Advice reqd from Aspies/parents: son chasing pipe dreams?

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It sounds a bit that he has fears about conflict. In some ways, it sounds a bit similar to my experiences, though I forced myself to take part in group assignments. I got along pretty fine, too, and at times took up a big part of the work since everyone else seems to be lazy. That may be a problem if the workload is too much. The thing about group assignments is that some people will end up being quite lazy. If the work becomes a burden, it can be very troubling. Sometimes, we may try to get it all done and allow others to push it all on us. It's just very hard for us to say no. I know that it was for me. And I think this fear comes from the fact that we are a bit worried about what they may think of me if we do say no, or a fear of possible failure for the course if the work isn't done on time.

I, too, hardly ever asked teachers for help, but if it became too troublesome, I would. With me, I kept finding out that it didn't truly matter much. I knew what my capabilities were, and strangely enough, and nobody ever understood this for some reason, I knew if I could grasp something or not almost right from the start. People say that you just have to study more, but it didn't matter with me. I could study for one hour or for two days on the same subject, and I'd intake the same knowledge. I either knew it or didn't. If I was able to learn the subject, I'd read up and intake information. I didn't forget that easily, but it was conceptual work that had thrown me for a loop. And studying for stuff like that was weird, because I needed to have a similar problem on the test.

Take word problems in math, for example. They were always the hardest. I hardly ever went to teachers for help on those, since I knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. With word problems, if those on the test were different from those the professor had helped me on, I would be lost. I found that to be the case in more than one circumstance, but I knew enough fundamental aspects that I could earn extra credit. I use to learn specific phrases in many cases, and I would apply them to computations and what not.

- Ray M -

From my own experience, I think it is best to pursue a career in the area that you are naturally talented in and save the obsessions/interests for hobbies.

A career is where you're supposed to be successful and make $$$. If he goes into the area where he is talented, he can't go wrong. He will be successful and be able to pursue any interest that he wants, while still making a life for himself.


Also, if music is his obsession now, it might not be a few years from now. I have had tons of obsessions throughout the years, and if I had pursued them as careers, I would've had to change careers a billion times. I was also obssessed with music in my teens. I still love it, but I can't remember the last time I even bought any music (besides the Raffi CDs for my son