Do Sensory issues get worse with age in AS

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On the issue of feeling 'weird' or others thinking I was, it was both and from an early age. I felt totally different at age 5 and was sent for psychological testing because I was distupting the classroom so much, sensory overload I suspect amongst other things. Family members would comment to my mom how weird I was and wanted to know when I was going to start being normal (in their eyes). But as this all took place in the early 60's nobody would have known what my issues actually were. I could not fit into social groups no matter how much I tried.

My son is 13 with AS and daughter 11 and somewhere on the spectrum too. Early on I did not understand his issues although I knew he was different, special interests from an early age and difficulty with social connections etc. It is only recently that I now realize what our issues relate to and now I am better able to help navigate life. My son is suffering from not having friendships, he has had a few on and off but they never last. I am starting to work as a tutor for kids with learning disabilities and will also be starting a social group as part of that.

Key I think is to accept your son for who he is (whatever that is), his sensitivities may grow and work with them if they do, I had to with both my kids. Try to keep him socially involved, forming playdates for him with one on one works best and gauge were he is at with his social skills and interaction with his peers. Try to build upon his social skills as he gets older don't just assume it will happen, and talk through any problems he encounters with the interactions with peers, steering him gently with what he could have done, or what the other child should have done etc. You may have to keep working on the same issue i.e. sharing, fair play as I did over and over and over, if infact he is AS. Look up some social skills material, Carol Gray and Michelle Garcia Winner come to mind and take lessons from there, I have use a lot of this type of material with both my kids too.

Friends for your son may end up being of different ages so be comfortable with that but know who they are. My 13 year old recently developed a friendship with a 30 year old online and I had to reassure myseld that it was an okay relationship, which it has been, because of their interests. I am also more apt to talk to or have friendships with people older as I find them more interesting or perhaps I can share my interests with them and have more accetance from them... If your son runs into real issues with finding friends/keeping friends as I did and my son did I would suggest looking for a social group for him with kids on the ASD as at least he would find others to relate to not feel perhaps so odd, weird etc. as he may do as he get older. The social group can also work on social skills and help with issues at school.

I hope this helps. Message me if you want further suggestions, help. I don't have all the answers but have struggles to understand myself and help my own children.

Myson is 5, and he was diagnosed at 2.5 with PDD-NOS/possible Aspergers. He has never been bothered by crowds and doesn't seem to be affected too much by loud noises. He actually enjoys hearing fireworks and sirens. He is not very routine oriented at all. He as always made good eye contact with everyone. The only sensory issue that he seems to have is aversion to some smells.

BUT, my son has NEVER played with other children. I am not exaggerating. He will not play with another child unless it is prompted or facilitated by me or a teacher.

I think your son probably is on the spectrum from some of the things you described (toe walking, strong memory and noticing details others don't) Every case of autism/Aspergers is different, so you can't put it in a box. Just be thankful that your child does understand how to interact with his peers because this is a tough one.

I am glad that you found WP, and if you want to talk to more parents of children with ASD, there is a parents forum as well.

1. My senses went through an upheaval in my teens. As a child I had no or almost no ability to perceive vestibular input, so I would constantly try to feel something by spinning all the time. Now I think that sense is normal. It was way weird getting used to actually feeling movement when I walked or when I was in the car. Some other stuff, too. Now I'm used to this new normal, pretty much.
2. No. Not at all. Not in any way. *shudder* However, part of this is sensory (it's very loud) and part is that I've learned to be scared of people (nothing I do can keep them from perceiving me as untrustworthy, insecure or unkind). Give him time. He'll learn. As a kid he's never run into the awful ways he'll be treated in about three years and for the rest of his life after that.
3. Okay, so one thing is, I can't really perceive the same stuff about my posture and tone of voice as NTs. I perceive plenty of stuff, but not the same stuff. But nobody ever even bothered to wonder (wouldn't have helped if they had) whether or not I was even capable of perceiving what I was always getting yelled at for. Imagine if a kid were blind, and you gave them a bunch of shirts that were the same fabric and cut and stuff, but different colors, and told them never ever to wear a red shirt, and punished them whenever they wore a red shirt, and told them to change into a shirt that wasn't red.

And another thing is that a place where you can go and lock the door and no one else is allowed to enter without permission, not even your parents, is absolutely essential. Not even exaggerating here, totally essential. And ostensibly giving them permission but threatening them so they have to always say yes is not sufficient. And nor is putting limits on the amount of time spent in there. Hang around here and you'll pick up why, but I'm not sure how to explain this quickly and comprehensibly to an NT who probably thinks this sounds dangerous or something.

Executive dysfunction is pretty common. It looks exactly like laziness but isn't. The reverse is also somewhat true; we can be lazy and there's no way to tell. If you're going to try to treat it as a behavior thing, be on the safe side and opt for a reward-only strategy taken together with working with your child about how to make it easier. You can't punish laziness because you can't know that it is, but I doubt it would do much harm to reward success. But make it about the success. There's a whole bunch of interesting theory behind this part, where intrinsic motivation (doing it because it's fun) goes down as extrinsic motivation (doing it because you'll get candy or money or whatever) goes up. Never treat stuff as just something you do to get to the reward.

Never force social interaction. Don't even push for it. On the other hand, don't force your child to not have any. So, don't keep your child alone all day in a house with breakables and not much else. But also don't drag him to social functions and force him to stay even when he begs to be allowed back home.

Meltdowns are not a behavior problem. Total control is impossible. Some control may be gained. It's possible to predict them. They might (MIGHT) get less frequent or less severe with maturity or learning coping skills. Mine started out par for the course and are now more mild than most people on the spectrum experience. But that's not universal.

Stimming might be stoppable, but usually it serves a function. If you don't stim, you'll probably end up doing even worse than if you do.