Why do Aspies not know what to do with their arms?

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*cough* I'm 31 and still sleep with a teddybear, because I don't know what to do with my arms at night. I can't have them extended in front of me, that would be weird Or can you pretend to embrace yourself ? even weirder.
When I have a bit of stress, I start fiddling with my hands and fingers. And even when I'm at ease, I like to put pressure on my hands or fingers, probably because I like to feel them.
I also sit with my legs crossed, or even double-crossed all the time. It's also a pressure-thing, i think.

I have more problems with my way of walking. I have no automatic walking/running routine, i just have to figure out every aspect of the walking/running movement at the time that I'm doing it, like when to lift next leg, when to put it down, how to lift toes. It sucks, really

I like this explanation, I think it fits for me. So I guess we overthink body language as well - no subconscious gestures, just deliberate ones? That would explain why in photographs I am told I generally have a forced smile that my NT mother complains is a grimace.

Nice to know! I'm 16 & I do the same thing.

What do NTs do with their arms?

The two things I know I do with my arms are swinging them while walking and putting my hands in my pockets. When talking to someone, I make gestures, like air pictures of what is in my mind, as visual aids to verbal communication. But other than that, I'm not sure what I do with my arms.

I always feel awkward about my arms. I don't know what to do with them if I'm not doing something.

It was kind of funny, when I was first telling people that I thought I was autistic, one guy (who I thought was really negative about autistic people - turns out he was not) asked me "Do you ever not know what to do with your hands?" and I had not heard that particular aspect before, but it totally fits.

I never know what to do with my hands. I remember noticing in like 4th or 5th grade that I didn't swing my arms when I walked or ran. I had to teach myself to do this consciously. Many other actions and postures did not come naturally to me. Nowadays I just hold my own hands or arms sometimes so that they don't just hang there, sometimes in front of me or behind me.

I went to Catholic school unitl the eighth grade and I think that may have been a big reason my struggles weren't so obvious. It was STRUCTURE. In capital letters. The same uniform everyday took the hassle out of getting dressed. Strict routine that rarely, if ever, changed. We even got warnings when the fire drills would occur. Desks in nice neat rows. Everyone expected to sit at the their desk and fold their hands together if they had nothing else to do with them because 'idle hands are the devil's playthings'. I default to folding my hands together because of this. I feel awkward doing it and occassionally someone will comment on it. I can truthfully respond, 'Catholic school habits die hard'. I usually get looks of pity for that. It's better than fidgeting uncomfortably.

But I also attribute my neat handwriting to Catholic school too. They'd make you practice until your hand felt like falling off.

I had to teach myself to swing my arms too.

I also sleep with a teddy or 2 otherwise I don't know where to put my arms in bed

When I was little, I wanted to sleep with my stuffed puppy, but I couldn't ever fall asleep when I was holding something in my arms! I feel like I missed out a little.

Huh, really? For me that's only a paragraph or two.

My fine motor skills are okay. I'm clumsy as hell in general but I've been drawing since I was 9 months old. Drawing <i>obsessively</i> since I was 9 months old. I'm sure that has alot to do with it.

Drawing and handwriting seem to me to be two different skills - while I'm not great at the drawing, it is better than my handwriting.

Also, I've never been able to alleviate the pain from handwriting.

I’m just too fidgety. I simply can’t stop moving.

This is an ASD trait? I do the same exact things! but I usually have my arms crossed when I talk to people, and might move them. I usually keep a cell phone in my hand, or keep my hand on my bookbag straps, or in my jacket pockets, or if I don't have either, I have to scratch my hair, rub my chin hair, something.

My daughter has the same issue with her handwriting. Her OT attributes it to her dyspraxia.

The drawing and writing, for me, are very much the same skill. At least, it feels as if they are. I learned letters the same way I learned to draw. When I write, stream of thought, in the moment, my handwriting gets progressively worse. Whenever I needed to write assignments in school I would write it once on scrap paper and then copy out neatly. When doing lettering, like calligraphy or sign making, it's beautiful. So, I guess I should have clarified - when I'm copying I have very nice handwriting.

Interestingly enough, my daughter has a learning disability in writing. She has alot of trouble in stream of thought writing - her handwriting suffers to the point of illegibility. But copying, she can be fairly neat. She simply has a disconnect in doing both things at the same time. And I'm wondering why I didn't put that together before right now...

Yes, dysgraphia is a learning disability, and one that I have.

I can draw letters too, but it's not writing, in my opinion.