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Jamesy
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08 Mar 2011, 11:08 am

Whats your advice on how to develop my social skills?



CockneyRebel
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08 Mar 2011, 11:11 am

I think that you can improve in this area. I did.


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BTDT
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08 Mar 2011, 11:35 am

You might try studying how your friends interact with each other when they converse.

It may also help to do a little studying on their interests so you at least have a reasonable idea of what is being discussed.



ToughDiamond
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08 Mar 2011, 11:59 am

Jamesy wrote:
Whats your advice on how to develop my social skills?

This might get you started:
http://www.succeedsocially.com/
I don't say it's all correct, but it gives something to hang your own thinking on, as you work towards a decent social life. It's such a huge subject that it's hard to explain it all at once. Just take it day by day, apply gentle pressure, and be diligent and patient.



Jamesy
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08 Mar 2011, 11:59 am

i know but part of our brain which makes us copy things in our enviorment is impaired



ToughDiamond
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08 Mar 2011, 12:05 pm

Jamesy wrote:
i know but part of our brain which makes us copy things in our enviorment is impaired

Don't let that put you off. Aspies can and do make social progress, which proves that the brain-wiring doesn't have to hold us back, as long as we don't let it.



draelynn
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08 Mar 2011, 12:25 pm

I people watch constantly, especially those, that I feel are very accomplished socially. I approach social interaction like an experiment. I watch other people to develop my theory. I mentally practice several versions of it until I'm satisfied I've developed the thought as best I can then I try it out on unsuspecting victims and mentally record the results. Slow tedious and not always successful BUT when you DO find something that works practice the hell out of it.

Say, if you become good at 'breaking the ice' and gain confidence in starting conversations, peoples more positive reactions can help spur you on in the next challenge.

Like almost anything else - practice practice practice. You don't have to be perfect. Confidence goes a long way even if the delivery is less than smooth.

I also give people permission to laugh with me when I make a blunder. I take way too much at face value - when I completely miss a joke, I make light of it and laugh at myself. It makes others more confortable when they know you recognise it - they seem to accept it as 'quirkiness' instead of a fatal social flaw.