Why do aspies 'lose it' sometimes?

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I don't know if this is the best explaination but this is what I go through.

It always starts with someone challenging what I am saying or doing. Usually like my girlfriend or boss being mad about something and me not really understanding what is going on.

What happens is if I can have a convesation with the person and get through it with out the other persons emotions getting out of control I am fine. But when people start yelling at me or getting angry I start getting confused. The more confused I get about what is going on, the less I am able to control my emotions until eventually I am yelling and calling names and punching holes in things. It is really hard to deal with and when it happens I don't even remember what is going on and don't understand why I say all those mean things that I do. I have never physically hurt anyone else all though I have had trouble with controlling hurting myself. Never hurt myself more then light cutting like not even bleeding most the time.

I don't know if this is the best explaination but this is what I go through.

It always starts with someone challenging what I am saying or doing. Usually like my girlfriend or boss being mad about something and me not really understanding what is going on.

What happens is if I can have a convesation with the person and get through it with out the other persons emotions getting out of control I am fine. But when people start yelling at me or getting angry I start getting confused. The more confused I get about what is going on, the less I am able to control my emotions until eventually I am yelling and calling names and punching holes in things. It is really hard to deal with and when it happens I don't even remember what is going on and don't understand why I say all those mean things that I do. I have never physically hurt anyone else all though I have had trouble with controlling hurting myself. Never hurt myself more then light cutting like not even bleeding most the time.

you have no coping skills. dont worry though, almost the whole population doesnt

Emotional Overload does it for me.

I can be passive-aggressive with family and bottle up my emotions easily, it creates a tension between the "obedient child" in me that wants to please parents and family and avoid conflict, and the "Natural Child" in me that feels restrained by perceived "obligation" to family, and wants to have enjoyment and fun with friends and work/activity. Processing my feelings and honestly articulating them relieves this.

Otherwise it's when someone else's behaviour provokes an intense anger response in me and I am unable to find the space and capacity to process and articulate the emotion appropriately, usually because the provoking person won't let me. Then I overload and meltdown.