jagatai wrote:
I know a woman from the deep south who explained to me that when she says "Bless her heart" she means essentially that the person is mentally incompetent.
If your friend comes from the South, especially if she comes from a rural area or from a southern family, she grew up where "bless his/her/your/their heart(s)" is a magical phrase. Say it after an insult or a piece of negative gossip and one has turned a mean or malicious statement into something socially acceptable. Down here, it is a polite way to say awful things, a way to be hurtful without allowing the listener or insulted party to argue, question, or return in kind.
Examples:
"She's a moron!" -rude
"Well, she's just not the brightest bulb in the box. Bless her heart!" -socially acceptable but just as insulting
He shows up for every job he gets drunk! He can't go a week without getting fired! -rude
Bobby just can't seem to get his act together. If he'd just lay off the bottle, he might keep a job a while. Now that Sadie's been laid off I don't know how their children will eat. She made a mistake marrying him. Bless their hearts!" -socially acceptable and even more insulting
Even the phrase "bless his/her/their/your heart(s)" on its own often has a negative connotation. Clarifying the regional differences is the best thing you can do. Be careful with that expression in the future. Those are loaded words in some parts of the country.
05 Jan 2011, 12:32 am
