Competitiveness

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East Coast USA and Great Lakes. Grew up in Southern California. I saw lots of crowded conditions. But I never got really competitive. I usually sat on the outside and snagged the clean up sets. My wave counts were always low but I always got some bombs. Looking back, I can see how Asperger's affected my behavior in the water. I never talked to anyone. I didn't scrap and scratch for lots of waves. I just did my thing, almost oblivious of the others in the water.

I have no time for competitiveness... I am far happier if I do not feel in the least competitive... I think it is a far more advanced thing to do to simply do your own thing without care for competition. Sure, my mind might feel a little competitive sometimes but I try not to be at all competitive.

If we're talking sport, or a game of cards or something, then competition would make sense because that's what sports and games are.
If we're talking life, and people's emotions in general, heck I'm not going any where near the competitive stuff mentally, even in things that others might get competitive in. In my music, I would try my best to not be competitive - to simply do own thing, to make others happy with it.

I'm not at all competitive when it comes to things like sports, as I just see that as fun.

I was always taught not to compare myself with others, so I almost always compete with myself.

I can however become ferociously competitive when it comes to special interests. If I've dedicated myself to studying something like, say evolution, then I see even leaders in the field as setting a bar that ought to be surpassed (but again it's mostly competition with myself to get there).

Actually yes I think I agree with you, oceandrop. Sports and games are for fun, for taking part in, but I can see why people want to be competitive in them and to my mind that is fine - sports and games are not general living, so it's not messing around with people's emotions or identity or anything like that.

It seems the point of my starting this thread was missed. Must be I wasn't clear. I disdain competition in many areas. But it is present in large doses. If you aren't at least tacitly competitive then your opportunities can be reduced. Similar to the necessity for small talk, the NT dominated world is driven by competition. Even getting into college is a competition. Getting a job means competing with other applicants. Getting a grant to fund worthy a project means competing with other people seeking grants.

The point is that even if on some philosophical level I can argue that competition is a negative thing, it is a pervasive reality in daily living. Even if I abhor competing, I cannot change the nature of the 99% of the world that is not autistic (assuming this anti-competitiveness is an autistic predilection) I must accept that competition is something that will affect outcomes.

The real issue for me is that there is a form of competition where competing (and winning) is all that matters. kfisherx said her way of dealing with this is to just do stellar work, letting her work speak for itself. But I have seen times when this is insufficient - or worse - times when someone else will take credit for work that isn't theirs. It is this competition for the sake of competition that really irritates me.

This is relevant to anyone that wants to have any meaningful career. Assuming that, for one with autism, competition is similar to small talk, in what ways can we adapt and compensate?