Dr. Phil advise mom to send autistic child away.

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Because I'm kinda em. well the child have angleman syndrome. her mother my ex friend abuse her left her with me and I have adopted her. I posted about it month or so back.
in my ex friend is diagnose with a ASD and so was her son, yet she only had a problem with the girl disability. it seem like this mother would sue the doctor if she could for a test that's not really accurate. A matter a fact it was mothers who sued doctor because of that.

Lucky kid! That makes you a better person too. Good for you for taking in a child who wasn't wanted. I grew up unwanted too. Which was made even more painful because I was adopted. But my adoptive parents couldn't handle my issues either. They would swing back & forth from neglect to physical abuse. I really mean it too....it's very kind that you took in a child & adopted her. And are giving her a better life. Way cool. Wish there were more people like you to step up to the plate.

It doesn't make her 'good', it just makes her human. It is not an easy thing to admit that you are weak. She didn't think she had the ability to handle the issues a severly affected child might have. It takes alot of courage to stand up and say 'I can and WILL do this'. Not everyone thinks they are that brave. But, even though her worst fear came to pass, she DID stand up and take on the challenge.

Many times, it is older mothers who must face the issue of having a Down's child. Many do opt to abort for a variety of reasons. Older parents have to consider who will care for their child after they are gone. A new parent in their 40's has 20 years less with their child than the average parent - and they are also facing retirement 20 years sooner. Can a 60 year old woman still change diapers on her 20 year old son? There are many many issues to consider. I think 'good' or 'bad' shouldn't be in this type of conversation.

You're forgiven. I think that quote crossed the line is all for her situation. Now if she was abusing him like smearing his used pull ups in his face or burning him with hot water or throwing him in a cold shower or feeding him hot sauce or beating him or starving him or pushing him down the stairs, I probably wouldn't have been upset by it.

What I think is 2 parts with the case on the video.

1. The kid would be sent to a Temporary institution to give the kid training to get him up to par were he needs to be
And
2. The mother needs some training for both Autism and Down Syndrome and know how to handle it because for when the kid gets back the mom needs the training or else all the stuff the kid learn could be regress back to before.

So Basicly training for the Dad, mom and kid. being in a permanent institution is not a answer I do believe that.

if I touch a nerve with anyone I am sry.

tomboy4good, I'm very sorry your parents treated you that way. They damn well should have known better.

If I was the mother, I would also feel a lot of hate and anger against the child. I'd hate my child. Is it that wrong?
That child is a nightmare. If they'd have received help, things would be better, but presently its a pure nightmare. The life of the mother is presently a living hell. There's no pleasure in her life at all.

You know, I don't even love my mother even though she loves me, is it also that wrong?
I think that we shouldn't be obliged to like someone, but we should always be kind, respectful and do our best for our children and our caregivers.

The child need to receive special treatments for a while and the mother need some time away of her kid to recover.

I think this is called respite care and it's starting to be a little bit common. And it needs to be a heck of a lot more common.

Someone simply coming in and giving the parent a break.

In one book I read where a guy talked about his younger brother who was autistic, he reported that his mother said that a lot of people wanted to try and cure his brother, but not too many people wanted to help care for him.

Black and white thinking is not your friend, must fight it.


But lot of people are black and white in this area when it comes to wanting an abortion or having one, AS or not because it's a political issue and controversial. So it's a personal thing and because it's so controversial, people are stating to use miscarriage as a PC word for abortion because they had to have one for a medical reason. I find that offensive because I had a miscarriage and if people keep saying they had a miscarriage when they didn't, people are going to think I had an abortion if I ever mention I once had one because they won't know the difference anymore. That's what I hate about PC. Just say they had an abortion for a medical reason geez.

And lot of people are having abortions over their baby having Down's but I can't think they are bad for it. I used to feel they were bad but lot of people just want perfect kids and even I feel the same way. That doesn't make me bad. But yet when parents end up with a special needs child, they love them no matter what but yet if they knew how their kid was going to turn out, they would have had an abortion but I think they usually keep it to themselves and not ever express it due to judgments. I used to wish I was never born and if I knew about abortions then, I would have been asking my mother why didn't she abort me (as if she would know how I would have turned out and my life).


Being under stress and not being able to handle a special needs child does not make someone bad.

A friend of mine has a child with DS and that child is well mannered and very loving caring child but this one has many issues he is dealing with making him hard to live with. I can understand how overwhelmed the mother is and how she feels at the end of her rope. On top of the down DS child she has other children she has to take care of. It looks like the DS kid is getting the lion's share of attention of the parents I feel sorry for their other kids too.

Believe it or not, I agree with you. I can't say that I would be PROUD about how I felt, but I wouldn't be able to help it.

I haven't looked to see if there are follow-ups on the family, but I sincerely hope that they all got the help they needed.

as the mother of a child with HFA and an Aspie here is what I think.
Where is Dad?

He wants his son to be at home always? Ok fine but is he paying for a behavioral therapist, paying for respite care, taking son to doctor/therapist appointments, arguing with the damned insurance companies, fighting the school for services? Is he learning sign language? Has he invested in PECs or an IPAD? So his son has some form of communication.

What is he doing to make it happen? Special needs kids require a lot. That child needs help and an institution while not a good choice appears to be the lesser of the two evils(mom psychotically killing them all) Yes I think she is there.

Nobody wants to actually HELP when you have a special needs child. I spent the entire danged afternoon trying to arrange 80 days of activities and nobody will take special needs children. The basic underlying message from most places even if they are supposed to be autism specialists/centers is "It's YOUR problem" The schools only cover what they have to for the most part and nothing more. I've been told my child can't participate because of his Autism and guess what it's discrimination. People don't like children with disabilities and for the most part could care less. That poor woman needs a break and so does her child.....especially as the only thing he managed to communicate is he thinks she's mean. Is she utterly messed up maybe but she's utterly exhausted and I've never met a ASD mother who doesn't have issues.

one of my sisters adopted a little boy with down syndrome. I notice she teaches her sign language and she also have a shared ipad that she uses. so looking at this I have too wonder did they ever try to teach him signs. my sister only use blue rays (spelling) and children books that cost less then 35 usd. I really wish Dr.Phil do a update.

It seem this story have parents with younger children with down syndrome worry.

downsyn

here is the link if anyone wants a better view. downsyn

That poor mom is being run ragged trying to do her best for her severly disabled son. I can't believe how someone (I will not name names) on here blame the mom but I bet if they had the opertunity to help the mom they would help for a day or two but once the had to clean the feces off a wall, change the 50th soiled diaper, or having to stop him from smashing his head for the 50th time they would suddenly find an excuse to leave that mother to her own devices. I wonder if they would still see that mother as a bad person as they a sneaking out of the situation.

I really believe if i was to be one of his caregiver, i would do away with the pampers all together. In feces smearing would of been stopped years ago. I probably be able to take care of him and have time out getting my nails done. ( just my 2 cents)