NT girls and their not so engrossing talk!

Post Reply New Topic

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LizetmrcFLI[/youtube]

Not especially, it's just this "girls are blablabla" and "NTs are blablabla" and "NT girls are blablabloodybla". It's just ridiculous. I attempted to satirise the sentiment with "Innit, girls smell" to point out how juvenile it it, but clearly it went over some people's heads. As did the Andrea Dworkin. I do appologise for the Richard Cheese though, that was just stupid.

Interesting. I never knew what Andrea Dworkin looked like.

I once sat in a toilet cubicle at college because I had an OCD thing where I couldn't leave a cubicle while someone was outside it. I overheard this conversation:

Girl 1: Oh my God I had like the worst nightmare last night
Girl 2: What was it? What was it?
Girl 1: Well there I was like, on my way out and I looked down and like realised that I hadn't shaved my legs and they were like really hairy!
Girl 2: Woah that's like awful
Girl 1: I know!

I just cringed and thought if leg hair is all these girls had to worry about in life then they are lucky beggars...

If you are talking about my post, remember, I said most. I've made my observations based upon 43 years of experience in the NT world. If you are not talking about my post, please accept my apologies.

For me, its not so much what NT girls talk about thats annoying, its how they talk about it. From an observers perspective, I find it interesting to watch the way NT girls act. But actually interacting with most of them, ehh it doesnt appeal to me. A lot of them are rather annoying.

Yes, many girls are very shallow. I have some interest in clothes & men but not all the time to the exclusion of everything else like they do. I live in a small town so many talk nonstop about babies around here. Pass.

I have been chastised by female friends in the past for actually bringing up things that interested them that their bfs (who were present) didn't know about. It often makes me angry that they put on a show for the guys.

Oh yeah, I overheard a ridiculous conversation from some NT girls. One of them had a fiance, she was saying that sometimes she preferred to talk to him on the phone rather then skype so she doesnt have to doll herself up. And Im thinking, wait ur gonna marry him, umm he's gonna see you ugly once you get married. If you dont feel like dressing yourself up...dont. If you do...then do it. Know what I mean?

As an NT Girl who often finds it hard to talk to groups of women who are like the one's that many of you describe, I do understand where you are coming from.

Now I can't say I never talk about clothes, fashion or makeup. I absolutely do at times, but often this is when I'm asked advice. I'm very good at doing makeup for other people, and years ago when I was in high school people would ask for me to help them with their hair and makeup for special occasions. This helped me fit in and I didn't mind doing it.

But I cannot stand gossip and the negativity that you describe. I have been known to give odd answers at times when I am bored or exasperated by the conversation. I was once talking to a group of women who were going on and on about material possessions they wanted. One of them looked at me and said "Well what would you like?" Without really thinking I replied "peace."

I do want to lead a peaceful life, but I guess this was a little different.

About a week ago at work someone was talking about a new person who would be starting. They were not really saying anything bad, just giving information about them. I'm not sure I'd want people giving information about me before I started a new job and I was not there to talk about that, I had a work related question and again without really thinking I just looked at her and said, "I don't really care about this."

She knows me pretty well and how I can be, so it wasn't that big a deal.

However there is another woman at work who is getting married soon and having trouble finding a veil and jewlery, so I sent her an email with some links to some cool sites where she could find what she was looking for.

So I guess at times I can talk about some of the things that you are describing, but I'm not sure that it is in the same way. NTs are just as different from each other as people with AS are. It may take a while to find NT girls that you find fun and interesting to be around, but we are not all the same

Isn't it amaizing how they have so much time gossipping about people but at the same time they don't have five minutes of their time to give an opportunity for the outcast to prove themselves. Nor do they have any time to second guess any of their judgemental assumptions they are making; yet they have plenty of time to spread them to other girls.

ntgirl - Loving your avatar, incidentally .

OP - I actually do agree with you, albeit with the usual adendum of everyone's different, maybe this is age related, or you haven't met NT girls who have other interests yet .

But, in my experience (and I've never bothered to try and filter them into groups), the adoration of 'Sex and the City', looong conversations about shoes and b*tching behind each other's backs is extremely common. I simply don't understand it. I do have an NT friend who is different, incidentally. She's interesting, can pick up my conversations regardless of what I'm talking about, and whilst she is interested in fashion (as am I), it's more from the construction level, since she's the one who taught me to sew. Admittedly, she does b*tch about other women too, and there are looong conversations about what little johnny and sophie did at school yesterday, but she can also be directed off onto another subject if it becomes a bit interminable!

However, I offer you this story:

I was in a pub with a load of re-enactors, getting drunk (a common night out for everyone, obviously). One of them, L, was reknowned amongst the girlfriends and wives of this group for getting a little inappropriately 'touchy' with the girls (we'd all had a girlie conversation one new years eve [some of them are useful!] and it turns out he'd trapped my friend above in the kitchen of their home when he lived with them and got a bit feely and highly innappropriate, as well as the GF of the person he was now living with, and the GF of someone else during a party, as well as casually touching me up whenever he could too. We all compared notes and decided that whilst we liked him in theory, we ought to stay about a metre away from now on ). I was in a circle of guys, singing a song drunkenly, when L handed me his pint, so I had both hands holding glasses. He then proceeded to put his hands on my bum and keep them there for a very long time. I ducked out as soon as I could, and did a runner to the loo. At which point, his GF charged into the loo with a friend who blocked the door, told me she was going to take me into the parking lot and beat the h*ll out of me if I ever laid my hands on her BF again . Now, was this girl utterly delusional? L was renowned for this behaviour. His GF had also verbally attacked my friend and the other girl too, incidentally, but never threated to beat them up.
As a secondary bit of info, it was quite common for the 'wives' to be suspicious of me, since I wasn't attached to any man, and hung out with their fellas to roleplay. I'd known the fellas long before any of these girls turned up, and in all seriousness, I've had at least 3 attempts to run me out of town. For doing nothing except being friends with 'their' men. My attitude was always that I'd made friends with the guys and if these girls wanted to be that insecure, let them. They had certainly never made any effort to make friends with me, regardless of how welcoming I was (to break into my group of friends is difficult. They're cliquey, and if they view you as an invader, you'll simply stop being invited to things).
So, as a longterm friend of L, who I liked, regardless of his innappropriateness, I was somehow the instigator of the problem . Utterly senseless. She went on to marry him, incidentally. And proceeded to stop him roleplaying (a lot of the 'wives' have tried at some point or other to stop the fellas roleplaying. They think it's immature and the men should spend all their time at home. Really), broke him away from his friends and isolated him completely from his former life. I was invited by his brother to L's 40th birthday party and then told I couldn't come because she wasn't happy about it. Or how about her inviting everyone to their wedding... except me. And then getting annoyed when my friends created a little space for me on their table because I was the only one left out.

Basically, in my experience, 99% of NT girls (if you want to group them) are obsessed with things which are either shallow or senseless. That doesn't mean they all are - maybe I've been unfortunate in the ones I've met. My friend is in the 1%, which is why I cherish her. I just remember one new years eve, trying to make conversation by talking about a book I was reading, and being cut off to talk about IKEA.

In all seriousness, how long can a conversation about IKEA last?! A long, looooooooooong time, apparently.

I also have a very hard time talking to them. I tried to be friends to an NT girl a couple of summers ago and that failed very miserably. She was into fashion, fame and beauty. She was as boy crazy as heck. She even bought herself a bridal gown with her first paycheque and she didn't even have a boyfriend. She kept saying that she wanted a killer body that the guys will look at. She was also into Much Music and Top 40. She was also into hunks and she presumed that I liked the same guys that she did. I was so sick of it by the end of the summer, that I was ready to start liking the 60s again.

Yeah, all my friends are NT and I do have a lot of arguements with them because of their discussions, boys, the grief of them, going out clubing etc. I zone out a lot too but my friends understand that none of their topics of conversation tend to interest me so they let me talk about what I'm interested in e.g. books, movies, facts for a while too and they appoligise that I'm not interested in their conversations. They are interested in what I have to say and they ask questions about it too so it's encouraging. My friends don't tend to gossip that much, at least in front of me because they know that I hate it. There are some stories of "OMG, did you hear what x did" and I just say kind of mockingly/playfully at the same time "No, I didn't and I don't really care " that stops the gossip.

My current group of friends are very good and understanding to me but my old ones weren't exactly. They made rude remarks about just about everyone, including members of our own group which made me feel terrible so I left. They have a very depressing outlook of the world and are cruel directly to other people's faces. I was friends with them for years during childhood before these sort of things started arrising so we were all pretty close, not emotionally though. They didn't really care about me or others. For example one friend (while talking about life after school) "you know that I'll probably never talk to ye again?" being completely serious.

I don't really talk to many people outside my immediate friends but my conversations tend to be friendly. I have a running conversation in my head making moves to steer the conversation in more interesting things that normal people are interested in e.g. sport, music etc.

[Oh yeah, I overheard a ridiculous conversation from some NT girls. One of them had a fiance, she was saying that sometimes she preferred to talk to him on the phone rather then skype so she doesnt have to doll herself up. And Im thinking, wait ur gonna marry him, umm he's gonna see you ugly once you get married. If you dont feel like dressing yourself up...dont. If you do...then do it. Know what I mean?[/quote]

Yeah, that is pretty high on the rediculous scale. Marriage, or my understanding of it is to love each other for who they are which includes how they naturally look.

Girls like that annoy me to death, and I avoid the type described in this thread. Luckily, not all girls are like that. I have lots of girlfriends who aren't shallow or materialistic...while some may be into makeup or fashion somewhat, it is not their main focus in life. They are intelligent, comfortable with themselves and talk about interesting topics. There are people out there for you, you just have to find them.

As some others have said obviously I'm not saying that everyone is the same.

However I don't seem to find that I have much in common with a lot of other girls/women my age probably partly because of my situation; a lot of them are into the whole marriage/ babies thing and I can't really relate to that. Well especially the babies bit. Sometimes I might discuss clothes or occasionally make up but I guess it's usually in a finding out information sense as opposed to just talking about it for pure enjoyment. But also when I was school age I could never really join in with the "girly" chat and didn't really want to.