Suffering is Optional. Keep your face to the Sun and never see your Shadow.


samsa
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 282
Location: Canberra, Australia

22 Dec 2010, 4:29 am

Was rather avoidant at points in the past, but not really anymore.


_________________
"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus