Aspied are normal people

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Actually, I think you're on to something here. My aspieness does seem to fluctuate with stress levels.

Well I never saw your thread, but I don't get offended about things on the internet.......I am bothered by ignorance which I think was kind of expressed in this thread(not by you but the OP). And I guess that is one way to look at it, if people sort of ostracize you its rather hard to be 'normal' as they already see something different and attack(for lack of a better term).

I'm going to suggest that the difference goes well beyond starting a thread on the same subject, and actually goes into how you start that thread. The OP here said:



I actually disagree with this, and I would say something similar to what Callista said to you in your thread, but my immediate response to this is different than it is to the following:



I'm not sure what you're going on about with regards to "scream and cry for years about having AS," although my immediate reaction is to wonder if you were suggesting that most of the discussion here falls into that category.

And here is something quoted that you apparently edited out of your OP, but was quoted later in the thread. This no doubt sparked some tension with people:



With this, you made it kind of clear that other posters here who do not post in a manner that you agree with annoy you. How can this be taken as anything but combative? You've thrown down the gauntlet.

When I say things like that, like when I point out I do not understand how people can make a blanket declaration that AS is not a disability, or that only particular parts are disabling, I know that someone who holds those opinions may very well say something in response. I am not surprised when people react predictably. Typically, no one responds, perhaps because I don't go on to say "if you weren't disabled, you would be...etc" when I can't possibly know anything about them.

I'd suggest it's not what you say, it's how you refer to other people when you say it, and how you respond to disagreement in your own threads. Your thread actually was pretty calm at first, but your responses made it seem that you didn't have much respect for differing opinions, and you made some errors in black and white thinking (If I can't be normal, I must be totally unlike all NTs and from Jupiter!), and in general seemed to want an all-or-nothing thing, which is nearly always going to cause strife.

I don't have anything against you, and I realized your writing did not properly communicate what you were saying, so I've tried to stop reacting to your comments the way I had before. I am pointing out things that stand out to me as being likely to provoke people to respond badly to what you write, and why.

Anyway, I am pretty certain the OP is wrong. I am not a normal person just for my AS alone - let alone multiple other factors, and I am fine with that. I don't see the point of trying to maintain a polite fiction for myself that I am a "normal person" when my actual differences are anything but. It doesn't mean I view myself poorly or that I am required to have such severe impairments that anyone could accurately diagnose me by looking at me.

Last edited by Verdandi on 29 May 2011, 2:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I have to comb and wash my hair in the sink everyday or else I cannot do anything else.

Well there you have it might have been irritated by these posts as well, not offended and I probably would have remained civil....but yes I strongly disagree with the idea that the only thing that is abnormal is complete mental retardation which that seems to suggest. Normal to me means more that you fit in with society, understand society and desire to be a part of it. Now some people who are not as strongly affected by aspergers might come off as perfectly normal. But its an innaccurate generalization not all of us have the ability to fake it that way some of us cannot come off as normal no matter how hard we try......I personally do not try because I do not really want to be included in what is viewed as normal anyways. Even some NT's are abnormal.

I forgot to mention that it seems to me most of the thread is people trying to discuss with Joe90, not attack her. But it's easy to remember the really combative responses over everything else, even if they weren't the majority.

Mostly, it seems like there were many communication misfires, which are sometimes hard to avoid, aren't really anyone's fault, and don't help.

That is long forgotten, and I feel so stupid for writing that because I didn't fully understand. I still don't now, but somehow I know that all the words in the white box are wrong. It's just that I used to volunteer at a special needs club for teenagers with problems, and I knew a few who needed 24-hour care, and were in a wheelchair and couldn't speak or do anything for themselves. I wasn't against them. I helped them respectively. I gave them cuddles. I made them feel they have just as much right to be on this planet as the next person. One boy who was in a wheelchair just showed one emotion all the time - which was a happy emotion. His parents told me he never, ever gets upset or anything. And he wasn't self-aware at all. In the street he would just shout out noises all the time, which was his only way of communicating (although he wasn't shouting at anyone in particular).
And then there were the types of people who had disabilities but were self-aware enough to take part in society and lead an independant life (like me). One had Down's Syndrome, but she was very self-aware - and very grown-up. But she couldn't read or write, but could draw really good pictures. I liked her very much, and I loved looking at her drawings.
But all these teens here didn't all have Autism. In fact....I think only one of them was Autistic. She needed care, but she worked in Tesco, filling up the shelves (with a helper with her all the time). I wasn't sure if she was self-aware or not, but she never communicated with anybody, or made eye-contact. She'd just follow you around, holding one emotion the whole time.

All these people were really nice. I found working with them more comfortable than working where I work now - which is full of NTs, back-stabbing eachother and so forth. I think I might look into going back to working with people with disabilities. I might learn something, then be able to say acceptable things on WP for once!

I don't comb, don't glue or gel, only dry.

OP: I understand that in many ways it can seem that we are able to do many things if we tried hard enough. But, even a person like me, who doesn't feel himself so much affected by ASD, unlike a significant part of people here, can see that there are limits, sometimes through painful experience. I very much appreciate a positive way of thinking in everybody, AS or not. But to disregard or neglect the differences ASD people have compared to so called NTs is a mistake, and by no means fair.

Don't feel stupid for writing it. You were speaking your mind, which didn't endear you, but you also removed it later



Oh, the place you work now sounds really hellish. I hope you get the experience you need from it so you can move on to something that is a better and much less stressful environment for you.

You say a lot of acceptable things. I was trying to explain why some of the things you have said get strong responses, not that you're a bad person for saying them. I apologize if I came across as the latter.

Oh, I'm not really disabled? Wonderful!
I'll just go and get over my pretend difficulties and function and behave exactly like everyone else, then. Many thanks to the OP for waking me up to myself.

I know a girl who runs up from behind you and literally leaps onto your back. I don't quite know what's wrong with her there, but that definately isn't normal. But she isn't autistic or anything. She's OK when she talks to you and you talk to her, but it's just this leaping on your back thing. Nobody likes it - its not like one of them sociable jokes we sometimes do. It's a weird habit, and people in college have laughed at her.

To say it in simple terms:Aspies are like normal people who are a bit shy or a bit eccentric.But not really different,except if you have not really seen a really different person.

The thing is everybody treats me differently because i have something.Many people treated me normally before they learned that i am different.Never had friends because i am different,even though i hanged out with others,never had relationship even though i am extremelly handsome,people making fun of me,made fun of me just because i sat with a girl,just because it was me.

First of all, I'm proud to be different.

Second of all, I know what's going on around me. I just don't like what's going on around me.

That's why I like the things and the era that I like.

After the way that I've been treated like my normal peers my entire life, I'm proud to be different.

I did expect strong responses from saying things like that, but I've started 3 threads what have ended up in disagreement, and I didn't mean to start them. I thought I was just explaining a missing point. Mostly I've seen on WP that people keep adding new parts to Autism - really random ones what I've never heard of before, and even cancer being interfered with Autism has been mentioned, and it's got a bit silly. I understand unrelated disorders like Agoraphobia or Bipolar can sometimes be in relation to Autism, or common in Autistics, but not things as far as cancer, or even silly things like what shape your hands are. But I've gone slightly off-topic now, and I'm not getting at anyone on this thread or anything.

Let's see...
I have
A total lack of social instincts, so that everything social has to be learned consciously.

Face recognition difficulties.

Auditory processing problems.

Sensory issues that pretty well guarantee that I'll be in some kind of pain every time I leave the house.

Executive dysfunction.

Gross and fine motor skills problems.

... and I'm high-functioning.

It's a lot more than just being a bit shy or eccentric, and it bugs the hell out of me when it's trivialised like that.

Isn't being unfair being different?I mean many people here hate MR,if i was in their place i would feel crap.Imagine being treated differently,inferiority,i would prefer doing a massacre than suicide because suicide only would be unfair.I remember one time i came to the class and the teacher said to me ''I thought we lost you''.

Last edited by JohnyJohn on 29 May 2011, 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.