Do NTs seem devoid of emotions?

Post Reply New Topic

That's what I was kind of getting at. NT people appear to me to have strong emotions woven into their personalities... I work in schools, and it's so obvious in that setting. Most of the kids in the hallways are loud and vehemently social and emotional... bouncing words and feelings and gestures off each other, rapid fire. It's just how they are. NT Adults may tone things down somewhat, but the dynamic is still the same.

It is people on the spectrum (myself included) who are often having to construct emotions to suit social situations... really just bastardized representations of the feelings that other people seem to experience and express automatically and with no effort. Of course I have emotions. I have a depth and range of feeling that I know to be comprehensive for my perceptions of the world. But if I were to step out of that box, and into the emotional landscape of your average NT, it is a very different place... complex and chaotic and confusing to someone like me. A total difference of scale. My emotions are like a little inflatable kiddie pool. NT emotions are like an olympic-sized swimming pool.

Not judging the rightness of either orientation, here. Simply two different paradigms.

Bewildering emotions? Yes. No emotions? No. They switch gears, and react weirdly, but people have never seen devoid of emotion to me.

NTs can be emotional in a quieter way. They use their emotions to decide fates of people. That is how they express them. Instead of outwardly expressing grief, they let their actions express it.

Most people appear to be very emotional to me. Before I knew anything about AS, NT, or the differences between the two, I found everyone else to be moody and whiny and needy, sometimes to the point of histrionic. Now I realize that others have different ways of thinking and feeling, which are normal for them and foreign to me. I think that the ability to understand and express emotions is more common in the general population than the autistic population, just like perfect pitch is more common in the autistic population than the general population.

Sometimes they say I am the whiny, moody one. I notice most people do stifle their emotions in public, though, especially adults. They want to look cool, calm, mature, in control. So, they don't express emotions. When they get annoyed, instead of expressing it directly, they will make terse comments dripping with sarcasm, usually in a quiet tone. Usually I can figure it out after a little while. If I ask what's wrong, usually I get "nothing." So what can you do?
One thing I have always had difficulty with is being able to stifle. I can transfer, but not stifle. I might laugh instead of cry, but an emotion will always be present. I tend to look like I am in a bad mood without trying.

I find that NTs are less emotionally expressive than aspies. Many of them hide their emotions so that if you dont realise they are doing this it could be assumed they are not having any at all.

Oops, I had not even considered people hiding their emotions or displaying something other than what they feel. Is the question really asking "Do NTs seem devoid of genuine emotions?"

I think they are.
No way.

I've wondered the same thing. I think this perception of "shallowness" might be more a depressive introvert thing than an "aspie" thing. It's hard for things not to seem this way when most of your interactions with other people are amidst the mundane hustle of everyday life. For the most part people just seem busy and pre-occupied 24/7, even my own family. The deeper emotional interactions that some NT's must have in private I'm mostly locked out of. It does seem though that there is a significant segment of people who really are just shallow, and that's both on and off the autism spectrum.


Don't know if that's universally true for people on the autism spectrum. I've always been somewhat over-sensitive to gestures and tone of voice, so much so that I've had to learn to filter that stuff out to some degree.

NTs seem much better at understanding why they have a given emotion. I was in group therapy and even though I was older than most of the 20 yr olds there, I felt like an emotional m***et. I experienced less emotions and I didn't seem to understand why. They seem to have much deeper insight and understanding of themselves and their emotions and were great at expressing themselves. I felt like I was surrounded by emotional geniuses. It's not so much that NTs feel much more emotion but have better access/understanding/control of their emotions, I think?

Definitely. I was also in group therapy, and everyone there explained their emotions well and picked up on each other's emotions right away and could relate to each other even though they all had different circumstances bringing them there. Meanwhile, I felt like an emotionless robot. People would tell me what I felt, and I would believe them, because I didn't seem to have any feelings, but what they were really telling me was what they felt. For awhile, I wondered if I was a psychopath.

Sort of.

NT, is also a spectrum, though. lol.

They are the majority of the population, so just because they aren't autistic doesn't mean they are the same, and I do see a lot of NTs with some autistic traits. Even it's to a very mild degree, it's enough to set them apart from everyone else.

I do see how most people fake emotions. How can you know what emotions they really feel if they feign offense and present emotions that they don't feel deeply so often? I don't think people are actually offended when they act like thy are most of the time. This is my big thing. It's like they *want* to be offended so I don't buy into it. If I've said something that someone is offended by, but not for true emotional reasons,, I just ignore them or basically let them know that they are ridiculous, in so many words.

I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.

I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.

I said somewhat.

To me other people seem to express emotion in very odd ways that I can't fathom - and with a sort of control that I don't get either. They will seem quite emotional in situations that don't make sense to me and yet other situations where I'm all ready to jump into and let it all out I'll suddenly realise they're acting very flat or disinterested about.

I try not to jump too much when they burst out laughing - and when I feel like laughing I've learned to always suppress it.

The latter happens MUCH more often for me than the former so I said somewhat.

I also need to add that I feel more at ease and get along better with people who are VERY bubbly and outwardly emotional - I understand them better, they seem more at ease with me and I feel free-er to express myself more with them. In a social setting they often seem to make other people as uneasy as I do which immediately draws me. Ultimately they always end up moving on tho. Intimate relationships in my life before being married were always with women who were like that. I guess those sort of people take other people more "just as they are" because they themselves are eccentric - but ultimately they are normal.

For what it's worth - and this relates to the subcurrent I've seen in various places about AS people being emotional or unemotional: Spock may or may not have AS - but he's CERTAINLY a Vulcan (or part thereof)...

Ick, I find that they are full of overwhelming and irrational emotions. Half of the time they have no clue what they are doing, or why they are reacting to something... But they do have rather blank faces sometimes. I never know what to make of that.

You have to be careful though. Just because a reaction seems ridiculous from your perspective doesn't mean the reaction is disingenuous. I only say this because I don't like being on the receiving end when other people decide I'm being ridiculous and refuse to understand me.

I was thinking about this, too, but even if the reaction is genuine, should they still be met with sympathy if it is just ridiculous?

I mean if someone was TRULY hurt over something that I thought was ridiculous I would apologize, but if they just had butthurt and I didn't find what I said all that offensive, I don't think it would bother me.