are these consistent with aspergers symptoms?

Post Reply New Topic

wow - yes - i can see everything that everyone is saying. Maybe it isnt healthy for me to rationalize. But i do think for me its part of the process im going through to move on. and with any form of grieving, which is a natural reaction to losing someone in our life, We go through periods of trying to make some sense of it....

Hi there - im new to this forum and very much on a search for some answers. I recently split up with my ex and theres things that i just cant seem to get out of my head. i always wanted to understand him, but i guess i got caught up in why he never seemed interested in me, my interests at all and some of the things he said to me always made me wonder so im asking for all your expert advice.

Here are some of his traits:

- suffers low self esteem - always just wanted to make something of himself and be acknowledged and recognised
- suffered from a stammer when growing up
- admits hes forgetful
- bullied at school for his stammer
- told me once when people are angry at him he gets one word that goes round and round in his brain (usually a swear word and he just wants shout it.
- poor handwriting
- excessive sweating at night - often bedsheets wet
- watches lots of sports but does'nt play any - he told me he always used to dread his dad making him play football)<<<NOT PLAYING IS A SYMPTOM!
talks to himself at the dinner table (this has now been noticed by the entire family, his mum once pulled me aside and asked me if i thought it was due to him smoking weed)
Grunts, snorts - bodily tics/twitches
Never talks to his sons about anything but football <<<COULD be an AS symptom, if Football is an interest of his and either the only one, or the only one they can discuss.
- flat footed - all of them are - very noisy

- He finds it difficult to see anyone else's point of view - this one i'll never forget
- has verbal outbursts when he feels attacked. however the first one i ever experienced was from me simply scarping my tooth on my folk whilst eating - he went absolutely crazy.
- fear of meeting new people in big crowds
- lack of understanding of other peoples feelings
- mild obsession with bus and tube maps
- hate of wanting to talk or communicate about things that might matter to the other person
- inability to focus in meetings and you finds himself drifting off playing with things on a table
- anxiety
- counting corners of rooms
- has a superficial relationship with most of his friends that involves mostly drinking, occasional recreational drugs and pubs
- severe procrastination in personal life and work matters
- comes out with very offensive comments to people sometimes and then has complete confusion as to why he said it,
- at the beginning of our relationship if i made a sacastic joke he would get really offended. I would tell him i was only being sarcastic, but he still didnt get it
- would take advice as criticism and have a verbal outburst at me
- often if i would approach him with something i wasnt happy about - he would have an outburst then tell me to shut up and let him go away and deal with it. Sometimes id let him (hard as he could spend two days not talking to me) but he would always come back with his head hung down and say the reason he gets so angry sometimes is because he knows sometimes im right about certain things...
- hypersensitive to touch anywhere on his body especially legs and feet. im trained in massage - tried to give him one once and it was impossible. if i ever tried to tickle him in bed - hed get really angry.
- awkward physical movements
- he never liked going on holidays when he was little - his mum told me about this. She said he hated going on holidays. He would always get an ear infection that they'd need to see a doctor for abroad. and as soon as the car would turn the corner and he was back on his street he would get overly excited and happy
- was not interested in booking holidays with me - i would have to do it all - he would go and love it when he got there, but admits that he just doesnt care where we go etc...
- tapping his fingers (forefinger and thumb)usually whilst watching tv - he said this was something he learnt when learning to control his stammer.
- he sees behaviours as right or wrong
- he split up with me. When he did - one of the things he said to me was he couldnt bare that i was constantly hurt by some some of his behaviours
- can never sit still - other people would comment on this all the time - as well as the fact that people always would say to me - we dont know how you do it. He never listens.
His brother shouts - instead of talks at a reasonable volume
Has very uncoordinated body movements
His dad rarely makes eye contact and if he does its very flitting - speaks about very superficial things - usually just makes jokes that no one gets.
when walking and around the house - clumsy etc

- shifty behaviour which always led me to believe he was lying. His friends have since told me he was always kind of renowned for his lying.<<<HOWEVER, many NTs LIE since some things may seem like lies, etc... Like He says he can't move this for me, but he is healthy and strong, but they don't think about the noise, stench, or lights that may affect him. He may TELL them about the noise, etc... and they may not even hear it. Hey, there is often no place FOR ME to sit at the airport. That "for me" makes all the difference. I mean I COULD sit a gate over, and MISS THE FLIGHT, or set next to someone and feel SO uncomfortable that running around the block would be preferable, but I won't do that. I have even starved because some organization, that had me hostage for one reason or another, didn't get me anything I could eat.
- has a history of cheating on all his girlfriends <<<HOWEVER, this doesn't make sense because of how he broke up with you.

<<<NOT PLAYING IS A SYMPTOM!

<<<COULD be an AS symptom, if Football is an interest of his and either the only one, or the only one they can discuss.

- has a history of cheating on all his girlfriends