Lack of emotion, depression, or a good thing?

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If you need help then it's probably better to talk to someone, and if there's no one you can talk to at home, then you may need the Haven here.

Just try not to lash out.

Last edited by Moog on 10 Mar 2011, 8:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks for your help Moog.

Can't be done. I used to think I could be like Mr.Spock, but I can't. I might not be able to see my emotions very clearly, but they're there, and they have a big impact on my behaviour.....how can I know what mood I'm in if I ignore my feelings?

The consequenses of ignoring mood or emotions are very real. I narrowly avoided sending a nasty email to some friends....it was only as I got to the end of it that I realised I was in a bad mood, then I read back what I'd put, and I realised I was just indiscriminately throwing bricks. When I'm angry, I do a lot less damage if I know I'm angry.

Anyway, without feelings, you'll never know happiness, because that's a feeling too. It's tempting to give up on it because happiness can be so elusive, and if most of the emotions you've had are negative, then you won't really want emotions. But practically everybody who studies psychology or sociology comes to the conclusion that we need to treat our emotional self with respect, if we're going to be happy.

I don't agree that "lack of emotions" is always down to depression. Especially for Aspies.

The naivete in this post is refreshing. It makes me realized how messed up I really am.

"Emotions" are part of your thinking. Thinking is what your brain does. The amount of emotion you have is based on mood and personality trait. There are pros and cons to both too much and too little emotion. A healthy combination is be emotional when it matters and logical when it is not. When I am feeling "normal", I have some vague moods and/or energy levels that come and go, but I can't seem to link them to specific events. It is hard for me to know why I am feeling "stressed", "calm", or "bad". In short I have alexithymia.



No, you really, really don't want this. This is called anhedonia, which is a major symptom of clinical depression. It really makes it hard to get motivated (which requires thinking about something). You just feel like you are barely existing. You can't find pleasure in things (which requires emotions). You have a hard time caring about things (that requires emotions). Let me illustrate a point on why emotion is tied to thinking. I have been recovering from some anhedonia this past week (yah, I am getting better!)

This is what happened to me because of anhedonia this week and this is why emotions are important:
1. I was on the phone talking to my best friend about this trip that we had planned for months (I should be very happy) but I don't care.
2. I am tired of not having food in the house and eating fast food once a day. I had planned on some grocery shopping so I could save money, feel better, eat better, etc. (this should make me motivated and happy) but I don't care.
3. I had a co-worker complain to my boss that I wasn't doing my job (I should be mad) but I don't care.
4. I almost hit a curb while driving my car (this should make me worried, anxious, maybe, after all I could bend the rim) but I don't care.

I have alexithymia about 90% of the time. The few times I don't, I have episodes of anhedonia or maybe (its been about a year or two) severe agitation. This is what having bipolar and aspergers has done to me (the last 20 years). That is why I am on medication. This mood disorder has come close to killing me, but I am okay now (except last week?).

Anyway, enough of my rambling.

I can only agree, suffering anhedonia was the most awful time of my life.

That seems to be what my depressions are like (I never have sadness). For some unknown reason (it is always unknown!) I slid into one about a week or so ago. I am feeling better now though. Sometimes it just lasts only about a week sometimes a month. I am usually just have alexithymia though. Sometimes that is irritating because I feel that maybe I can stop the slide into depression if I just knew. Dealing with a chronic mood disorder is very difficult, even with medication.

I have been through periods where I was emotionally dead. It was pretty horrible, and not something that I would wish on anybody. After a while, you start wishing for pain, because you just want to feel something. It was not a time in which I was thinking rationally, quite the contrary. My sense of perspective was all messed up. Important things did not seem important, but trivial things seemed to be critical.

Yeah I have a bit of trouble displaying emotion because I don't really feel I need to show whether I'm happy, sad, etcetera unless I genuinely do feel that emotion greatly, so I won't smile unless I'm REALLY happy. I do think it helps me think more logically as I'm not being distracted by them, but it does kind of put distance between me and others. Though I don't really want to show emotion over small things as I would feel a bit uncomfortable expressing emotion over something I don't particularly find moving.

Emotions are really important, even the bad ones. If we never felt sad, we'd never feel the need to change things in our lives that weren't going so well. For example, if you were in a dead end job which gave you no satisfaction, you'd just stay there and not try to find something better or more fulfilling.

I have huge emotions, but I don't often display them, except with close family. Some people probably think I'm pretty emotionless, but this couldn't be further from the truth.

I agree with the general consensus on this thread. The prevalence of Alexithymia in us Aspies is one more obstacle in our quest for well-rounded, fulfilling lives. IQ is great but Emotional Quotient is important also. From what I read online, people with a high EQ tend to be more successful in life supposedly. Here's a test measuring EQ: http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_pa ... gTest=1121

I've had depression before (controlled with medicine now), and I didn't feel a lack of emotion so much as a complete inability to express them. I couldn't laugh a real laugh, and I was incapable of crying.

Thanks for the discussion on this subject.

Over the years, what limited research I've done has not been fruitful on my 'lack of emotion'. I'm a researcher by trade, but mostly in technical fields. I've re-opened this as a subject to work on. Most of what I've read has brought up the concepts of depression and repression; implying a new state of mind.

If it is a new state of mind for me, I would be curious as to what previous state was like. I'm 44 years old and have no knowledge or recollection of any other condition. Though I see happiness, anger, sadness, fear, joy, etc expressed in literature, media, and in the people around me, I don't fully understand what they are going through. I have heard many descriptions of emotion, so I can imagine what it might be like.

I do know what curiosity feels like, but I'm not sure that is technically an emotion.

This is a catch-22 of sorts. Either:

1. I have been depressed since birth and know of no other state. In that case, depression is a very functional. comfortable, and useful state to be in. I would then have no incentive to be non-depressed except as perhaps an experimental curiosity. Or,

2. I am not depressed. In that case much of the literature I have read on the subject is not particularly useful.

I am posting this in the hope that someone else in a similar state has some further useful insight to post. It is not critical that I find an answer. But I am curious.