raisedbyignorance wrote:
arondight wrote:
Try to develop a smile, doesn't have to be an ear to ear thing just something that shows benevolence. I don't smile and bare my teeth at all, just a slight smirk and a lightening of the eyes. Its unsettling to people I assume, to speak to a person whos demeanor barely gives off any hints about them and as I've learnt some people genuinely don't percieve you as being happy unless you're sporting a smile.
Yeah but I can only focus on smiling when it's the only thing I need to focus on. Smiling and communicating PLUS eye contact is impossible, mind torturing multitasking that only a pro can do!
I was the exact same as you described. I had to literally tell myself (mentally) to smile. What I do is not to smile throughout a conversation but to smile when I greet a person and this is usually enough. So see if that works for you. As for eye contact, its still uncomfortable for me, I saw the suggestion here to look instead at the forehead or at the nose tip. I just take occasional glances at these areas and people don't seem to mind too much. Try experimenting with these and see what makes you more comfortable, don't try to change everything all at once or it will feel totally wrong. Smaller steps. Also its exhausting for me so from time to time just take a moment to yourself. It helps immensely if you're free to just be yourself at home though.
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