I had coffee with two neighbours yesterday...

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The only time I have a problem with this is when I use to try to stay involved in a conversation that I have really no interest in. So I would default to those common "hows the weather" chit chat BS that I'm terrible at. I just assumed it's people can tell I have no real interest in small talk and chit chat. I use to kinda get offended by it but I don't anymore, I have learned through more then a few talks with close friends and people that have hung out with me a few times, more often then not, I'm the person people come to when they want a direct, honest, smart answer to a question or problem and a lot of people really respect that nature in me. I've been told on a few occasions that people may not hear me speak a lot but they have never heard a stupid comment come out of my mouth.

"A wise man will share what he knows. But you will have to ask. Otherwise he will
be busy. He has his own quest. He will assume that you have your own. "

This happens to me allot, especially when in larger groups.

For my part though, I don't think it is entirely the other people being rude. It takes allot of work to stay 100% present during the conversation, tracking when to laugh, eye contact, make or mirror a specific expression, insert random detail clarification question ("was that the same girl that ___"), emphasis statement ("there is no way that he could have said that") or continuation question ("so then what did you do","how did ___ take that" ect.). Its like constant reinforcement that you enjoy their story.

I find that if I can religiously stay on top of such things I stay visible, but takes allot of effort and is not always worth it. if I miss out on more than a couple rounds of others in the group exhibiting this behavior though, I begin to disappear. If a couple more rounds go by without input, I won't get let back into the conversation without specific natural openings or someone pausing the conversation to let me back in as a favor.

NTs seems to have very fragile and demanding egos, if you don't give it the right type of pat on the head once a minute, it will start hold a grudge.

Most people will try to make an effort when they want to. They don't give 100% if their undivided attention, but you can tell when they are trying to include other people and when they aren't. Ignoring someone else when you are in their company is considered rude, by universal standards. You are supposed to include guests in your conversation unless you are giving them a specific message. When someone doesn't include someone else, the message is obvious.

I have been in that situation many times. I have a new group of friends and have realised that even tho they talk all the time and dont seem to notice me, if I speak a few times, laugh at them etc then leave feeling invisible they still noticed my presence and tell em they had a good time, invite me again, each time I seem to be able to speak and be heard a little more. Sometimes I feel quite popular but I always feel I shouldn't get too comfy as the friends could move on as fast as they appeared.

this kind of stuff always happens to quiet, introverted types. they get left behind, ignored, and excluded because they don't make any kind of impact on the social gathering, by speaking.
it's nothing personal.

This happens to me all the time. In 3-way conversations I just disappear, and people forget that I am there. The most annoying things is that I will manage to find a break in the conversation, I will ask a question, and they will face the other person, and give their answer to the other person. That is extremely frustrating to me. Another thing that will happen is that I will give a good suggestion, and they will remember clearly that the other person gave the suggestion.