Do you hate change but crave variety?

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I get set into a routine. It is really hard for me to break it. I do not like it when my routine has to be modified for any reason. I do not like it when my routine is set by things that are out of my control. Every once in in a while, I will make a sudden change, and it will become my new routine. It is like a switch has been thrown.

I hate when I have no choice but to change. Like right now I'm sitting on my computer and I'll probably have to let someone on it soon. I'm going to get a bit annoyed at that. Another part of change is when I'm stuck doing something but know I need to switch tasks. But the worst is what I call uncontrollable change in a unfamiliar environment. That's when instant panic and agitation sets in and will either result in a meltdown or sensory overload or a shutdown.

Change is good when I go through the steps and gradually switch to the new addition to a routine. I can change bedtimes or get up earlier in the morning. Or decide to watch to watch a TV show at a certain time.

Long term change like working a job or leaving home is what will probably cripple me.

Another bad one would be sudden change that disrupts my plans considerably. Usually this involves rain. It might seem silly that something as small as rain could disrupt my plans but it can affect me walking into town, drying my clothes even delaying trains. I had panic attacks by being caught in storms and have actually been yelled at for having an outburst when it rained and I wanted to walk into town. My plans were ruined.

I'm actually going to write my next article about the levels of change in autism. It's something I've been thinking about for some time.

Definitely, Absolutely can relate to that.

I was wondering how to word that, though I knew that feeling existed.