I am not terribly unhappy. I actually thank god every day for the life that I have. But dont you sometimes feel that if you could just focus your intelligence and effort towards one thing, you could become truly great at it? I feel that my inability to choose one topic of interest to devote myself to, is holding me back. I would love to choose a career based on my interests, but I lose interest in things so quickly, that it would never work. When I discovered the symptoms of Aspergers last week, it was like a twenty year weight lifted off of my shoulders. I had convinced myself that I had some disease that no one else did! My depression has come and gone in cycles, the anxiety is always there, but in all I know that I live a life many would envy. I just want some more control over my obsessions.
To those that think they have ADD, PLEASE do yourself a favor and seek treatment. I am now taking Strattera and Concerta, and they have made a HUGE difference in my ability to focus. I do feel severely increased anxiety late in the day, but my physician seems to think that by experimenting with different dosing schedules I can overcome this. I know that to some a diagnosis means nothing, but to me it would be an answer to a lifelong prayer; almost closure. Especially now that I know others feel the same as I do.
25 Aug 2006, 7:55 pm
