Is possible that someone in the spectrum can be mistaken...

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Joined: 7 Dec 2010
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28 May 2011, 12:56 pm

Phonic wrote:

Quote:

What did you do?

Every topic involving me would eventually be turned to something I cared about.

In another forum in assisted in starting a coup with replaced the old admins with a democratic council of forum regulars and peers. drama

I've never done that. Except all the time.

Never been involved in a coup to my knowledge.

League_Girl
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28 May 2011, 1:26 pm

Verdandi wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

Sometimes I wonder now if misunderstandings and being read wrong online counts. Just imagine going for an autism assessment and the doctor asks you if people think you're this or that, would it count if you get those accusations online? In real life people are less likely to tell you, especially if you don't have much contact with people in real life, you still won't get those real life accusations. Also one of my aspie friends once told me because it's the internet, people don't care if they take your post out of context, they are not going to even try and understand and listen to what your intentions were because they don't care.

1) I certainly didn't use online misunderstandings to explain why I thought I was autistic when I got my diagnosis, so I have no idea.

2) My observations and anecdotes shared online is that a) yes, a lot of non-autistic people do experience this too, and b) that it seems like autistic people do actually tend to catch a lot more trouble than NTs for various reasons. This topic seems to come up fairly frequently, and I've seen these things play out in various online communities over the years (not just with regards to me, but other people I knew were also autistic).

3) I know that the core of a lot of my problems online tends to be a) I take someone else literally and miss subtext, and b) someone else reads subtext into what I write when I wrote literally what I meant. I don't think these things are deliberate, but they cause friction.

Quote:

One of the prompts for it was that I would say someone's argument was stupid. I thought that referring to the argument and not the person would take the sting out, but I was clearly mistaken.

And honestly I think saying "That's stupid" is a weak argument because you have to say why it's stupid or it's a weak argument.

I didn't say, "that's stupid." I said "Your argument is stupid and wrong, and here is my exhaustive argument as to why. Additionally, here are multiple citations to support my argument."

People just take having their ideas called "stupid" personally, even if it's the truth. So I try to avoid it and find other ways to say it, if I want them to listen to me, anyway.

One thing about my online interactions is that I didn't know I was autistic or even different from other people when they happened, so I had no way to place them into any context until recently.

I was talking about a user here who said "That's stupid" and I think that is a weak argument. This person sucked at arguing anyway and wouldn't even back up her claims or her opinions. Sometimes she would back them up and sometimes she just go something like "You idiot" or "That's stupid" and not say anything else like why she thinks that. But of course saying "You idiot" would also be a personal attack even if you did say why they are one.

Your post just reminded me of this one person and the "That's stupid" incident.

League_Girl
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28 May 2011, 1:29 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:

On a practical note, I see that English is not your native language. Do you get different reactions when you post in Italian as opposed to English? It might be partly a language thing.

I've been accused of bullying when it was never my intention. I'm just too precise and literal and it gets misinterpreted.

I've been accused of bullying too but I have learned that some people view it as bullying when you stand up for yourself. I suppose if I told a bully to look stupid up in the dictionary and that it has a picture of them, I bet they say I bullied that person and not even care about the fact they were insulting me first or they believe the bully's lies so they think he is the innocent one and I just said that to him for no reason when he was just minding his own business.

Verdandi
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28 May 2011, 1:37 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Another cause of internet friction for me is that I tend to mistake things that are stated generally or not specifically aimed at me as aimed at me for various reasons.

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

League_Girl wrote:

Not too long ago, I disagreed with someone elsewhere, and she responded by simultaneously calling me too stupid and too smart to make arguments she wanted to read. She also mocked my writing style (multiple paragraph replies), implied a threat toward me, and mocked my opinions. She told me she wanted an explanation of my position in one or two paragraphs, and I gave it to her in eight, and she called it "pseudo-intellectual gibberish."

And when I did not agree that her opinion was the correct one, she called me a bully.

I am fairly certain that while I did disagree with her and I did call out some of her statements as factually wrong, that I did not do anything like the above to her. I am uncertain of this definition of "bully" in which the abuser gets is bullied by their target's failure to comply with said abuse.

League_Girl
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28 May 2011, 3:12 pm

A rule I made up for myself is those who have to insult you and call you names when you don't agree loses the argument and they suck at it. They couldn't do it in a mature way so their argument is weak. To me it looks all immature and childish. On facebook, there is a guy in a group who acts like he is a teen because he throws out insults and does name calling when people don't agree with him. Tons of people have him blocked so they won't see his posts. To him anyone who doesn't agree with what he says is "stupid." Sometimes I wonder if he is just a troll because I do not believe anyone can be that ignorant as he is, his views and perceptions of the world about parents and kids. Also the fact his wife is just like him and has his same judgments and I find that hard to believe but jerks tend to go for other jerks.

Also people who use your spelling against you to disagree with you and not validate your opinions is also weak. I honestly think they just say that because they want an excuse so they use their poor spelling as an excuse or one typo. Some people just want excuses so they will look for one. But sometimes it is valid because some people write so poorly, it's hard to read it so why waste your time arguing with someone and trying to read their posts and trying to make out what it says? I tend to skip those posts so no chance I'd be arguing with them. But I am not using it against their opinions or to disagree with them. I am using it to not spend my time arguing with them because I am too lazy to read their posts.

My own excuse is name calling and insults. I don't care if they do it behind my back or think it, I just don't want them spelling them out to me. They can go to their friends and rant about how stupid I am and stuff and I won't know about it. In fact they can go to another forum and do it and I won't know about it. If I catch them, oh well. Then I know what they really think of me. But maybe that is why they do do insults, to win an argument because they know it will shut you out because you wouldn't even want to bother with them.

Some people's perception of bullying is flawed. Heck when you answer someone's question and it was something they didn't want to hear, they call you a bully because they only wanted to hear what they wanted to hear. That is an example there of their definition of bully being flawed. Some people even thinking venting about other people is bullying. Some people think shows like "World's Dumbest criminals" or "1000 ways to die" or other websites about dumbest consumer complaints or dumb 911 calls, etc is bullying. I guess everyone is a bully to a degree. :wink:

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29 May 2011, 8:00 am

wavefreak58 wrote:

When i have been accused of arrogance i've posted in italian. It might be

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