Hate the question "How are you?"?

Post Reply New Topic

I use the question but I honestly want to know how the person is doing , when I ask. otherwise I wouldn't ask. If I ask "How was your day?" I honestly want to know how your day went. If it was bad, tell me so! I'm curious, and I'm friendly- I'm a shoulder to lean on for people if they want, so I'm willing and ready to let someone rant about something that they feel the need to.

I hate it because it's very difficult for me to give any response to anything. And "How are you" demands a response and people treat me different if I can't respond. So I dread that kind of thing.

It works, and it works ridiculously well most times.

Same here. It seems to me that when most NT's ask this question, they ask it just to ask it. They don't really care what the answer is. So I tell them 'fine' or 'good enough'.

Don't like it.

It's pointless.
Although, if I am asked that I'll respond with "fine thanks" and always add "and you?" because I feel obliged to do so (not that I'm not interested, but I know that nothing 'real' will be said).
The same people do it every day, and I know it's just politness, but it doesn't half get on my wick!

I only ever ask someone if they are ok when they are visibly not themselves; never sure if I could actually help, but would like to think that I could try......

I hate it!

I think it's a personal question. What gives anyone the right to ask such a question? Leave it up to the doctors to ask. They need to know 'how I am', not Joe Schmo at the service counter.

A simple 'hello' will suffice.

I'm neutral. Sometimes it's a good way for me to rant, depending on the person. I often ask it too because I like what little friends I have to be given the opportunity to open up if they're not feeling good.

If it's just said automatically then I don't see the point. One question I HATE more is "What's up?" I never know how to reply. Do you say "fine" or "not much" or what?!? I just ignore it. Oh! And "What's new?" That's the mother of all the crap questions. As if my life is THAT interesting. It just depresses me because I always, always answer "Nothing."

I really hate being asked that question, also being asked 'how have you been?' It greatly embarrasses me being asked because I don't know how to respond. Even when the other person genuinely wants to know, how can I begin to explain how I am in any sort of way that anyone would understand?
Of course most of the time we're not supposed to answer because it's just a form of greeting, so why ask? I avoid answering, or just mutter that I'm OK when I'm not. For me, it's just going though the motions; a rather empty, meaningless exchange that makes me feel very uncomfortable.

"What's up" is confusing because some people expect an actual answer whereas some people expect you to say "what's up" back. I have answered that question many different ways.

Lately people seem to be asking "What's good?" This is even more confusing. Do I treat it like "What's up?" and say "nothing" or does that mean that nothing is good and they will ask my why? Or do I repeat it back to them? Maybe I engage them in philosophical discourse to figure out what "good" actually is. I prefer to just say "Hi."

I've found that many of these questions can be answered with a generic "ya know...stuff" and people will usually hold off on the follow ups.

I kind of like it. Not that I have always, I used to hate having to listen to others tell me how they really feel hehe

But since I have learnt how to shut off and LOOK like I am listening, I think it helps to fill the space in conversations I know I must have (I work) and yet at 42 still have not figured out how to contributute to. Also makes me look like I have an interest in others, only 10 staff so they like to keep it personal.

However, here in Australia "how yer going" really means hello and people rarely respond with anything other than hello! Took me awhile to figure that one out hehe

It doesn't matter to me one way or the other, it does remind me of stores. "Fine, thanks," being my standard reply.
I was at the grocery store around 3:30 pm and the checker almost dropped the customer ahead of me's cauliflower head. "Trying to play basketball?" the customer quipped. I thought it funny, she did look like she was twirling a basketball in her hands from front to back. I wondered why I can't come up with stuff like that? Instead, I just smile and say nothing, or I laugh, nervously. The "How are yous" are easy compared to coming up with jokes and stuff.

I find it a mildly anoying question to be asked. I normally just say "I'm fine", in most cases I know they really don't care, its just something polite they were taught to say. Now if its a family member asking, I'll answer truthfully because I know they really do care.

I like it, as much as one can like a greeting. I always know how to reply.

Maybe it's because I'm not a native speaker? Teachers and textbooks have stated over and over again that it basically means hello, and you should reply with "how are you" or "I'm fine, you?", not your life story.

Allright, how are you?

MooCow and Cornflake, if you have any suggestions for good non-sequeter responses, I'd love to hear them! sounds like my kind of fun!

I hate it. But I ask the question one hundred times a day. And hope for no reply. Because I couldn't care any less as to how a stranger is doing. Let me do my job and get out of there.