Page 2 of 3 [ 37 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Jonsi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,219

01 Jul 2011, 11:14 pm

I usually just explain that I'm socially dumb and apologize if I do anything to insult someone.

Usually they understand and we have a merry time. :D



Jediscraps
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 522

01 Jul 2011, 11:30 pm

Do you really want to hear my intermittent, and sometimes silly, statements and questions?



Acacia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,986

02 Jul 2011, 12:51 am

Verdandi wrote:
"Just be yourself."

It's been awhile.... not sure I remember quite how to do it. :?

Just yesterday I was told: "you're acting like a total freak and really creeping me out... quit being yourself for awhile, would you?"

It's the constant strain of bending myself into the contours of polite society that sometimes makes me want to renounce it entirely.


_________________
Plantae/Magnoliophyta/Magnoliopsida/Fabales/Fabaceae/Mimosoideae/Acacia


Dae
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 265
Location: California...God Help Me

03 Jul 2011, 1:45 pm

Verdandi, I'm absolutely with you on this one. A prime example of buzz-words/cliches being given lip service without the actual 'leg-work' it takes to back it up.


_________________
It's your Dae today


Simonono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,299

03 Jul 2011, 2:12 pm

'Just be yourself' is bullshizz.



jrjones9933
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage

03 Jul 2011, 2:53 pm

Just be yourself, by yourself.


_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

03 Jul 2011, 3:58 pm

I know the answer to this. I think ''just be yourself'' can sometimes mean ''don't act too confident than what you already are.'' It's worked for me.
Once when I went on an employment training course, I knew nobody else in the room. I wanted to fit in and make friends with them, and I suddenly found a way. I knew that just walking in and starting up conversations with people just to look cocky and confident wouldn't work, because I know I will just say the wrong thing and would just start annoying people already. It's no good being something I'm not, because it just does not work. So I just acted shy. I didn't act too shy, where I don't say anything or look at anyone. I still acted friendly, and I smiled a lot, and I made eye-contact to make myself look like I want to be acknowledged, and each time somebody asked me something, I gave a polite response back, and when somebody asked me a friendly question like, ''so where do you live?'', I answered, then asked where they lived. It was quite tricky, but I had to force myself a bit. And I must say, it worked. People in the class liked me, and one of them even asked for my phone number so we could keep in touch. And as the course went on, I grew more and more confident being in their company, and I did say a few more things, only still being a bit shy. But they got used to me being a shy person, and thought nothing of it. They just liked me for who I am. But I knew that if I walked in there trying to look hunky and confident, I will probably come out with stupid things, and I've discovered that NTs do actually notice your ''weirdness'' (weirdness to them) when you try to act more confident than what you are, than if you just be shy but friendly. I know it doesn't sound like it's going to work, but trust me, it does. Starting off being shy is a better way of building your confidence with new people, rather than putting on false confidence then not realising if you make an ass of yourself.

May not work for everyone on the spectrum, but it did for me. Again, it may work depending on the type of environment you're in at the time. A crowded bar won't be very handy, but then again a crowded bar isn't really the right place for Aspies (or anyone shy, for that matter) to want to make friends, but somewhere like a club or a course or something can be more ideal.


_________________
Female


undefineable
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 402
Location: UK

03 Jul 2011, 9:22 pm

Who is myself?



aspiewhostandsalone
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 98
Location: out of this world

03 Jul 2011, 9:46 pm

Acacia wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
"Just be yourself."

It's been awhile.... not sure I remember quite how to do it. :?

Just yesterday I was told: "you're acting like a total freak and really creeping me out... quit being yourself for awhile, would you?"

It's the constant strain of bending myself into the contours of polite society that sometimes makes me want to renounce it entirely.
acacia i totally agree 100%



aspiewhostandsalone
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 98
Location: out of this world

03 Jul 2011, 9:49 pm

Acacia wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
"Just be yourself."

It's been awhile.... not sure I remember quite how to do it. :?

Just yesterday I was told: "you're acting like a total freak and really creeping me out... quit being yourself for awhile, would you?"

It's the constant strain of bending myself into the contours of polite society that sometimes makes me want to renounce it entirely.
acacia i totally agree 100%



The_Walrus
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,878
Location: London

04 Jul 2011, 3:22 am

Acacia wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
"Just be yourself."

It's been awhile.... not sure I remember quite how to do it. :?

Just yesterday I was told: "you're acting like a total freak and really creeping me out... quit being yourself for awhile, would you?"

It's the constant strain of bending myself into the contours of polite society that sometimes makes me want to renounce it entirely.

I genuinely don't know who "myself" is. It isn't anything to do with "polite" society though, just "majority" society. It makes no attempt at being polite.



ScientistOfSound
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,014
Location: In an evil testing facility

04 Jul 2011, 3:51 am

To be honest, I am me and people have to deal with it
I have to deal with the s**t of the NT world, so they should cope with a little aspie for a while. Yes some people don't understand and act like crap, but whats the point in befriending judgemental idiots anyway?
I lost my ability to care, and started being myself a couple of months ago, now I feel better than I ever have!



Arian
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 263
Location: Berkshire, England

04 Jul 2011, 3:53 am

Love this - and it's exactly what I was thinking last night, so thanks for verbalising it for me! :D

I was starting to wonder if I was speaking a completely alien language or something... oh, wait...


_________________
Your Aspie score: 146 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


ScientistOfSound
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,014
Location: In an evil testing facility

04 Jul 2011, 4:03 am

Arian wrote:
Love this - and it's exactly what I was thinking last night, so thanks for verbalising it for me! :D

I was starting to wonder if I was speaking a completely alien language or something... oh, wait...


Well if you do, +1 alien here. :D



Arian
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 263
Location: Berkshire, England

04 Jul 2011, 4:15 am

ScientistOfSound wrote:
Arian wrote:
Love this - and it's exactly what I was thinking last night, so thanks for verbalising it for me! :D

I was starting to wonder if I was speaking a completely alien language or something... oh, wait...


Well if you do, +1 alien here. :D


Flobadob, giggliwiggly toop oody?


_________________
Your Aspie score: 146 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


ScientistOfSound
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,014
Location: In an evil testing facility

04 Jul 2011, 4:19 am

Arian wrote:
ScientistOfSound wrote:
Arian wrote:
Love this - and it's exactly what I was thinking last night, so thanks for verbalising it for me! :D

I was starting to wonder if I was speaking a completely alien language or something... oh, wait...


Well if you do, +1 alien here. :D


Flobadob, giggliwiggly toop oody?


What did you say about my mother?! ;D (joking lol)

Lol

But yes sometimes thats what most people sound like to me, the world is such a confusing place, but I deal with it XD