introverts-guide-to-thinking-less-and-being-better

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Interestingly enough, the recommendations in that article mirror the recommendations for self help in depression. The aim is to build confidence and increase all those feel good neurotransmitters with physical activity. Interesting seeing it applied in this context but it does make perfect sense.

Sallamandrina,

I agree that quality time is better than quantity time. It's been awhile since I read the article but I hope I didn't imply otherwise. Although, sometimes you need to work on quantity before you can find quality.

Because I find physical activity to be very tightly intertwined with mental health. It doesn't have anything to do with introversion per se, just a mentally fit introvert. You obviously seem like you are very comfortable in your introverted skin - good for you - but keep in mind this is a guide for those who haven't yet gained that security in themselves.

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draelynn,

Yes, there is definitely some overlap. Most of these are suggestions I would make to anyone - introvert or extrovert.

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Pandora_Box,

I don't believe you when you say you aren't a fan of social activities. If you weren't, then why would you choose to come here and interact with people? You just have a different balance than others.

By the way, I too often choose "staying at home" over "going to a party."

Ain't nothing wrong with that. I like people, just in small doses and in different contexts.



Cheers for the replies everyone!

No, you didn't, that part was more of a general observation on how people see introverts. And I think you're also right with the last observation, when I was young(er) I had more random or less interesting interactions until I found the right niche/balance for me.



I fully agree with the physical activity part and thank you for the clarification, it's much easier to discuss something like this when the author chips in

And yes, I'm comfortable with myself and don't have significant self image issues, although it took a lot of effort and self exploring on my part. I think it would be easier for people if introversion wouldn't be seen as a fault or something to be corrected and that's where your article does a good job. My perception is that you are actually encouraging people to think more and get a more realistic idea of their weakness and strengths instead of being overwhelmed by outside pressure of being something they're not.

There is a bit difference:

-Here I am judged based on how intellectual my post are, and I can engage in more intellectual topics

-Here I don't have to worry about others emotions or have to worry about what the persons face says, body langaueg and everything is now out the window I'm only talking to someone else behind a computer screen

-Here I can leave whenever I feel like it, the forums are on my own time

-Here I don't have to worry about tone of voice

Its a completely different form of social activity. That doesn't require all the extra tid bits of filter.

It's still a social activity, I think that's the point that was made.

Well I don't mean to offend people here or anything.

But for the most part I don't take those on the computer as people or I am socializing with them.

I take them as a computer.

I'm not offended. I think a lot of people treat other people on the internet as though they aren't real. It's not great, but not much I can do about it, except assure you that I am a real person with real feelings.

For me, and this is going to sound a bit psychoptathic most people think so, emotions are obsolete.

They get in the way for people to make the right decisions. And they don't try for the most realistic options. I'm logical to the point its suffocating. Facts, numbers, and organization is my game.

There are times when feelings pass through me of course. I'm not saying I don't feel I just look at emotions and people in a very very logical way.

I define emotion with logic.

edit: I realized that made no sense.

What I mean is that the way I feel emotion and empathize with people is in a very analtyical way.

I understand. It is quite common for autistic people to have difficulty with emotions and approach them the way you do.

It's been a long journey for me in learning to experience and proccess emotions in a less analytical way, but that's probably a story for another thread, even if I could tell it in words.

Being better then what? I did not realise it was bad to think a lot.

I thought you were severely depressed Sweetleaf, surely you don't enjoy all your thoughts? I can only assume. My own depression was accompanied (or perhaps caused?) by a lot of unpleasant thoughts.

A thought is only as good as its use value.

Last edited by Moog on 30 Mar 2011, 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think I am half introvert and half self absorbed maybe.

Firstly I find socialising to be tiring and need to be alone to recharge my energy levels.

Secondly I am just not interested in people and their small talk, so even when I do mix my brain zones out on me, wonders off and starts thinking about something more interesting anyway. Id rather read an essay on the mating life of snails than listen to someone rattle on about how they went for a manicure on Thursday, and I'm not particularly into snails either but its more fascinating than someone getting their nails done. I do not mean to lack interest in people, I just do. I try but its hard to fake.

Thirdly, if my brain is not interested in something...forget it lol.

Socialising is not all that much fun most of the time. My art is more fun than socialising is so I'd rather be alone with that.

That would make an excellent aspie T-shirt slogan

Pandora_Box,

I have friends in real life who judge me based on how intellectual I am too. This is by no means something exclusive to Wrong Planet (as cool and smart as you guys may be, don't get me wrong! )



Sure, but no one's forcing you to care about people's emotions in the "real world" either. Sure, there are no faces and body language to detect, that makes it easier to see our personalities as just objects, but I'm sure you can still pick up emotions through text too. I think whenever you deal with people (internet or real world) emotions are a part of that experience (however useless you may find them to be).



This is true for plenty of real world social interactions too.



You still have to worry about other modalities of communication.I would argue written language has a tone too.

Yes, Moog, this rings very true for me. I am still a pretty staunch rationalist to this day, but I have taken strides in trying to gain some "emotional intelligence" as well. (you'll remember my post called "Emotions are Poop" which argued that emotions need to be digested/processed in order to be released).

I often identify with some attributes of the autistic spectrum and I've developed a little theory based on my personal experience (it's actually not a unique theory, I've seen it echoed by other researchers of autism).

Basically, I am very socially aware/empathetic to the point that it cripples my ability to be social. This actually causes me to appear sociopathic, because the feelings of others resonates so strongly with me that I am forced to turn it down, avoid it, or try to rationalize it away. I find this to be especially true when I watch the news. After listening to story after story of people suffering I just begin to see the news as one big joke intended to manipulate people's feelings (in some ways it is, but let's not get political). As a response I often take news stories very lightly to the point where this offends many people (especially, as you can imagine, stories about murder and war).

I think some autistics get to the point where their feelings are so strong for others that they need to rationalize it away or shut it down completely (they probably learn this from an early age, like in school where there is A LOT of different social dynamics being played out). That was my experience at least. However, that avoidance strategy didn't make me happy, so now I am finding ways to empathize with others more efficiently.

The current structure of society is definitely discriminating against introverts. We are forced to spend 6 hours a day at school without break from social interaction. It becomes incredibly tiring over the course of several years and we thus build up an avoidance to society that can last for a lifetime.

(I'm currently writing an ebook called "The Healthy Introvert" - so I've been thinking about this stuff a lot).