How do you feel when you accidentally offend someone

Post Reply New Topic

I feel like crap and I take it to heart.

Yeah, I know what you mean. When I communicate, I gravitate toward comments that will be taken the wrong way. It's practically the story of my life. I realize it's just the way things are. It is what it is.
I don't think it's possible for me not to do it since it seems to flow from the subconscious. That's a big reason I stay quiet unless it's just basic information and don't offer an opinion. Just the other day on WP I typed something. Luckily I was able to backspace and delete it before posting it because I reflected the reader would have been insulted, but I didn't think it was insulting when I first read it.
Sometimes, things get by me, anyway, without me realizing it's a back handed compliment.

I happen to be an edit demon because of that.

I honestly think it's their problem but unless it's a family member or relative or friend or husband or kid, I will care and feel bad about it. They get special treatment.

The first one, her problem because just because the celebrity is way older than you doesn't mean photos of them from when they were younger doesn't exist nor the movies they were in when they were young. So you could have meant she looked just like that actress from a young age. It be like someone telling me I look like someone who was once an actress in the 1940's and no offense be taken. That actress be young then.

Case, two. Did you imply anything? Like why did you think you play the cowardly lion and someone else can play the tin man and she can play the scar crow?

Case three, her problem not yours. I have been there myself except it was with spraying water with my finger and I didn't mean to get my ex but he also thought I did it on purpose.



My solution to this problem is to not talk at all unless spoken to but do not say anything else. Only answer questions. But unless people know you well, then it's safe to talk more because they will know you better and know you "don't mean it" when you say it. So therefore no offense get taken. This is what I do all the time and it works. But somehow people already know I "don't mean it" when they first meet me. Somehow they get the sense I am "innocent" so they don't get offended at all.


Also none ASD people offend people all the time too without meaning to so it's not just an aspie thing.

A lot of people don't want to tell you what's wrong, they just want you to feel bad. Probe them for questions and they refuse to answer. So I assume it's a personal problem.

Awkward

At the time: Confused and Awkward

Later (when I replay and analyse,overanalyse, analyse some more): Guilty, Angry that they were oversensitive and Frustrated that I screwed up again.

I hate myself.

You shouldn't discount the fact that some manipulative people will claim to be angry and terribly offended when they're really not, but they're hoping that you will back down.

I feel frustrated and sad. I also get a little scared, because I'm afraid that the person will hate me now, and I don't want that. If I offend someone, I always try to apologize and make it right.

it bothers me more that i have been thought of negatively when my intentions are positive (and have been misconstrued) than that i might have hurt someone's feelings.

i don't know when i've offended someone anyhow unless they tell me, and i find it rare that people say so.