Scared of having children?

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I'm terrified of having kids.

I don't want to be pregnant and deal with physical changes in my body.

I don't want to give up the things in my life. I enjoy my freedom and doing things I never had the chance to do in childhood.

I can't deal with crying and screaming. Also can't deal with vomit\poo\drool etc. (germ phobic, sensory smell issues)

If I had a disabled\autistic child, I don't know what would happen. Probably give it up for adoption and live with the guilt forever. If I had a child with AS, I would not know how to help them and stop them having the same miserable life that I have had.


I don't think I'm supposed to have kids, despite having the "equipment" and the rest of the world trying to force me into compliance with NT standards. It sounds selfish, but there are so many other people in the world that would love a child so much, I don't feel obliged. I just wish my mum could understand this and leave me aloe

Psh, I worry more about eventually finding someone than having children at this point. I hope I find someone accepting of AS, because there is that chance that I may pass it on to my kids if I have any (which I don't fear.) But this is probably related to my age. I don't want to "date" until I'm older; I don't see the purpose in doing so now.

I used to be worried about when I have kids. I have learning issues and anxiety and I have read those horror stories online about being raised by aspie parents and I am scared what if my kid thinks of me as a bad mother and as one of those aspie parents. Also I don't think I can handle a severely autistic child or someone with severe cerebral palsy so I was scared what if they turned out with having it.

I had other worries too like what if I accidentally drop my baby or what if I don't feed him enough, how will I know I should take him to a doctor, what if I don't know I should when he hasn't been sick very long? Does this make people on the list of they shouldn't have kids?

The only fear I have is that any child I might have will inherit Asperger's Syndrome and/or Scoliosis. I don't want them to go through the same problems I had growing up such as being treated different and being bullied often.

I like normalcy. I don't like abnormalcy.

I want to have a healthy, beautiful baby. I want my baby to typically reach all his or her milestones. I want the joy of my baby learning to walk. I want to see my baby learning new words, and starting to speak sentences, and I want them to grow as he or she gets to 2 and a half. I want to potty-train, and have my baby out of nappies around the same time as when I was (which was around 34 months to 3 years old). I want my baby to interact normally with other children at nursery. I want to meet him or her from nursery then walk to the park with other mums, and watch my baby happily playing on the swings with others. I want to put my child in mainstream school. I want my child to get on in mainstream school, and make friends with other children. I want my child to be invited to birthday parties, and be invited round other children's houses for tea after school, or bring a friend back home for tea. I want my child to play around on his or her bike with other kids in the neighbourhood in summer evenings. I want my child to enjoy hectic Christmasses with all family coming round and lots of lovely presents. I want to take my child to school fetes, and other social school gatherings. I want my child to take part in Christmas plays, and I go and watch. I want my child to start secondary school happily, and make more friends (hopefully not get shunned or bullied). I want my teenager to not be lonely as a teenager (since this is the most difficult age for any teenager). I want the normal little problems you get with teenagers, like them not wanting to do their homework, them being moody and surly, and having mates coming round and going out in a crowd, hanging out in the park or on the street corner. OK, sometimes things go off the rails as the teenagers get to around 16-18, because that's when they start choosing what they want to do with their lives, which can be a worry (because ''All NTs Succeed'' is completely wrong).

But I at least want to bring up an NT child. OK, maybe you can still do all or most of the above with an Aspie child, but no way with a low-functioning Autistic child. If I had a low-functioning Autistic child (or a child with any other low-functioning condition), I will be lonely, and missing out on what all the other parents are doing, et cetera. I think the word ''Autism'' sounds so depressing, because it totally excludes itself from the NT world.

The overwhelming odds are that your children will not have autism. The probability of an ASD is between 5% and 50% for the child of a parent with "classic autism" and lower (about 5%) for a parent with Asperger's - meaning that 95% of children will not have an ASD. I can not find a good source to link to, and it seems like such an important point that there should be a good source. Perhaps someone can find a better source than these two sources on the "recurrence risk":

University of Florida Dept of Pediatrics: http://www.peds.ufl.edu/divisions/genet ... _risk.html

ASD factsheet from the Centre for Genetics Education: www.genetics.edu.au/pdf/factsheets/fs43.pdf

I don't mean this imply that having children with an ASD is a bad thing. Information about the possible outcomes of childbirth seems to be a very useful thing, and I am surprised there isn't an "if you have Asperger's then" type page at the top of my searches.

I want to have kids someday and I hope that they don't have autism because I don't want them to deal with what I had to deal with. I would still love them of course if they did though.

At this stage in my life, I don't think I'll ever have kids, even if I somehow found the ideal mother for them (or rather, if the ideal mother was prepared to become my mate) and there was some guarantee that they'd be NT.

For one thing, I'm a VHE (voluntary human extinctionist) because I think we're in danger of utterly destroying global biodiveristy. However, I would accept one child per couple, which would be sustainable if we also reduced our consumption levels per capita.

The main thing, though, is the suffering any child born has to go through, the loss of possessions, the loss of pets and family, physical pain, emotional pain, and in the future probably nigh-on constant dehydration and starvation too. I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world who would have to cope with losing me, or working hard to make sure I have a good life in old age.

Essentially, I think having a child would be a selfish thing for me to do, because a) the planet probably can't take it and b) they'll suffer.

The only way I would have kids is if I won the lottery or somehow landed a really good paying job. Growing up my dad worked double shifts so we could have cool things like dirt bikes, four wheelers, and land to drive them on. But he nearly worked himself to death doing it. He has had two heart attacks and three strokes. Its not worth it in my opinion to raise a kid on the types of money I have earned in the past. The kid would have nothing to do at the end of the day. When I was at school all day being tormented I could at least go home at the end of the day have something to do. All of those things I did were expensive like playing Dungeons & Dragons, Swimming, riding around on a dirt bikes, or playing air hockey. I would never be able to buy things like that for my kids. I remember all the poor kids growing up were always getting into trouble because they had nothing to do.