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struggle with authority...

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Epiphany28
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11 Mar 2011, 1:41 pm

Great advice. :arrow:

bee33 wrote:
Not just how to react to them, but how you actually perceive them.


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League_Girl
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11 Mar 2011, 4:18 pm

bee33 wrote:
I think you need to figure out how to change your perspective and the automatic thoughts that occur whenever something happens that is not to your liking. As others have said, therapy might help, but I think you can on your own consciously think about how you react. You are already self-aware enough to describe the problem. You need to take the next step and really think about how you can change the way you perceive the situations you describe. Not just how to react to them, but how you actually perceive them.

For instance, if your wife asks you to turn down the music, you need to stop and think, "Why is she asking me to turn it down? Would I feel the same way that she is feeling if I were in her situation? What can I do to make the situation better for her?" Generally, you need to try to put yourself in other people's shoes and figure out how you can help them, rather than just automatically listening to your own annoyance. That puts you in a position in which you are in control.



I think better advice be asking her "why?" when she tells him to turn down the radio.



FunnyFairytale
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11 Mar 2011, 4:27 pm

Well, I guess I can relate in some sort of less fun way.
Not that I drive to fast or intentionally break laws.I dont do that, BUT I have this slight memory of not really getting the hint, when a securityguard brushed against me, in what I think was an attempt to ask me to leave( I didnt, however, think of it that way at the time, and really just figured that had he wanted me to leave, he would have told me*dooh*dumb, I know..... and I took a step forward.(not towards him).He grabbed me and threw me backwards and well, I just got scared and immediately felt threatened and punched him, hard..and broke his cheekbone and got 50 hours of community service for it.I also kinda happened to stand up in court at the end and voice my opinion a bit ( I asked for permission first*lol') and long story short.I was found guilty, I got the 50 hrs because I have no previous criminal record and am not likely to repeat this act of violence and they reduced the fine and its almost ridicuoulsy low.

So, while this apparently wasnt directly me being against authority, is still explains how I can misinterpret things and how much I am willing to stand my ground and say NO ,loud and clear,
and I guess I have learned that I need to accept that I sometimes I will misunderstand and read something wrong and when it happens, I should just back off.
I dont exactly feel like adding to my punishment either in the future, so backing off instead of going off, is a good idea.

Im not defending him in this.He very much should have verbally told me to leave as anything physical should never be their first sollution.Same person also punched me in the face while I was in handcuffs in the basement later that evening, before police came.I had nothing against him.I couldnt prove that he had punched me either when I was in handcuffs and to add to this, he has boxing background and proably knows exactly how to make a perfect punch, just hard enough but not hard enough to break something or leave a terrible mark, and this unfolded to his advantage, all of it.

All Im saying is, not all people act according to whats in the law, and I hope you dont come across one of these people because you cant stop yourself.Its better to be careful.
I felt horrible after this incident and even if its been over a year, I still dont feel completely Ok about it, although I dont think about it much anymore.

It is unfortunate what happened and had I reacted differently, and had he not been such a buttface, it wouldnt have, but it doesnt mean that things like this DONT happen, and eventually, you might run into one of these buttfaces and then what?