Do you feel its better that you know you have AS now or

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I feel better knowing that I have AS, because I don't have as much wrong with me as I thought I did, before I found out.

Much better. It means that I know for certain that normality is impossible for me and I can work with my brain instead of trying to beat it into a shape it shouldn't be in.

I am also one of these people who feels better before my (self-)diagnosis. About the question "why participate here? you could always just ignore the diagnosis" - no, I am very prone to ruminative thougts; if I was not discussing AS in the forum, probably I will be thinking about AS. At least the interactive discussion is more interesting and less morbid than my permanent self-reflection.

About why feel better before - many people in this thread had been relieved when they knew about AS because these mean that it is not "their fault"; in my case, it was the opposite - I had always thougt than my social isolation was fault of the other people, that the reason because I was withdrawn and detached should be because "normal" people should had some problem that makes me to prefer my books, my imagination,, etc. to their company.

Then, the discovery of AS represented the discovery that the problem was not with them, but with me (after all, if AS is an integral part of me, these mean that the problems caused by AS are caused by me).

When I was diagnosed last year it was a great relief to have a diagnosis that provided an explanation for my problems, rather than just providing a label for them. But as time passes, I wonder if I would have been better off not having this concrete reason to isolate myself.

I still hate life but now I know why. Before I knew what was wrong with me I thought I might have been crazy.

I was officially diagnosed last year at age 35, but I am not sure if the diagnosis is correct. On one level it does make sense, but I still feel that my pre-diagnosis self-diagnosis as a lazy & anxiety-riddled NT is actually correct and the AS diagnosis is wrong. Unfortunately I am not sure this way or that, and the doubt kills me.

Even if I were to accept the AS label, I think not knowing has done a lot of damage caused by bad career choices & unrecognized social anxiety hammering my self esteem to the ground. Failure after failure over the decades have left me depressed and unmotivated to try once again. The damage will be hard to repair.

Like several others here have said, I did at times wonder if I actually was insane or badly traumatized as a kid. At one point I thought I might have killed someone and supressed the memory ... it was not the most pleasant of thoughts.

I don't have a diagnosis but if I do have an ASD (and I suspect it) it would be nice to know rather than feeling like I'm a very weird mentally ill NT who does not fit in regardless of how hard I try.

I feel better knowing because it gives me a better perception of my limits and why I do certain things.

I'd rather not have it but I'd rather know if I do have it.

As I was born in the 1950s, I wasn't diagnosed until late in life. I managed to do very well at school and university, have a successful career, marry and have three children before discovering I had Asperger's. What diagnosis has given me is an understanding and acceptance of why I am what my mother always called 'different' (in a critical and disparaging tone). It may not be 'normal' to feel physical pain and panic in noisy surroundings, or to have difficulty wearing anything but the smoothest loosest clothing, to feel high levels of anxiety when a faced with unexpected visitors and be unable to engage in 'smalltalk' etc, etc, etc... but it IS normal for someone like me.

I now know that I am either not an alien (or as I was once called 'an android that hasn't been programmed for humour'), or that if I am, there are others out there, and one day maybe the Mothership will come and collect us!

Gee, that really strikes a chord with me. I'm right now at the "I feel like a very weird mentally ill NT" stage, and now I'm wondering if going in for a diagnosis would actually help?

But, if I did, what if they diagnosed me with predromal schizophrenia?! Or something like Always-going-to-be-a-Loser Disorder? I don't think I could handle that kind of label, lol. I think I'll stick with ignorance until THE GAME IS UP!