"I have no emotions" ...

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In order that the important thing is not to get carried away by emotions.

I think we have a handicap for.

I do that too, and it serves me as it is guaranteed that people keep a distance when its off and Im in public. Im a girl, so people are not really afraid, but I receive some kind of respect that way. People get insecure when its off, and all I have to do is to acknowledge them for a moment to ease them, if necessary. Thats what I always have meant by being able to not care and go ego. I also would relate it to an antisocial personality trait, but by learning about that disorder I can state that the emotions they lack I certainly have.

My emotions are on a "delay."

I may not be aware of them when I'm having them, but they generally surface later. I also tend not to "express" my emotions externally (facial expressions, vocalizing, ect.).

To some, this makes me look cold and unfeeling, but it's not true.

I've seen the same thing.

But, I tell you, sometimes it does feel that way.

Although, I know that I still have them.

I can go for a few months at a time, sometimes, not feeling anything deeply. Everything just feels mechanical. It's hard to relate to people when I go on *computer* mode, but I can still relate to the to the people I know well. I may talk less and withdraw a little more, it's just because I don't have much to say. I still enjoy their company. I'm still upbeat, and friendly enough. I forget a lot of things and ask stupid questions because I have no idea what people are talking about but, I don't get depressed or anything.

The upside is that I'm almost never sad.

It's easy to misunderstand people and get into altercations that you don't even realize you're having when your emotions disappear. I misread people, or seem oblivious, and then they get mad or just stop talking to me.

But, other time, I have *almost* as much emotion as most people do. I guess it's maybe...60% of the time I have almost none and 40% of the time I have enough to seem sociable and like I *get* what other people are saying to me.

I have emotions, just difficulty expressing them or recognising them in others. I know the basics, happy and sad, but I can't understand the others. My dad frequently becomes depressed because he hates living where we live. I feel out of place when he talks about it, because I don't understand why he doesn't make plans to move somewhere he will like.

Wow. This is how it is with me and a few people thought I was "Bipolar". For many years I never could pin down what this fluctuating phenomenon was.
ToM isn't processed on these down turns --and these vacillations hampered any dating prospects. On this side of the coin ADHD is a curse as this is a dehumanizing condition that wrests control over your control, all the while being acutely conscious of this.

When all these things cluster/ conglomerate at any given point, you're talking a major "cluster ________".

I don't really classify them as emotions... I generally have 2-3 states of feeling/being, I am either Positive, Negative Or Negative and Stressed.
The issue is that I rarely show any emotive expressions externally. I never naturally look happy, sad, etc. The only body language I show is "fake", I fabricate it to show how I want to be seen as feeling.

I can't gauge my emotions categorically. I simply have my positive and negative split down the middle and I can go from one side to the other in an instant, sometime for no obvious reason.

I actually was diagnosed as bipolar once, and then I guess they changed their minds.

I didn't agree with it anyway, but I wasn't going to argue.

I don't get the lows, really. I honestly think that I only feel *true* sadness, maybe, a few times each year. And it goes away quickly.

And the rest of the time, I can seem a little manic, but I never do anything outrageous. And it's not like I can't control it, I'm just spazzy because I want to be.

But yea, definitely true about the TOM when you aren't feeling anything. I never really thought about it before, but, it's just very hard to gauge what anyone else could be feeling when YOU feel nothing. I still try to be as friendly as possible but sometimes seem antagonistic or just *out there*.

I disagree because sometimes I dont feel anything, but I still know that I have to play "Im sorry" (as an example), and I play because "I know it is the right thing to do/I know how I affect the people watching if it gets obvious that I dont feel anything". So I still have ToM, but no emotion = if I dont feel anything I still have no problems knowing what other people think/feel.

I have to add that I sometimes have crossed the line while I still knew what I was doing (e.g. the opposite of saying Im sorry if I wasnt sorry), but where I had to learn that it can have excessive consequences. Therefore there are moments where I am forced to act (and e.g. to say Im sorry when Im not), and its annoying but I deal with it. It makes me feel defeated being forced around like that and so I whish I would have more courage to be exactly the way I want to be (act corresponding to my own feelings), but since I dont want to be hated Im trapped. Please dont misunderstand: I can be sorry! This was just an example of situations that can occur.

Last edited by Maje on 02 Aug 2011, 5:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I have emotions, however am often not aware of them. And when I am, I have a very hard time putting a name to it, things seem to be generally good or bad. And am quite terrible at expressing them. The only emotions I really feel and identify are frustration and anger.

Well, this is the executive dysfunction of ADHD, and it's hit or miss in this cognition. At its worst you just can't predict or "gauge" ToM well, and it might hit you later what you said was out of line, thus a "real time " processing lag.

You lose the awareness of 'the other mind', of how they would feel; you "lose" their emotional model.

That's the nuts and bolts of this phenomenon, as I experience this.

Yes, that is kinda what I'm like.

I have emotions but I have trouble externalising them. And if someone wants me to explain how I'm feeling, I say I don't know, and it is truly because I don't know, not because I don't want to tell them.

I disagree again because I understand very well what is the right thing to do. I have a good ToM. It can just sometimes be superfluous BS which slows us down. It can be extra problems (of other people) which become my problems because Im forced to behave accordingly not to make trouble for somebody. People can get crushed if Im myself (even if I dont do anything out of hate) and so I have to view them as very needing and therefore dependent and therefore no leaders and therefore followers. Call it what you want, even if you describe it with "lack of something" or "an impairment" I think it is the opposite. But whatever you call it, I know I have an above average ToM.

Nobody said your TOM was impaired.

Did they?

I didn't look through all of the replies that carefully but I don't think they did lol.

We said that OURS is.

I knew mine was, even before I knew anything about TOM.

It isn't the same for everyone.

What about this phrase?:


Maybe you should use "Me" instead of "You", so that you speak for yourself?