obsessed with people...?

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That has romance story potential, and not the cheesy dime-novel kind.

Send him flowers or a gift with a thank you note

I was obsessed with my ex years ago when I was with her & for a long time after it ended. I started crushing on the iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove about a year & a half ago & if you seen a lot of my post you should know that I am majorly obsessed with her & have been for quite a while. I really care about her & it hurts because I know I cant do anything to be with her. I need a miracle

You both have no idea how right you are. You see, I am not only Aspie but am also gay (but totally alone for the past 14 years) and this guy was so overwhelmingly good to me last year that I fell in love with him... not a sexual kind of love, but a deep platonic kind of love and sense of connection with him. It was not until about 8 months ago when he showed strong signs of sex interest in me on two separate occasions that I also developed a sex interest in him (and up until that time I had presumed him to be hetero). I DID give him a thank you note last November, including my email and phone number and inviting him to call if he ever wanted to chat (and I was thinking primarily in terms of simple friendship). He is so avoidant and non-communicative though that I did not expect that this would be possible for him to do. He began avoiding me as strongly as he avoids everybody else about a month later (and now even more so) and I suspect that he may have developed a strong distrust of me when nothing happened. As far as I can see, he has nobody else other than himself and probably feels somewhat self-conscious and anxious about it. I also have to wonder if he might be playing deceptive head games with me or trying to gay-bait me in some manner (but then he may suspect I am doing the same with him). This is usually an NT trait and he is too Aspie-like to be NT. I am almost certain that music is his main special interest and at one point I had made three CDs for him to show him some of the music I like best. My therapist suggested that I not give them to him because I did not know what kind of music he liked. Only two days ago I happened to witness an event in which someone else was trying to intimidate and bully him, but I could do nothing to make him feel better about himself because he is avoiding me so strongly now. He used to react to me with a huge, exaggerated smile on his face that he showed to nobody else, along with an effort to form the words of a silent greeting on his lips. Now if he happens to pass me accidentally, he hangs his head so as to totally avoid eye contact with me. It really is heartbreaking.

Today he really did hurt me when he came walking past my place with a cellphone held to his ear (showing that he would talk to someone else but not to me... unless he was pretending to be talking to me as he has done once before). But not one single word was spoken by him in the 10 seconds that it took him to pass by. So as of today, I am in the unenviable position of having to cut him off permanently. At least he knows my phone number and where I live in case he really does value my friendship, but with trust issues, he would never be able to reach out to me on his own if he suspected that I was manipulating him as I now suspect he may be doing to me.

To make matters worse, people around here are now starting to try to intimidate me too with shouted comments (similar to what I heard aimed at my "friend" the other day) most of which are too lewd to repeat here. This did not happen a year ago, but the company that runs this place does seem to have lowered their standards greatly in that time to keep the apartments full. For example, only five minutes after I posted this, someone drove past my corner and shouted out, "he wants off". I was standing outside and it was plain to hear. It seems that bullies are a dime a dozen these days. Whether it is gay bashing or Aspie bashing or some combination is unknown. And I cannot repeat what two young women shouted out at me from 15 feet away a couple of weeks ago. I no longer trust anybody around here.

Today has not been a very good day at all. An hour ago I got an email from the therapist that I see occasionally (I wanted her to do a sleep hypnosis session with me). She told me how busy she was and that I should contact her again in a couple of months.

Real life is so much more profound and full of emotion than anything they dream up for the soap operas.

At age 25 after a series of several extreme all consuming crushes since the age of about 13 I realised something wasn't normal about the way I was tending to become so obsessed and said so to my GP.

He referred me to a psychologist - with a caution that I was NOT allowed to fall in love with her In his letter which she read out to me he said I seemed prone to developing "morbid fascination" with women.

I ended up seeing her on a weekly basis for about 6 months for one on one sessions and group sessions. Her declared objective with me wasn't to work specifically with the fascination business (and no I didn't fall in love with her) but to generally "unkink" me and make me feel happier and more comfortable with myself.

At the end of it all I had lost about 20kg - as in my mental state clearly reflected on my general physical being in that I effortlessly shed my overweight - and was indeed a much happier person.

When I finally decide to pursue an AS diagnosis I will contact her in the first instance as she spent a LOT of time observing and talking to me. Oddly enough I have a vague recollection of her commenting that there was a condition involved but it was easily in hand and she felt it would serve no purpose and perhaps cause me problems if it was "declared" so to speak. At that time I was cruising nicely and feeling good so really wasn't paying attention etc. - pretty much "yeah whatever - it's all cool". Now I wonder seriously if it was indeed AS she was talking about...

I've been obsessed with three guys and two girls. It's always to do with their appearance and how they are in the world, and I crave to experience the world through their eyes, and to look in the mirror and see them.

I'm obsessed with bus-drivers, and I thought I was keeping them to myself but I've realised that over the past 3 years of being obsessed with them, I have hinted to friends about them and have told people, and now all of my friends know. I didn't want anybody to know, but I am so obsessed that I can't help slipping little hints out about them. I've been saying about them on Facebook, (but now I've stopped because I realised it's stupid), but now I have found out that one of my friends has been calling me weird because of liking bus-drivers, even though she doesn't even know them. Now I feel like a right idiot and wish I hadn't opened my mouth in the first place.

But surely it doesn't hurt just to mention one or two little things about them. One of my friends (who I don't talk about bus-drivers excessively to) often asks me if I have seen the bus-driver I like the most, and when I say no she gives sympathy, and when i say yes she asks when, just out of interest. Then when I say when, she says, ''that's good, it's nice for you to have a chat with him, he seems really nice'', and I just say ''yeah'' and everything, then the subject changes, and so I never bring him up unless she asks. If she didn't want to know, she wouldn't ask, because she doesn't know how obsessed I am, she just thinks it's just a general fad. And I like to keep it that way.

I just wish there was a way to get rid of the ''what's on your mind/'' box on Facebook, because sometimes (especially when I am depressed or excited) I find it irresistable to write something down about him, and then I regret it afterwards. I didn't realise how much obsessions give you such an urge to express them all the time.

I'm obsessed with people generally. And i usually focus on the negative issues of our present society - because i can see no good in it.

find another aspie and be obsessed with eachother. it used to happen to me but i decided to avoid people after i realised how creepy i was being. now people like me at school but neve4r contact me outside of school which is just how i like it. g2g lunch time

Yes, but only person at a time. I have no energy for anything more. I tend to smother whomever I'm obsessed with (which I'm sure isn't shocking).

I think all humans have a "relationship honeymoon period."

You meet someone. They're new. You're curious, and want to get to know them. They're interesting... for a while.

Well, we get interested in something... but tend to go to far.

Perhaps that's why we are too "into" people, or cling too much to relationships/people?

The 1st was a guy from middle school which lasted all 3 years and my middle school experience revolved around that obsession, then in high school it was my 2 male teachers for 2 years (2 of them), then another guy in my new high school for about a year and then on and off for the next year, and also another guy during those two years. And then another guy who I dated for three weeks, but I was obsessed with him for a few months.


These obsessions seem to rule my life...I need to focus on schoolwork and not men!! ! Ahhhhhhh!! !

Having obsessions with people is the worst thing to obsess over, because you're more likely to lose your obsession. People move on, they don't stick in your life forever, so you spend most of your time worrying about them disappearing out of your life, more than actually enjoying your obsession.

I'm not lecturing anybody here. I'm just sharing my own experience, because I am the sort of Aspie that gets too obsessed with people more than anything else in the world. I am currently obsessed with bus-drivers, which is the last thing to get obsessed with because bus-drivers do not stick in your life for long unless you are actually dating one or are really good friends with one. Bus services often get moved from one company to another, different drivers come and go, and you end up getting so attached that you wonder what's hit you when a day comes where your bus is in a different bus company with completely new faces on it. I tend to make myself known though, especially if I don't like a certain bus-driver, I would glare at him/her and storm off the bus without saying thank you.

Obsessions with people are the worst ever. I don't know why some Aspies (like myself) naturally get obsessed with people for. It's rather an unhealthy obsession really. At least if I was obsessed with a certain book of facts about history or something, I can do all that in my free time, so I can still find a job that won't discard me from my obsessions. But with people, it kind of affects what job you want to do because you need to be in certain places at certain times to be able to see the certain people you like. Also it affects relationships too. All I want is a bus-driver for a boyfriend, anyone else is boring and not interesting enough. I just want a bus-driver, but all the ones I fancy are all married, although I'm lucky enough to be able to at least speak to one of them....well, heh, they've changed his contract now so I can't see him any more. Just typical.

I was obsessed with the man I am now married to. He broke up with me while we were dating, and I was heartbroken and finally lost my obsession with him. Then we got back together and got married. We love each other, but I am no longer obsessed with him. I think he might think that's a bad thing...

I will lose my obsession with the bus-drivers if a woman who is my friend isn't back on my bus. They had all their contracts changed a few weeks ago, and since then I haven't seen her, although I know she's still in the company because she's the one who warned me about the contract change. She did say she will be back on my bus, but I haven't seen her so far. I know she is a possible Aspie because we have so much in common with each other and what she's said about herself so far sounds very Aspie-ish, like she gets anxious at routine change, she finds relationships very hard, she struggles with friendships and socialising, she's prone to getting upset easily, and she suffers from stress and anxiety over small things what others wouldn't worry about. Even if that all does not necessarily mean she's Aspie, it still makes me feel good when I talk to her. She's very fond of me too, and I think we would make great friends, and I wanted to get her number the next time I see her on my bus, but like I said, she hasn't been on it lately so I haven't got to see her. The last time I did speak to her a stupid old bag (passenger) got on the bus and practically took over and started yakking on to her about herself and completely pushing me out. The bus-driver couldn't get a word in edgeways and so couldn't stop her, but personally I think that old bag was so rude. That could have been my last moments I had to speak to my friend, and I could have got her number there and then, but I couldn't because this stupid snotty old bag had to take over....ohh, some people I hate!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I don't even think people listen to me. I'd be flattered that someone is obsessed with me.

So anyone looking for someone to stalk...feel free to sit outside my window all night.

It would be a nice change from people just talking at me about some dumb friend of theirs who did some dumb crap sometime somewhere.