Aspergers and innocence, naivete, gullability, etc

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I wish I could find middle grounds.

The word people most often use to desribe me: "harmless". I've never thought I was innocent but everybody thinks I am. On the positive, I can get away with saying/doing stuff that others can't.

When I was younger, I was VERY naïve. I believed whatever anyone told me, because I had no reason to believe they'd lie to me.(Except my brother, who by then had proven himself a compulsive liar.) Then I started working in a sales floor. I learned that people can and will say anything they need to in order to get what they want. I also learned the tricks that salesman use to get the maximum amount of money from customers. But more than anything else, the sales job I had taught me to be skeptical of anyone I don't know and to grant trust upon when it's earned, rather than by default. I know that there are few things Aspies would want to do less than work in sales but if you can muster the strength to do it, I'd recommend everyone spend at least a few months in sales. The skepticism you gain will serve you for the rest of your life.

I'm the same way. I believe what people tell me all the time, without doubting them, unless it's totally outrageous. It doesn't occur to me that people would lie to me, in my head I'm like "Why would they lie to me? There's nothing to gain" followed up by obsessing over what reason they would have to lie to me, so I don't even think about it.

I'm very gullible, and come off as innocent when you first speak to me. I've also been told my thinking is incredibly selfish; I disagree. Has anyone ever told you that you're selfish?

I was incredibly naive as a child and I still get shocked at what people do. There were things I had no idea about. I am also seen as innocent. I still tend to be gullible because I don't know when people are lying. Sometimes I figure out someone is lying or suspect it or find out they've lied. If someone sounds BS to me, I think of it as a lie or suspect it could be. Also from what I have learned online, I also suspect now that they may not be telling the truth and they are just saying it to be nice because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I have also learned from my husband too because he would tell me he said that to be nice. But me I would have been flat out honest. I don't understand why it be wrong to tell a sales person, I am not interested in it or that I don't want it or need it.

I have been told I am selfish too. I don't let it bother me.

I also find difficult to balance between being too paranoid and too thrusting. I'm thankful I'm skeptical a little by nature, so it helped me to avoid the most nasty traps of my naivety. It happened on a lot of occasions though that I was cheated, taken advantage of, or simply made fun of being so naive, I suspect.

The housing estate I was brought up on wasn't the nicest of all, still my initial naivety lasted for long. Perhaps because I was brought up in the era of socialism, and crime was either less abundant or more veiled during the regime.

Being an overly logical thinker (or having a different way of thinking in general) and having spent less time among people than others usually have in itself is a disadvantage in knowing how "normal" people think.

I could be told and made believe almost everything. The older I got the better I could tell, but it's still a problem, that is why I prefer to be around a handful of people I know who won't tell me lies, or at least I know when they lie since I know them for enough time I was able to figure them out.

In the life, I was keen to develop coping mechanisms to deal with situations like buying or selling second hand goods and being able to make bargains, using skilled labour to renovate the apartment and such, while avoiding to be cheated. This is not easy to me even now.

i had a very similar experience. i was 34 years old when i finally realized that infidelity was a something people really did and not just something that t.v. producers made up for soap operas. i am 44 years old now, and still cannot seem to rise above the child-like gullibility that i seem to have always had. i have read about it, and done my best to study human behavior in the attempt to overcome this problem, but cannot seem to do it in spite of my best efforts. i have recently recognized that there is a pattern within these circumstances where just when i think i have finally gotten a grasp of how to judge the sincerity and integrity of others, as well as attempt to prevent myself from walking around with i flashing sign over my head that reads 'sucker', i am shockingly overwhelmed by whatever situation comes to light that proves to me i didn't have a clue. it seems that if i actually talk to a person or interact with them that i can't help but trust in their good nature. i do not understand the mentality of deceit. i literally shudder every time i find out that i am surrounded by it. it has taken an enormous toll on the quality of life i have been able to enjoy. at this point i do not think that it will ever change. the strangest part about it is that while i can recognize from the pattern that the sequences of events surrounding my attempts at social interaction culminate, the repetition of the result is the only thing i can see. it is as if the negative results materialize out of thin air. it is one of the most frustrating circumstances of this condition to possess parts of both the mind of an adult and the mind of a child.

im endlessly naive.

It never occurs to me until later that a person might be lying to me and I'm always shocked when people are intentionally hurtful. Crappy childhood experiences didn't change that and I still trust too easily. Honestly I think my massive self-involvement is what keeps me safest in that respect.

I'm pretty naive and gullible, too, almost to a fault. Its also been said that Aspies lack a sense of guile, what exactly does that mean?

Guile is a form of deception in order to get what you want. This can be a good thing if you want to trick people into believing you're something you're not based on how you come across through appearance, and a bad thing if and only if you're the kind of person who has low self-worth and uses guile as a means to an end, in order to take advantage of the weaknesses of others.

It's funny that this zombie thread came back, because I was thinking about posting the same question. I'm incredibly naive and gullible.

I've regularly made the joke that if you look under gullible in the dictionary, you'll find my photo.

The thing is, people take advantage of that, and it really pisses me off when they do, particularly for the people I trust, and have told that I'm gullible, and asked them not to take advantage of that. We have a subcontractor who thinks it's funny to leave me hanging, not knowing if he's serious or not.

That had consequences one day, when I took him seriously, and he was just kidding.

I should add, this also leads me to trust other people too much, and far too easily. I always want to think the best of them. That's ended badly lots of times, too.

I am paranoid. I think NT's know who to trust and when. Because I am not good at reading body language, I am automatically distrustful of everybody. I think paranoia becomes part of AS as you recognize your cognitive weaknesses. My mom has it too. She doesn't trust anybody.

I used to be fairly naive and gullible, I suppose, though I was always relatively paranoid about certain things.

I don't know.
It's hard for me to not take what people say at face value all the time.
I try to be a bit more reflective these days, and not do that as much, but I just as often forget and do it anyhow.
It seems like people are always leaving important details out when they tell me things until it's too late for me to do anything about it.
They do get away with outright lies less, but it really pisses me off when I catch them, so I'm not sure if it's a good thing that I do.
It's so upsetting, when they lie to me like that to try and take advantage of me.

Recently, one woman 'left something out' and then expected me to lie for her to strangers or end up homeless, this after she claimed to know what Asperger's is, 'I was a nurse.'
I never actually had to, but the fact that she didn't tell me about it and misrepresented the situation beforehand really upset me.

My current roommate (I'm moving out in 4 days!) has lied to me so much and left so many things out I've lost count, and I've only known the guy a couple months.
What a shmuck.

Why so many lies, NTs?

Seriously, there are NTs on this forum.
I know that at least some of my fellow aspies&autists must feel as strongly as I do about this, perhaps even more so.
We want an answer from you guys.
Why so many lies?

WHY!?!?!?!?

Whether I WAS naïve is open to debate, but I know people THOUGHT I was. I remember back in my teens and 20s, people would speak nicely around me, keep me out of the loop of any nefarious deeds they may have committed, not tell me dirty jokes, etc. And everybody seemed to feel the need to protect me. I never understood what this was all about, because in my head I was the complete opposite of the way people were perceiving me. I don't know what I was showing on the outside though.

My whole life up until this day -- I'm 53 -- I've tried to believe what people tell me, even though I've been burned by that more times than I can count. The reason is because of my own honesty and trustworthiness. I don't lie, deceive, cheat, steal, etc., so I try to give others the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't either. Of course, in reality I know that people as a group are lying, conniving, two-faced b****ards. But inside my head I still go "Why shouldn't I be able to trust people? They can trust me. Why do people insist on being dishonest when honesty comes so easily?" I truly can't wrap my head around the idea that everyone should be regarded with suspicion.

And answering a previous poster...YES, I have been accused of being selfish. Reason: Because I chose to not have children. When people hear that I don't have kids and never wanted any, they immediately think of me as selfish and self-centered, and have said as much. I personally consider it MORE selfish to have children when I hear reasoning like "I have them so I'll have someone to care for me in my old age."

Whether I WAS naïve is open to debate, but I know people THOUGHT I was. I remember back in my teens and 20s, people would speak nicely around me, keep me out of the loop of any nefarious deeds they may have committed, not tell me dirty jokes, etc. And everybody seemed to feel the need to protect me. I never understood what this was all about, because in my head I was the complete opposite of the way people were perceiving me. I don't know what I was showing on the outside though.

My whole life up until this day -- I'm 53 -- I've tried to believe what people tell me, even though I've been burned by that more times than I can count. The reason is because of my own honesty and trustworthiness. I don't lie, deceive, cheat, steal, etc., so I try to give others the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't either. Of course, in reality I know that people as a group are lying, conniving, two-faced b****ards. But inside my head I still go "Why shouldn't I be able to trust people? They can trust me. Why do people insist on being dishonest when honesty comes so easily?" I truly can't wrap my head around the idea that everyone should be regarded with suspicion.

And answering a previous poster...YES, I have been accused of being selfish. Reason: Because I chose to not have children. When people hear that I don't have kids and never wanted any, they immediately think of me as selfish and self-centered, and have said as much. I personally consider it MORE selfish to have children when I hear reasoning like "I have them so I'll have someone to care for me in my old age."