What does it mean to forgive?

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This constantly replaying things in my mind poisons my soul from time to time after I had to face indignity, rejection, injustice, misjudgement. It's interesting, that if I was able to speak with those people from whom these things originated, my tension (or anger) would become more bearable. But to forget, it's a different thing. I mostly oppress my memories and feelings. Some memories fade with time anyway. There is an opportunity though, if I could manage to understand why things happen in the world (sometimes with me), I would be more forgiving.

If the ego craves position and power forgiveness becomes more difficult.

Also if property or persons are lost or taken from you.

Survival may depend on certain accessories, and a threat to your ownership of needed accessories may risk survival...

A bird is angry with the cat because it must sit in the tree and wait

The cat is angry with the bird which has seen him

The bird is angry with other birds who compete for food

The cat is angry cause the neighbours cat is coming on his his territory

The artist is angry with this mortal coil..................autist??

It used to be difficult for me to forgive, but now it's difficult for me to hold a grudge.

If I keep thinking about something bad that someone has done to me and how I would like to do something bad to them in response it's like I'm letting them keep hurting me. It would be like they got to hurt me and they got to make me keep thinking about it and make me hurt myself by doing so. That doesn't provide any benefit to me, and doesn't bother them at all.

Instead of spending time thinking about bad things people have done to me in the past, I try to consider the best ways to make myself happier and to make things better. If what a person has done is big enough to make me believe that they would intend to continue trying to hurt me then I will avoid them and try to prevent them from having the opportunity to hurt me more, but I try not to let them make me hurt myself by their making me spend time thinking about them.

To me, foregiveness is a gift that you can choose to give or not. Some people are worth giving the gift of foregiveness to, and some are not. I think foregiveness is a very important thing, not to be considered lightly, and not to be given lightly, It is worthy of much thought and consideration, perhaps in proportion to the intensity of the perceived wrong. There are some people I foregive unconditionally all the time without question, there are some people that I foregave after some time and much thought, and there are a few people who I have never foregiven because their wrongs were unforgiveable IMHO. Once I have foregiven someone, I consider it to be a permanent decision and it is like giving myself permission to move on and not dwell on the wrong doing. There are a few times that I regret having forgiven someone. In some very few cases, my foregiveness takes a lot of effort...and every day I have to work hard to remind myself "I have foregiven that person, let it go." In other cases, foregiveness is very easy and I hardly remember the wrong.

Holding a grudge is human nature. How one deals with it I think is what matters. I think there are healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with grudges. For example, allowing a grudge to become an obsession and dwelling on it constantly I think causes much internal stress and is unhealthy. Talking about a grudge with a trusted confidante is health. Foregiveness, even if it takes daily effort, I think is a healthy way of dealing with a grudge.

Great question!

I forgive people easily, unless they're the type who expect to be forgiven and take my kindness for granted, and will hurt me again without much concern. Then I don't forgive easily. Usually if the hurt is not deep I have a hard time remembering to be angry, seems to take too much energy. Only deep hurts plus people who aren't sorry at all seem to leave marks.