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Verdandi
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19 Feb 2011, 11:59 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I hate being 'weird' it just sucks its like inside of me there is a normal person just dying to get out but on the 'outside' i am guessing i behave anything BUT normal :(


I do not have a normal person inside, but I spent all my life trying to appear to be a normal person. I stacked on so much "normal person" baggage I think it was (and still is) bad for my mental health.



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20 Feb 2011, 6:37 am

Yes.

Also, you are not going to wake up suddenly normal one day, so the only thing to do is to learn how to operate your abnormal brain. Trying to force yourself to be normal will only hurt you.


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wavefreak58
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20 Feb 2011, 8:23 am

Jamesy wrote:
Yeah wavefreak fair enough but still the dillema i am having is 'feeling normal' inside and wanting to do normal things.


You're stuck on a word.

WTF is normal?

First, you feel like yourself on the inside. You don't feel broken or wrong or bad, or good. It's just you. You feel like you.

Second, the "normal" stuff you want to do is mostly just arbitrary stuff foisted upon you by the culture in which you live. s**t, man, if you want to dress up in pink bunny suits and hang out with furries, you can do that in this day and age. Find friends that are the same kind of "weird" as you. Normal is so freaking relative. If you are a black sheep, find a black flock.


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Jamesy
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20 Feb 2011, 9:51 am

You have to see things from my perspective though wavefreak. really i am only just starting to have get used and adjust too living a not 'normal' life. I am still finding it very hard to cope with and get my head around this fact :(

please do not take this the wrong either but can i also say that i don't 'like' weird people that much and at the same time i don't particuarley like normal NTs who are really hard for me to read.



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20 Feb 2011, 1:14 pm

Jamesy wrote:
You have to see things from my perspective though wavefreak. really i am only just starting to have get used and adjust too living a not 'normal' life. I am still finding it very hard to cope with and get my head around this fact :(

please do not take this the wrong either but can i also say that i don't 'like' weird people that much and at the same time i don't particuarley like normal NTs who are really hard for me to read.


You have to stop thinking your perspective is particularly unique. There are 60 million autistics in this world that can all understand your dilemmas to some extent or another. It's NOT easy to wrap your head around these things.

Do you not like "weird" people because you don't like yourself and they remind you of yourself? Why are you so fixated on having friends that are not "weird" but treat you like s**t?


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Jamesy
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20 Feb 2011, 1:22 pm

well i don't know if i behave weirdly or not?

I know i was a weird kid growing up........maybe i just don't like weird people becuase i am paranoid myself that i behave 'weirdly'

Will admit though i have seen myself on video a few times in the past and i notice that i smile too much and do a lot of body rocking/weird head movements. :(

to be honest as well one or 2 of my friends are little weird themselves :D



fromtheold
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28 Apr 2011, 3:52 am

Yes. for me.



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28 Apr 2011, 6:23 am

Jamesy wrote:
well i don't know if i behave weirdly or not?

I know i was a weird kid growing up........maybe i just don't like weird people becuase i am paranoid myself that i behave 'weirdly'

Will admit though i have seen myself on video a few times in the past and i notice that i smile too much and do a lot of body rocking/weird head movements.

to be honest as well one or 2 of my friends are little weird themselves


We're all weird in one way or another. What is normal? And are you sure you really want to be "normal"? One of the things I love about this website and AS is how diverse everyone is. If people criticise you because you are being yourself (or weird, in your words), then it's not worth listening to them because they don't understand that that is how you are. Though that doesn't necessary mean that you don't need to change anything, but I can't elaborate at the moment for lack of time.

About the original topic though, as others have said, yes, it gets worse for most, but to varying degrees.


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aFiendishThingy
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28 Apr 2011, 6:49 am

People who are closer to what is perceived as "normal" probably just wish they were more unique.
Try not to be hard on yourself for being weird, Jamesy. If you weren't you, you wouldn't be you. This might not sound very nice, but in my opinion, the less weird someone is, the more boring they are! :D



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28 Apr 2011, 7:28 am

I only just learnt and got diagnosied HFA thru my last of many anxiety fuelled break downs. And i got a pay raise my boss said "you have made one hell of an effort". He has no idea the hell or effort it takes me to try and communicate whats in my head to others.

My own opinion Wavefreak58 words are as close to preaching a Gospel message of the good word i have ever heard.



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28 Apr 2011, 11:53 am

I took tests and strongly suspected I had aspergers when I was around 15, but I ignored it until stress magnified the subtle autistic traits I've always had. In my case stress is what made me realize I can't ignore it after college.



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28 Apr 2011, 11:58 am

Yes, stress makes my symptoms come out more. And at times I really wish it wouldn't. Like in class. If all the people, loud noise and bright lights are starting to magnifying I start rocking in my chair.
Not exactly the best and most private time to do that.



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28 Apr 2011, 12:54 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Yeah wavefreak fair enough but still the dillema i am having is 'feeling normal' inside and wanting to do normal things.


You're stuck on a word.

WTF is normal?



I was thinking the same thing. I guess they mean they want to be Neurotypical. If you ask me the majority of society is like The Borg but less logical and more obsessed with small talk, gossip and fashion. Resistance is futile...you will be assimilated into the collective otherwise you will be labelled as Mentally Ill or Abnormal.



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28 Apr 2011, 2:51 pm

Answer to the original question:

Yes, my Aspie-issues get worse with stress. My non-ASD-related issues and my allergies also get worse with stress.

My definition of stress as a noun/process (I'm not good with grammar-words)=anything that eats up mental/physical energy faster than it can be replaced.

My definition of stress as an experience=overloaded, sitting somewhere between "struggling to function" and "not functioning."

...About being normal:

wavefreak58 wrote:
You're stuck on a word.

WTF is normal?

Jamesy wrote:
You have to see things from my perspective though wavefreak. really i am only just starting to have get used and adjust too living a not 'normal' life. I am still finding it very hard to cope with and get my head around this fact



I feel for you, Jamesy, because it sounds like you feel like you don't fit in with anybody and don't measure up to what you think you need to be (am I wrong here?). I've gone through something sort of similar, and it sucks. It can take time to adjust your perspective of yourself and where you fit--for me it was a sort of disillusionment.

If you think about "normal" in the mathematical sense that describes patterns and averages, then it's fair to say there's more to life where you fit in a pattern or your statistical placement based on specific traits/abilities/ways of being....the calculations that determine what's "norm-al" aren't a reliable indicator of value beyond quantities.

What's "good" or "bad" is largely subjective, and "weird" is subjective, too.....for example, I'm told "normal" people are often energized by socializing, whereas I'm exhausted by it. I think their experience of socializing is weird, and I'm sure they'd think my social exhaustion was weird. Who's actually weird, me or them? Depends on your perspective. wavefreak58 is right when he says that the social concept of "normal" is totally relative.

You already are a kind of normal--your kind of normal. You could look at all the mainstream-normal people and say, "they're all weird," and you'd be correct based on your perspective. Your kind of normal may not be the most common, but does that really matter and is it really a bad thing?

People are taught to believe that to be statistically "normal" is the best way to be, but if you think about it for minute, there are a lot of reasons to think this is BS. For example: Creativity and invention require deviation from the norm; Positive social changes like giving women the vote and ending slavery required deviation from the norm; Ultimately, society's ideas of "normal" are always changing---those changes start with deviations from what's "normal" as individuals slowly realize that being "abnormal" in some way works better for them (and sometimes it turns out the "abnormal" way of thinking/acting/being works better for everybody).



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30 Apr 2011, 1:57 am

Jamesy wrote:
Is it true that AS really gets worse with stress? Can it be different for different individuals affected with AS?


being AS or not, stress can make anybody worse. but as myself being diagnosed with autisum, the diagnosis its self can become worse. especailly if you let it, or if your alone most times. social anxiety takes control in front of everyone except your family, and personaly (in my mind) i'd re-create images from my past with myself as some evil monster. and it doesn't end there. truly i believe i've seen how bad "worse" can get.