Shutdown and meltdowns, which do you have?

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My meltdowns are somewhat silent, I "implode" as opposed to explode, If you saw me melting down you'd probably just think I was unusually tense and irritable - no shouting or hitting or head banging, I'd just go to a corner and pat the top of my head talking to myself, my brain would be an absolute mess of static, like every channal turned on at once on TV, my inner monologue goes schizophrenic and I can't think ahead.

But then I have shutdowns more, and when I become emotionally blunted, tend to block out all sounds and hearing, my inner monologue completely ceases, I can't speak coherently or pay attention to the outside world, If a meltdown is like a panic attack then a shutdown is like going into a coma. To the outside observer I would be a limp husk laying on the floor with a thousand yard stare.

i myself dont really have meltdowns; i learned to predict them and how to prevent one from happening by means of a forced shutdown.
this does of course mean that i do have quite a bit of shutdowns, but i'm usually capable to find a quiet, secluded place to do this in (aka, toilet cubicle, usually ), to enhance the resetting effect and prevent others from freaking out if they see it.

the last meltdown i remember was almost 10 years ago now, but it was so agressive and violent that i never want to have one again, and i do all within my power to make sure it never happens again.

Since I'm more of a crier and not very violent, I would have to say that I have shutdowns instead of meltdowns and they last from 5 minutes to 15 minutes and than I'm able to dry up my brownies and go on with my life.

Definitely shutdown for me. Too many. I think that there are many things in my life that I need to change to help this.

Crying is a form of meltdown.

Mostly meltdowns I think. I do have patches that resemble depression where I feel unable to get things done even though I want to. Also my cognition slows down and I can find it harder to interpret something if I am trying to read for example but they come and go when I get very stressed so I put them down to either anxiety, silent migraine or depression. I feel overwhelmingly sleepy and struggle to stay awake but I don't usually fall asleep as I manage, most of the time, to keep myself awake. It usually wears off after a few minutes or hours...it can vary in duration. I do not know if those could be shutdowns.

When I was young I used to scream and curse in school at teachers that were getting on my nerves until I couldn't take it. Later I just shut down. I used to hurt people who bothered me at the moment of meltdown.

I am well past my youth so I very rarely have melt-downs. I very rarely "lose it". On the other hand I have, on some occasions, mentally withdrawn from those around me. I sort of go into my own space and pay little attention to those around me. I pay little attention to the sounds and sights about me.

Fortunately I never do that while driving or riding my bike.

ruveyn

I experience meltdowns more (or more severely), if I interpret well. I know the differentiation between anger-based tantrums and meltdowns. These tantrum-like meltdowns of mine always seem exaggerated, and only a part of them are predictable by using knowledge of previous occurrences due to the diversity of context and cause. I still have about one in a month. I can only temper them by strong will. Fear, anxiety, nonacceptance, foolish righteousness, sometimes mere autistic traits like not achieving something in time all count in.

Thinking about shutdowns, I still have to learn more about it. I think I have partial shutdowns, mainly in expressive spoken language and less frequently in receptive auditive language. Other partial shutdowns like loss of memory, sense of time, emotional perception, sense of self also occur. Overall, nowhere near as severe as my meltdowns or shutdowns of other forum members.

Either one can happen to me when I'm under high stress levels, depending on what pushes me over the edge.

I used to have meltdowns more frequently. Now I have shutdowns more.

^^^--- this happens to me more often than I prefer.

I also get shutdowns that amount to just not moving or speaking. I usually lay down when this happens because I can tell it is incoming, and on rare occasions I fall asleep. Sometimes after shutting down like this I will come out of it somewhat, and then fall asleep. These are usually caused by sensory and/or emotional overload, but those can also lead to meltdowns (much more rarely) but I tend to keep them in. Anyway, this type of shutdown (the just lay down and shut out the world) happens fairly frequently, and can be triggered by anything from a severe emotional upheaval to sudden loud noise to just a build up of stimuli until I finally shut down.

I also get:

* Loss of speech
* Loss of ability to read sentences (but I can still read individual words)
* Loss of ability to interpret what I am seeing very quickly. I get stuck staring at things for several seconds to work out what they are.
* I sometimes get a kind of cognitive pain while trying to read or speak, or speak in certain contexts. I do not know if this is actually a shutdown, although if I push it I do tend to shut down as a consequence.

And these happen in various combinations, usually for similar reasons. Sometimes they happen when I am trying to ignore the shutdowns in the previous paragraph, and I start losing other things until I just let it happen.

I am positive I have other shutdowns, but I haven't yet managed to identify them as shutdowns.

When I meltdown I am much more likely to cry than anything, but I used to get very angry and kind of destructive toward inanimate objects. My sister also can bring out the worst in me (as she did earlier today). When I am building up to a meltdown I tend to get a kind of tension headache that feels distinct from other tension headaches, both really painful and hard to explain precisely. Sort of like there's pressure, like a boil that needs to be lanced, for a vivid and kind of gross metaphor. After I have the meltdown I feel cognitively slow, sometimes for days afterward, and I'm generally exhausted.

I've actually had more meltdowns in my 20s and early 30s than in my childhood or teenage years, or the past six years. I've had shutdowns as long as I could remember but I never really had an explanation for them.

Shutdowns... that actually last for days on end. Sometimes longer. This is why I live all alone on 40 acres...

Last edited by kfisherx on 21 Apr 2011, 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

I "shut down"- I become mute and don't want to be spoken to or touched.

The list of female-specific Aspergers traits circulating the Women's Section mentions women are more likely to shut down than melt down, in general.

Mostly shutdowns.

I've been having an oncoming meltdown over the last several months. I think it is being caused by my upcoming 30th birthday. There's just so much stuff I want to do: so many books to read, so many places to visit, so many vid games to try out, so many different cuisines to sample,so many different girls to hang out with... and I know I only have an increasingly short of time to do these things and it's been driving me mad. My state of anxiety has ratcheted up tenfold in recent times and I'm going through a real rough patch-- a "meltdown" by any standards.

But I prefer to call it a "midlife crisis."

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