Self awareness of social mistakes

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Thanks for saying so.

How aware are you of social mistakes that you make? Funnily enough, I am very aware. It's not until afterwards that I've made a mistake. I don't think I've ever done a social mistake and not known about it. It's just at the very time I'm not realising it, until a few seconds after I've done it. Then I feel like kicking myself.

Do you need to be told that you've said or done wrong before you understand? I have been told before, but I already knew that it was a social mistake, or if I didn't know it was a mistake, I do understand how it was a mistake if told. But I also know when the person telling me is just trying to single me out and in reality I didn't make a social mistake at all. Once at work a ladie was talking to another ladie about a new man who had started, and the first ladie said, ''I don't really like him very much'', and I was standing nearby and I said, ''oh, why not?'' and she bit my head off! She said, ''I wasn't talking to you!'' Then afterwards she said I mustn't jump into people's conversations like that. But I thought to myself that I didn't go anything socially wrong, because I see people do this all the time. Once I was talking to a ladie about something much more private, and another worker (who wasn't even near us) walked over and butted her way right into my conversation and said, ''what happened?'' And I thought that was very rude - much more ruder than me asking that other ladie why she didn't like the new worker. I was just concerned. This person who butted into my conversation wasn't being concerned or anything - she was just being nosy and rude.

If you are self-aware of mistakes, what information tells you that a social mistake has occurred? If I've said something I shouldn't, I usually know it shouldn't have been said because the other person doesn't always answer but I know they've heard, or they look down worriedly, or sometimes purse their lips together in a silent panic, as if to say, ''why did you say that?! !'' Then straight away I know, and I know that the best thing to do after that is to shut up and change the subject.

How well do you judge others' reactions to you (ie read their facial expressions, body language, etc)? This normally causes a lot of arguments on WP when I put this, but here goes....I'm an Aspie who does not have a problem with judging facial expressions and body language. This might be slightly off-topic, but before I get off the bus stop when my stop comes, I usually look around at other people to see if they look like they're coming off, and I always know if they are or not. And I haven't learnt any of this - I just know. But the reason why this causes arguments on WP is because people think I'm not really an Aspie. But I am. I have all the other symptoms. Just not the ''reading non-verbal cues'' symptom. OK, sometimes I probably misinterpret non-verbal cues, but everybody does from time to time. NTs aren't always quick on the mark all the time.

How aware are you of the social mistakes that other people make? If someone commits a social faux pas or says something inappropriate, do you usually notice? What about odd or peculiar body language?b]
I usually do notice. Even with jokes. I know that not all jokes are appropriate, judging by the circumstances behind it. I can suss people out very easily. I don't know how I do it. I just can. It's weird for an Aspie, I know.
(How the f**k do I get the answer in this paragraph out of bold?! !! !)


[b]Have you ever been compared with someone who you thought was socially less skilled than you? Were you surprised by this?[/ Yes! In fact, every single day I'm always looking at an NT and thinking, ''huh? WTF? Why? But they're NT....'' And this is why I'm always, sort of, bringing up NT behaviour on WP - it's because I'm confused. My uncle is NT (as far as his social skills goes) but he has an obsession with a woman, and he talks about her non-stop, and each time you see him he goes over the same thing, like a monologue, about this one woman, and it's lasted every week for the passed 4 years, and everybody is getting sick and tired - and he doesn't seem to realise that everybody's fed up. Surely he must have picked this up that everybody's getting fed up. And yet if you have a problem, he wouldn't listen. He would just say that he's in the worst situation because he doesn't have this woman (and this woman isn't even interested in him). And I know some other people who make other social mistakes and doesn't look like they're realising it, and I get SO confused. And confusion causes me to become obsessed with whatever's confusing me, and I just have to know the ins and outs because otherwise I get so confused that I go mad.

Usually I get people on WP arguing that ''I'm not an Aspie because I understand the social rules''. Yes, but I still make social mistakes, then realise it when it's too late. I hate that. The other day I said 2 wrong things in the space of 1 minute, and I knew it was then time to shut up. Like the other week at work somebody said, ''ohh my glasses have all steamed up'', and I said, ''that's why I don't ever want to wear glasses, unless for reading when I have to'', and the person said, ''yes, but it's not like we have the choice, is it?'' and I could tell in her voice that what I said was a stupid thing to say.

Last edited by Joe90 on 03 Jun 2011, 12:33 pm, edited 5 times in total.

I am seldom aware of a mistake unless someone actually points it out to me. I make mistakes all the time, & most people don't correct me. They just get mad, thinking I am being rude on purpose. How is one supposed to learn if one is not corrected? But then again, I can't tell anyone that I probably have Aspergers because I don't have an official DX.

I constantly notice that people think a lot of things which I didnt intend, cant describe how I notice but it is based on peoples reactions. Generally I will not care because I know that I didnt mean things in those ways, so Im simply inocent while people make wrong assumptions. I also generally dont care so much that people think I didnt notice. So then I bear the label being stupid to them, but if its really bad I tell them theyre wrong. Its like a comedy! The deal is to stay clear with my own head, which needs peace for several hours sometimes. This goes for everybody else too, I understand the faux pas in front of my eyes, but to me all faux pas are actually sympathic. Especially when other people try to fix their situations.