Aspergers/Autism and feeling child-like

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daspie
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31 Mar 2011, 11:43 am

MyWorld wrote:

Have you ever felt like your brain has not matured and possibly felt like your still in your childlike state? Like when I stim (one of my stims is rocking, a lot), or having trouble making friends (I have social skills of a 3 year old). I'm very independent, but at times I feel like I'm still a child and can feel a bit ashamed of myself. Have you ever felt the same?

See this link

ChrisVulcan
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31 Mar 2011, 2:17 pm

manlyadam wrote:

I was thinking about my mind and my maturity lately and I came up with this

It feels like I have 4 minds, one mind is a 5 year old boy, he is the part of me that wants to run up to a puddle and put my hands in it, he is fascinated with many things as if he's never seen them before, sees patterns in things and counts as if counting is new to him (look mum 4 this thing has 4 lines on it, that's an even number) and is emotionally weak, overly compassionate about certain things (omg people kill animals? that's where meat comes from?!?) and apathetic about others.

One mind is a 14 year old, he is the one who thinks things like "mortgage? taxes?" no thanks I would rather go to the field with a few beers and my friends.

One mind is my actual age right now 23, I think that's the part of me that's worried I'm not living my life very well right now, the part of me that wants to get a partner, get a job I can bear and move out of my parents house, it's the part of me that feels embarrassed about things caused by the other parts and the most nt part of me.

One mind is a senior citizen who is very clever, very mature and likes to philosophise all day and learn new things.

And the problem with connecting with other people is that if I speak to someone who is one of those ages, that part of me could be satisfied but the others won't be so really I need someone with all 4 minds too.

Yes! I have several ages as well.

One is ten years old, another is in its early twenties, another is about forty-five, and another is closer to sixty or seventy. The last one is weird, it was ninety or so at the time I was born and has been aging backwards ever since.

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SammichEater
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31 Mar 2011, 2:56 pm

It's hard to say how old I really am. In some ways, I do act like a kid. I get upset easily. I probably have the social and emotional skills of a 12 year old. But I suppress it. Most of the people in my classes act very immature, I am nothing like that. My teachers always compliment my responsibility. I do what is important first, and then I have fun. I don't do a lot of the stupid things most 17 year olds do, because, like an adult, I know that they are stupid. But then again, most of them will probably get a job and start living on their own. They will get their maturity very quickly doing that. I will probably still be living at home with my parents until I'm 22. Is that me being immature and not taking responsibility, or is that me being wise instead of arrogant knowing that I'm not ready?

Sheldon96
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31 Mar 2011, 3:22 pm

Yes!!
I am 14 and feel like a little kid most of the time. I'm horrendously fussy eater, I whine like a two year old, I crawl up the stairs, I stick my tongue out at people, and I have a nice array of cuddly toys in my bedroom.

Yet some of the time, I feel like an old woman! I insist on following rules to the letter, and I am somewhat humourless when it comes to the reception of 'jokes'...

But hey-ho, that's just the way some of our brains work.

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JesterOfFire
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31 Mar 2011, 4:43 pm

Oh man can I relate. I'm 24 years old, in college after taking a few years to try living in the "real world", and I still feel like I just graduated high school. It's scary sometimes, especially since by this time next year I won't be living with some of my family and will be completely on my own again. I'm terrified but at the same time I'm making a plan to make sure not a lot goes wrong for me.

In short: Yes, I still feel like I never really turned 18 most of the time.

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31 Mar 2011, 5:45 pm

Uhm, guys, you really are your chronological age. If a kid can do something better than you, that doesn't make them somehow older than you - just better at that skill. Trying to put a number on it is harmful because people aren't one-dimentional - there's all these other skills, experiences, knowledge, strengths & difficulties you have that they don't. A dyslexic 20-year old might do as well as a NT 10-year old on a reading test, but the dyslexic is NOT reading like a 10 year old. The reasons for their scores are different, and they would need to deal with them differently.

If you fit / don't fit various expectations & stereotypes that's because there's something wrong with them, not you.

anbuend wrote:

I don't even understand what it's supposed to mean to "feel childlike". (Or adultlike.) I've never known what it means to "feel like" you're a certain age, and find it confusing that so many people do act like they know what it means.

Seems to me that playfulness is childish, while responsibility & seriousness is adult. So if you're playful you're childlike, while if you're responsible you're adultlike. There's also certain stereotypes associated with certain ages.

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31 Mar 2011, 5:53 pm

anbuend wrote:

I think I said in another thread that what it means to me is that I have not been able to do things culturally expected of "independent" adults.

I am not sure what I am supposed to "feel like" because of my age. I feel much the same now as I did 20 years ago.

Apple_in_my_Eye
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31 Mar 2011, 7:53 pm

I tend to feel that way around people my age when they're talking about things I don't know anything about. I.e. complicated taxes & investments, marriage/nuclear-family stuff (or even relationship stuff, for that matter), and so on. I guess it makes me feel like an "imposter adult," and thus kind of like a "kid in an adult's body" (or a kid in an adult's role in life). When I don't know things that seem to be basic knowledge to most other adults, I start to wonder what else I don't know, that I don't know that I don't know.

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31 Mar 2011, 8:48 pm

Verdandi wrote:

anbuend wrote:

Yeah, I remember that. It just seems like a lot of people really feel like very specific ages -- 3, 8, 12, 15, whatever. And I don't tend to do that. I don't know what it means to feel 30, or 13, or 3. I just... don't.

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littlelily613
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01 Apr 2011, 12:38 am

That is exactly how I feel! I am 26, go to university, with a current A average. On the other hand...I am 26 and sometimes feel younger than the 20 year old I go to school with. I did everything late it seems, and I still live with my parents. I lot of people I went to high school with are married with children and I can't even make friends. I feel really immature a lot of the time...I am supposed to be high-functioning, but I really don't feel it most of the time....

CrinklyCrustacean
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01 Apr 2011, 7:26 am

Bluefins wrote:

Yes, we are our chronological age, but I think the distinction is in the...'emotional age', if you will, and it isn't really an issue of stereotyping, but looking at the average personality of a person at a given age. It's hard for me to explain. Let's say you have a person in their 30's. Physically, they are an adult. They have some or all of the skills that an average adult of their age has, and their overall attitude and persona should be more settled and responsible than that of a teenager. That's not a stereotype, it's how the average 30-something year old is, at least in my experience. However, inside, this 30-something person does not 'think' or 'feel' the way an adult of their age normally would. Even though every day they go to work and are responsible and focussed on 'adult' things, and play by the 'adult' rules, when it comes to going home or socialising or just being by themselves they identify more with teenagers in their thoughts and attitudes and interests. Hence, they would feel like a teenager even though in every other respect they are an adult.

daspie
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01 Apr 2011, 9:10 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

Bluefins wrote:

All if this is just a wishful thinking.

daydreamer84
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01 Apr 2011, 10:10 am

littlelily613 wrote:

Hey I'm exactly like you!....... 26 in uni...... A or A+ average but live with my mommy……depend on my mommy for many things...........did everything late.............well, I won't repeat your whole post but I can relate to everything you said!

Verdandi
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01 Apr 2011, 11:27 am

anbuend wrote:

Possibly they're describing how they felt at those ages. I don't have a good memory for that myself, so I couldn't pick an age and say "this is what I feel like."

Daspie wrote:

All if this is just a wishful thinking.

I really want to be sarcastic here, but I'll just say: Don't you think it's a bit invasive to tell people that what they describe going on in their brains isn't really what's going on in their brains? And this is after linking a thread where you claim that AS people have a social age of less than two years? Where you state as a matter of fact that "we do not know that minds exist?" I would not describe that thread as "wishful thinking," but I would definitely request a big "citation needed."

daspie
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02 Apr 2011, 1:07 am

Verdandi wrote:

But we have asperger's :lol:

Quote:

And this is after linking a thread where you claim that AS people have a social age of less than two years? Where you state as a matter of fact that "we do not know that minds exist?" I would not describe that thread as "wishful thinking," but I would definitely request a big "citation needed."

A nature paper was publisher in 2007 which showed that 6-9 months children can differentiate between different face like expressions. I have been called "just born", "just arrived", kid, son and whatnot. I tried but could not retrieve that paper. I will post it on a thread sometime later. Thanks for the comment

Last edited by daspie on 02 Apr 2011, 5:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bethie
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02 Apr 2011, 1:30 am

I'm probably around 16 emotionally-
possible a younger teen.

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