Question about Socializing and Partying?

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The college organization I am in has several different self formed groups, that anyone in the college group can join in with at any time, but there are certain regulars. None of these groups drink, however some have more of a standard party atmosphere than others.

The one that I fit in the best with is one that is very structured. We have "game nights" every week or so and have a game to structure our evenings, while still getting to know eachother better. This is better for me because I like to be doing something and have a reason for being somewhere. Now that I have gotten to know this group of friends I am a lot more willing to sit and just talk, but for a while that would have been difficult. These people have become my close friends and I would truly do anything for them. It also helps that I have met with most of them in a smaller setting and gotten to talk to them and understand them better. Several of the people in this group show aspie traits as well.

There is another group that meets in my neighborhood and they have a less structured atmosphere. Because they live so close I have tried several times to go to their events, however I have found them nervewracking because there isn't anything to *do* and they just seem to sit around and talk. So I end up playing with the dog a bit or finding one person to talk to the entire evening. I like the people in the group, but I just can't handle that atmosphere very well. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and it annoys me.

The third group that I am a part of is kind of in the middle. They sit and talk a lot, but also play games and such. I think the reason I don't go to their things as much is because their events are too frequent and I can't hang with people every night of the week or I would implode. However, there are several NTs in this group with whom I have enjoyed very deep conversations with on issues like theology.

Depends on the type of party and who is at the party. If it is a DnD party then hells ya break out the dice. LAN parties work too.
HS/College parties...never.

I think the structure idea is spot on. In the parties I've been to the thing I dislike the most is the lack of something to do. Sitting in a big group and just talking about random stuff I find almost painful. Also regaling anecdotes of the past seems popular, I hardly remember things like that so feel inadequate.

I have to be mentally engaged and talking about "stuff" that "people did" doesn't cut it. I end up feeling completely alone, like everyone is having fun around me and I just don't get it and I want out. Hate that feeling.

Now that I read this thread, I see one more aspect I dislike about parties. The lack of structure! If there would be structured, organized parties where we would play boardgames for example, that would be great. Unfortunately, noone does these...

I might be marginally more social. Socialisation is work no matter who I'm talking to, though.

Oh, and NTs talk about things besides gossip and celebrities. Some people here need to start seeing them as people and not as some homogenous blob of vacuity.

I like dancing and getting drunk but I am not really good at casual conversation. I get in conversations sometimes if there is an interesting topic going, but a lot of the party I spend just watching everyone and everything.

About socializing: I don't mind socializing with people with qualities I dislike, but I much prefer to observe than engage in conversation. I don't have social anxiety at all, sometimes I just don't want to talk or don't have anything to talk about.

About partying: I enjoy parties, alcohol, etc but the parties I go to never involve socializing.

AFAIK Social anxiety and Aspergers Syndrome are the same thing. Aspergers are shy, quiet, introverted people with low self-esteem and low confidence. People with Aspergers and/or Social Anxiety find it hard to interact with people they do not know and do not trust.

I've got no problem with prties as such.......it's the style of the party that makes or breaks it. Small, tranquil, orderly, friendly - fine. Anything else - probably not. In some people's hands a party can become a savage beast.

Actually this could be an age thing too......you don't get many 58-year-old ravers. It's great being older - if you stick to your age group, everybody calms down and gets a lot more safe and predictable. Well, almost everybody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8-CVtwFbxo

My neighbour suggested we should have a street party for the royal wedding, just for fun. I hoped my husband wouldn't want to go, but he said we should make an effort. Anyway, we bought cakes and I did a bit of cooking and I enjoyed having something practical to do. Most of the neighbours came. I spent most of the time making sure my parents were catered for and that my daughter was OK. I spoke to my neighbour's parents (I know the Gran well from the school playground) and only briefly to some others. I hated it and was relieved when some games started and the focus changed to the grass area, where the contestants were and I participated. The worst bit came when people were leaving and the neighbour who organised it was thanking everyone for coming, individually. I just left quietly without saying anything. I had been nipping in and out of the house all day anyway, so they didn't notice.