Why is stimming considered a "bad" thing?

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This sounds like an excellent plan.

A friend of mine said a teacher of his actually sprayed him with a water bottle when he stimmed where she could see.

That's what bad trainers do to dogs. A teacher treating a student this way is a disgrace - maybe they'd like to use an electric collar too .

I remember hearing of some parents using ammonia capsules under the nose, or cayanne pepper oil on the tongue, and such (known as "aversives" for those who don't know), in the mid-1990's. "Lovass" was still happening then -- it wasn't that long ago. And aversives are still used in some places.

To the OP, if you haven't heard of "Lovaas," you might want to google it for some historical information in regards to how & why stims were/are regarded as negative traits. The "treatment" of autism has traditionally been under the purview of behaviorists (such as O. Ivar Lovaas). The stated goal of his treatments was to make a child "indistinguishable from his/her peers." It ranged from grabbing a child's head and shouting "no!" at close range, to applying electric shocks, in order to "extinguish" autistic behaviors.

The girl in the photo is autistic and is being shocked by electric strips embedded in the floor by Dr. Lovaas, as part of his program of behavior modification.



There's a good critical essay on behavior mod. called "The Misbehavior of Behaviorists," by Michelle Dawson. And at [url=http://adeepercountry.blogspot.com/2009/11/they-hate-you-yes-you.html"]this[/url] link there's a thoughtful essay by a young woman who worked one summer at a school for developmentally disabled kids, where behavior mod was used (to "extinguish" stims, among other things).

I don't mean to go overboard here, but this subject get my blood pressure going a bit.

LOL! I will NOT be spraying water on anyone. The kid is going to learn to STIM with pride damn it. Different is good sometimes and kids need to understand that it is okay to be differnt. Naturally, I will be there to advocate for him and to help him do it in appropriate places, etc. I am actually jazzed about this opportunity.

The Psychologist shook my hand after a 2 hour very involved discussion on Autism, giftedness, community, etc and told me that it was an honor to meet me. When we talked it was as if we saw a complete picuture about these things with each of us sharing our percpective views. I am soooo looking forward to our collective work.

Yeah, my reaction was much the same. It was extremely disgusting.

I totally did not mean you would. I was contrasting your excellent plan with a horror story I heard the other day. I am sorry that was unclear.

I really love what you are talking about here.

Whoa.. Thank you for this information. Do not worry. I cannot be this way NOR can I subscribe to being "normal" when my behavior causes no harm but helps me.

Stimming helps burn calories.

I stim in public like it's no one's business. Oh wait, it's not.

Sure. I wasn't worried that you'd do such stuff -- it's just information/history that I've noticed people increasingly seem unaware of these days. It ought not to be lost down the memory hole just yet.

Okay, here is my "letter" to prospective Mentees including the stimming part.... Keep in mind the kid is reportedly AG/AS not just ASD.


Martians Mentoring Martians (a new concept/Pilot)

My own Mother tells everyone that I am a Martian. She said I was different than all the rest of the kids and she could only conclude that I had originated from a different planet. Mars seemed the obvious choice since space travel was in its infancy in those days and thus she dubbed me a Martian. She describes me as this, “weird, loner-child who generally pushed people away and spent hour upon hour quietly observing the world when not swinging or spinning.” But even though my parents did not fully understand me, they loved me in as much as any Earthling can love a Martian.

Socially speaking, I had an advocate in my big brother while I was growing up. He and his friends were kind to me, so I always had someone to talk to. I did not do quite as well in my own classroom however and I soon realized that I was physically not as capable as my peers and perceived to be quite odd socially. It was confusing to me in many ways and school curriculum was (quite frankly put) boring most of the time. Finally, when I was about 9 years old I began to tap into my super-powers.

Yes, that’s right. I said super-powers. You see, Martians have them. Let me explain this phenomenon a bit more deeply as I see it from my own 47-years personal experience living on this planet as a Martian. This planet called “Earth” is filled with a majority of people called “Earthlings” and interspersed in that majority mix are beings that look identical to these Earthlings but are very much NOT Earthlings. Recently the Earthlings have given us a formal name, “ASD” but I still prefer Martian so I will keep to that terminology. Nobody knows the exact ratio of Earthlings to Martians but it is reported to be as high as 1 in 100 in the US general population and much higher in certain environments such as High-Tech areas.

This conversation begs a formal definition of both Earthlings and Martians and books have been written on that topic, but I will give you my very succinct definition as I see it.

Earthlings are Human-beings seeking spiritual experiences and Martians are Spiritual-begins having human experiences.

As you can, perhaps, see from the definition we are very complimentary to one another even though we are vastly different. From my point of view, we can coexist and it is my humble opinion that we MUST have one another.

It is currently my opinion that many/most Martians are raised by and taught by Earthlings. This is mostly due to the sheer outnumbering of Earthlings to Martians but is also due to the fact that “mentoring” type jobs are typically held by Earthlings. Most documentation and training material is also written by Earthlings and while all this is awesome for our growth and existence on this planet, it doesn’t really fully address the “Martian” part of our kind.

You see, Martians MUST know and understand their own kind in order to find a place on this Earth. They must be taught the rules of the Earth from a Martian perspective as well as the Earthling perspective. They must be taught to be “okay” with being Martian while integrating into Earth. Finally and perhaps most importantly is that they must be taught how to make best use of their super-powers.

In a Martian Mentorship Program, the following curriculum is offered to applicants…
Rules: The one super-power possessed by every Earthling is this enviable ability to read minds. They know via this “magic” instinct that a word such as “weird” might have a negative connotation to another Earthling or that another Earthling may not be interested in our technical conversations. They watch each other (and us) for unspoken intent. (Scary isn’t it?) The only way for Martins to even begin to delve into this Earthly super-power is to understand rules of Earthlings. So first order of business in a Martian Mentorship progam is rules management instruction.

Of course along with all these rules comes the obvious awareness that these rules often have no logical meaning. As such, it is my belief that every Martian knows instinctively that rules are quite often meant to be broken. What they do not instinctively understand, without some proper guidance, is that rules will also allow them to integrate as well as have fun with their fellow Earthlings.
Three “special” rules about rules to always keep in mind in the day-to-day adventures of being a Martian living on Earth are as follows….

• You may NEVER break a rule unless you know (in great detail) the rule:
• You must NEVER hurt another person (Earthling or otherwise)
• Have Fun and cause laughter (laugh at yourself even)

The way to be successful with these rules is to begin to categorize other rules. Then use a system to make sure that these “special” rules are never broken. Only another Martian can truly understand and teach this intricate risk-versus-benefit-rule system.

Super-Power Management: Remember I said that all Martians have them? They do. Within each of us is a unique and powerful super-power. Some of us have multiple. Most Martians are brilliant beyond their years in their area of interest (or obsession as I call it), others have a unique sense of hearing or seeing of the world. We all feel less social pressure to do things like the Earthlings which results in us being “weird” but “weird in a good way”. Let me explain… Most well-meaning Earthlings will tell us that “Normal is Boring” but what they miss is the fact that normal is more than just boring. Normal leads to apathy and once apathy is reached a person dies. By disrupting “normal” on a regular basis in a highly positive way (see the rules above) we Martians actually end up by saving the Earthlings and saving the Planet from the death of apathy through “normal”. But just like Harry Potter going off to school to understand how to unleash his super powers, a Martian will grow better under the guidance of another Martian in the art of harnessing their super-powers.

Celebration and Management of “being Martian”: Along with our super-powers comes a uniqueness that we Martians must learn to understand and also to advocate for on this planet. I cannot speak to every Martian as we are all unique inside of our special Martian-selves but I will speak to what I mean from my own personal experience.

I have never been able to feel pain. At least not like a normal person. Broken bones in particular do not hurt me and the past two breaks I got during games, I did not know I had until weeks after they occurred. Doctors and Physical Therapists have accused me in the past of having mental issues or playing games with them because this is not “normal”, but I have educated these well-meaning but ignorant Earthlings that hypo-sensitivity is a real issue and have advocated for special services that allow me to still play competitive sports. I carry ear-plugs with me everywhere and have no problems advocating to peers as well as supervisors about my special audio hyper sensory needs.

As a Martian, I have higher levels of anxiety, so I must be extra careful to understand nutrition and physical exercise. In order to accomplish this, I have earned my personal training certificate and I also play football on a professional female full contact team. None of these things would have happened if not for my poor proprioception skills, my awful motor skills and my natural tendency to forget to eat. Today I am considered an “elite” athlete amongst my peers and I am defying the aging process.

Martians tend to stim and many well-meaning Earthlings try to knock that out of us. I cannot see the value in that for most applications and do my special stims whenever and wherever I can get away with it. I attend a conference every year in KS (for example) for physical fitness and am teased by my friends because for the entire 8 hours of lecture, I pace in the back of the room. I rarely sit for any lecture or any long meeting at work even. As an experienced Martian, I have learned to advocate for my stim needs with great success.

Taking Responsibility: A very important learning for any Martian about being on Earth is that they often cause their own troubles and bullying. Martians MUST be “opened” to the concept that their perception does not match general perception. Martians can explain this in a logical and clear way that might be better received by another Martian.

Balance: Finally Martians MUST round out their obsessions. The key to happiness for both Earthlings and Martians is to have a balanced life. For example: An obsession in Math MUST be met with an equal obsession in Art or Animals, or some other thing. Our anxieties must regularly be understood, challenged and faced. Balance is a MUST and this is more important for Martians as through a balanced understanding of HOW this Earth works, they can become better advocates for their specialness. I could go on and on… Net is that all Martians have special needs that must be attended to. These needs must be identified and strategies towards balance can be suggested by another Martian and worked on with the help of well-meaning Earthling advocates.

LOL! No s**t.



Of course... I really appreciate the history lesson actually and that blog is awesome too. Thanks again.

KFishrx, I love your Martian letter.

I will ask my NT wife to read it.

I wish I'd had an advocate at some point in my life. It could have saved me much remorse.

Thank you for sharing this. I think you will have a tremendously positive impact in someone's life and I applaud you for it.

Those were the best 2 sentences I've read today.

I'd never heard the term stimming either. I'm still very new to this site (just started posting yesterday), and I have found out alot about things I do that I could never put a name to. I thank you for this post.

My biggest stim is pacing. My family has commented on it for years. Not only does pacing help relieve anxiety and help me think, it also seems to be an advantage in social situations where I don't feel comfortable sitting right beside someone. I tell them that it's not because I don't want to sit next to them, it's just that I pace alot.

I can understand where it can get irritating to the person watching it. My family is very supportive of my "differences", and they are used to my pacing, but I have been told by others that my pacing makes them nervous. Others find it annoying when I'm sitting close to them and bounce my leg alot.

One stim people seem to actually find interesting is when I swirl a pen or pencil in between my fingers. It seems like a talent to them, but it's just one of my stims.

I understand the need for stimming, but my 5 yr old son does mostly vocal stimming. I love my son more than anything in the world, but this type of stimming is SO ANNOYING. I am sorry, but some days he makes noises and sings at the top of his lungs and repeats words so loud, that his voice gets hoarse. I do the best I can to allow him to do this, but after a while, it is just too much to bear. It is also very problematic at school. It is very upsetting because he is smart, but they keep wanting to put him in special ed because his noisemaking is so disruptive.

I really am at the end of my rope. I understand the need to give someone another, more appropriate stim, but I honestly do not know what that is.

i know what you mean! mine rocks. very loudly. and clicks. click, click, click, click, click. and then the rocking, smash-bang, smash-bang, smash-bang, click, smash-bang, click, smash-bang, click, smash-bang, click, smash-bang, click, smash-bang, click.... it's enough to drive you crazy!! ! and i do understand why he's doing. it's not ignorance. it's just irritating. i try to let him do it and when it bugs me too much i take deep breaths but after so many hours i will normally end up yelling out "Will you stop that already!!" he repeats everything i say too which doesn't bug me unless he keeps going then i tell him it's okay, we all heard it the first time and turns off his volume but his lips keep going.
i think there are certain types of stimming that just cause stress for everyone else and though it may be none of our buisness, as someone said, that doesn't mean it's not irritating them just that you don't care if you irritate people. i think it is a primal instinct to want to make the noise stop, seriously. when someone is doing something disruptive repetitatively it's a signal that they are either wound up and may become aggressive or that they are unstable. that is why nt's don't like it. it's instinctual, not ignorance. it's the same feeling as if your neighbours dog keeps barking over and over and over again all night while you are trying to sleep.
that being said, i am a leg bouncer myself. i'm also a foot wiggler when i find leg bouncing will bug people or make me look weird. when no one is around i tap my fingers and it's always to the same tune. i also go over music my dad played when i was a kid in my head over and over if i get bored. i used to have others when i was a kid. i don't know why i do it but i do.