I have experienced regret over my progress in the area of social understanding, thought not for quite the same reason as why the OP feels that way about her own development.
Over the past four or five years, I have, largely through a concerted effort to mimic the behaviour that I observed among 'normal' people, developed my social skills to such a level that I would strike most people as being outwardly confident, and a lot more able in things like eye contact, expression, etc., than one would expect from the stereotypical image of AS. Now, the advantages of this are obvious: I'm able to handle social situations that would have been utterly beyond my capabilities before. But there is one massive downside to it all: very few people believe me when I tell them of the difficulties I continue to face in life, on the grounds that I seem 'too confident' or 'too social' to have any problems.
This is far from a minor issue. Teachers, educational psychologists, and clinical psychologists have all, in taking me at face value, used the fact that my body language and manner of communication seemed 'normal' and 'developed' to deny me support and assistance that would have been extremely beneficial, and that may well have prevented a breakdown I had after only a few months in secondary school with no additional support.
I would happily sacrifice my ability to hold decent eye contact or use an assortment of hand gestures during conversation if it meant that people would more readily consider the idea that I have trouble in dealing with certain aspects of life. Indeed, as I said at the beginning of this post, I almost regret ever setting out to improve my social skills in the first place. I wonder if anybody else feels the same...
24 Mar 2011, 12:01 pm
