Phone etiquette

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I have an answer machine that is on all time. That means I can deal with callers when it suits me.

the sound of the telephone ringing rouses a kind of defiance in me in a subtle sort of way.

it does not say "please" (answer the call).
it just rings and rings and rings, and i do not like it. it is like it is saying "ANSWER THE PHONE....ANSWER THE PHONE....ANSWER THE PHONE....ANSWER THE PHONE"
how dare it intrude on my time so ignorantly.

i am always very fixated on minute details, and i move slowly through my considerations, and i have so much peace in doing so, and then the phone rings and it is the outside world calling, and i really do not want to talk to it because i want to spend ALL the energy i have in doing my own thing sans consultation.

when i am scaling the scaffolding of a new idea, and i am excited and the phone rings, and i answer and i hear "hi", i think "bloody hell!! !" and i am initially hostile to them (in a concertedly repressed way).

when someone interrupts my fun with "hi", then i will say hello, but i want to get back to my stuff.

i will say more tomorrow because it is extremely late and i have an early appointment.

*I* pay for my phone - it exists for *MY* convenience. If I notice it ringing, I usually answer it, but I feel it is entirely up to me whether I do so or not.

It normally stays on "vibrate," and it is not unusual for it to sit, unattended in its charger, on my desk for hours at a time while I work in the yard or whatever. I do not know of any cel service which does not include voicemail, and I can't think of anyone who doesn't know how to leave a message. I try to check for messages often, but it isn't terribly unusual for me to discover a "new" message, text, or missed call two or three days after. While this does lead to occasional mild embarrassment - say, my boyfriend texts me at 2 to say that someone is coming with him after work for drinks, and I don't see the text before they arrive - I am not greatly distressed by these incidents.

My boyfriend, however, is hyper-social and very image conscious (he has to be, in his field) and is driven to near madness by this type of thing. He rarely calls me because, he says, I "never" answer my phone. When he does call, he almost never leaves a message, saying I "never" check my messages before returning calls - of which I am often guilty. When I look at my phone and see a missed call, my first reaction is to look at the call log to see who it was, and then I just call them back instead of even looking to see if there's a voicemail. I"m trying to work on this. It's frustrating for him to repeat something he just told me in a voicemail, especially when it's something very basic, like: "I'm tied up with a client, so I'll be about 30 minutes late getting home."

[quote="another_1" I do not know of any cel service which does not include voicemail, and I can't think of anyone who doesn't know how to leave a message. [/quote]

Meet .... me, .
I hate, i repeat, hate, leaving messages on answer phones ( or recording a message on an answering machine for that matter - this can develop into a 2 hour session )!
I call three times and hang up twice before picking up the courage to leave a message and still manage to produce some unintelligible garble.
Anybody else with the same pet hate?

Ah, but you do know how - you just find it almost impossible to do so! It's ok, though - I probably wouldn't listen to it before calling you back, anyway!

On my first celphone, my vm message went something like: "Hi, this is <me>. Sorry I missed your call. If you want to, you can leave a message after the beep, but I'll never hear it because I DO NOT check it. Ever. You'd do a lot better trying to call me another time, but it's up to you. Either way, have a nice day!"


edited to correct a bad quote tag. Bad tag! Bad! Go lay down!

I never answer the phone if I don’t recognize a number. Voicemail exists for a reason. As for general etiquette, I’ve gotten bitched at before for saying “yeah?” instead of “hello?” when answering phones. I also got an angry phone call once from a guy at a store that I had just called to ask if they had something in stock. He was angry that I didn’t say “thank you” before hanging up. I guess I see his point, but how worthless is your life when you call people back to b***h about that?

I try to avoid using the phone at all costs, i end up talking too fast, getting my words mixed up & generally making a fool of myself.

This.

...

Or my close friend who lives in Tigard.

I *know* how to leave a message.

But if I've managed to pick up the phone, which takes a huge amount of effort for me because I have to rehearse the conversation so I know what we are going to talk about etc and even when I've done that I know it won't go to script, and it goes to voicemail that is way out of the plan because my conversation was planned with another person not a machine ...and I lose the ability to leave a message.

I have to put down the phone, then psych myself up to call again to leave a message if I was calling about something important - which I was, because otherwise I wouldn't have been through the stress of making a phone call to begin with. Sometimes I won't be able to get to the point of actually calling back to leave a message.

Now, imagine the situation where I have psyched myself to call again and leave a message, but this time the person actually answers the call ... as this was not in the plan I often freak out a bit and often end up slamming down the phone in a panic.

So we have start the game again.

I hate the telephone. And I hate it when people say "oh, just call me sometime" as if it is such an easy thing to do.

Email, texting, instant messaging, chatrooms are all fine ways to communicate from a distance.

Same here! (however, I do NOT answer the phone when I am in bed and the phone is not on the nightstand...)

I admit, I hate leaving voicemail. This is because I would much rather talk to a person than an automated voice box. Either that or I'm just impatient. I have done it before but I don't like to do it because it's uncomfortable for me.

I will never answer the phone to an unknown number unless I'm expecting a call (for example when I set up a direct debit on my online banking, their automated system calls my phone and I have to put a code in). Otherwise I will return their call if they leave a voicemail. This stems partly from my debt problems though (mostly caused by my impulsiveness and poor money management). I also ignore the door most of the time as I work shifts so am usually in bed during the day. I have CCTV on the door so I can check its not someone important (my brother often pops round if he needs something, and the police are always investigating some crime in my street, so I always answer to them. I also receive lots of packages too big for my letterbox, so I open for my posties usually too.

This is me too. I answer my phone about 50% of the time when I recognize the number and 0% of the time when I don't recognize the number. A few people have told me that I have never answered the phone when they have called... which I don't doubt. If I don't know what the conversation is going to be about I would much prefer they leave a message so I can think about it before I say something I regret. I am getting better at this though, my mom ratted me out for never answering the phone when she calls so now I usually answer answer if she or my dad calls.

I just really don't like talking on the phone. The only person I can just chat with on the phone is my mom, but I think that is just because she does 90% of the talking. When I talk to my dad every minute of air time is filled with about 20 seconds of silence at least.

I feel obligated to answer the door if someone knocks though. There are some times that I won't do that either... just much more rare I guess. I really don't like when people drop by unexpectedly.

Yes, I totally do this! I don't know if it is rude or not, nor do I particularly care. I will pick up the phone if I think it is important, and I will answer the door ONLY if it is someone that I have to answer the door for (ie. my Dad is expecting the oil guy to come, and I have been asked to answer the door...or if it is one of my Dad's siblings, I will usually answer it since they tend to show up unannounced and most live quite a ways away). If it is anyone else, I never go to the door because I do not want to talk to people (and I am usually in pyjamas for comfort reasons, and don't feel like answering the door like that anyway). When it comes tot he phone, I always screen calls because phone conversations are very awkward for me. I don't know how to respond, what to say, or when it is time to hang up. I even screen calls from the very few acquaintances that I have--then later respond with a text because it is easier for me (I don't get many of these calls anyway). If someone calls and does not leave a message, I NEVER call back (UNLESS I am waiting for an important call and I know that particular number is from that person/place). I never call just to say, "did someone from that number call here?" but I know a lot of people do that.

I did not answer an important call once because I did not recognize the number and I almost got fired from work because it was my boss calling. He had changed his number so I did not know it was him. Now I answer every call. If I am not working I just switch it off most of the time because I hate being disturbed by people when I'm in an anti-social mood.

And the door, I look through the key-hole. I don't open if I am alone at home and I don't recognize the person. I do not open doors after 11 in the night unless I am expecting someone. I have been called paranoid because of this by friends.