Surfman wrote:
bee33 wrote:
Since autism is a spectrum, most of us have both AS and NT traits. I don't think it makes sense to call the two groups wholly separate. Discrimination is ugly, regardless.
I do think Surfman has a point, that people get to dislike their tormentors. But just like having one (or many) bad incident(s) with someone from another race shouldn't lead one to paint the entire race with a broad brush, neither should negative experiences with some NTs lead to coloring all NTs with the same brush.
I agree wholeheartedly.
But, things only change when you get angry, and harsh words are spoken.
Won freedoms seldom come from mild mannered approaches, except maybe the way Gandhi did it, but that was vegetarian India a long time a go.
One of the things I have learnt since my diagnosis 9 months ago, is that when I show some teeth and snarl(figuratively) NT's back off and leave me alone, instead of the usual situation of them scoring points off my passivity.
If anything this dramatised aggression(fake) enables me to function much better, as possible threats are soon eliminated
Dont be afraid to show some teeth.... its how the world is folks
I don't entirely disagree with you, but I think it's more complicated than that. The reason why Gandhi's nonviolence worked (and there are more recent examples, like Martin Luther King, or even the recent events in Egypt -- though it worked out a lot differently in Libya) is that a war of aggression against a more powerful opponent is doomed to failure, and a nonviolent approach (which is by no means passive but which relies on taking on a moral high ground through nonviolent, active resistance) is the only method that can be effective when the other side has much more power. (In other revolutions that were not nonviolent, there was generally a powerful ally to aid the rebels, like the French in the American Revolution.)
The same holds true for personal struggles. Standing your ground and attacking someone who has more power than you do, for instance in a social group, will only lead to you becoming a pariah and a victim. (I know because that's happened to me.) That's not to say that you can't bluff your way through a situation, but you're taking a personal risk. It's better to assess where you stand and weigh the risks before you go on the offensive, or the consequences could be painful.
i think it's great when someone who used to be entirely passive stands up for themselves and stops letting people walk all over them. i just wanted to add that it is a much better approach to be assertive rather than aggressive. that way you are still saying what you want and what you won't put up with but without coming across as difficult, a threat or centering yourself out in a negative way. i did some assertiveness training when i was a teenager and it made a huge difference for me because before that i went back and forth from being a passive doormat to being overly aggressive to get what i wanted, neither of which got me the end results i was looking for long term. just something to look into for anyone reading this that has a problem sticking up for themselves or who is ready to take that step.
28 Mar 2011, 11:51 pm
