Saying or doing "wrong" things

Post Reply New Topic

Everybody does those things, smart or dumb, NT or not. I grew up in a tough place in a family that fought everyday. I went from being an overly sensitive girl who'd burst into tears about everything, to someone who never cry in about 3 years. Eventually my skin got thick enough that I didn't feel embarrassed at all when people are pointing out my mistakes. Sometimes I wonder if I did not have an explosive mother, critical friends, cranky teachers, I might still be a wimpy person.

I'm sure you'll outgrow the feeling with more "practice". Although guilt is very good at preventing further mistakes, you can totally learn to do the right things without guilt.

I know NTs can do the wrong things at times. My cousin is NT, and he's very clumsy. He even broke our door-handle once just by shutting it. But then people still really like him and he is socially accepted and never looked upon, because he is the type who is really popular and outgoing, so sometimes being like that can kind of erase any quirks you have. But with me, I have so many strange quirks or habits, and because I'm quiet aswell and will never be popular, people only seem to remember me by my faults.

NTs are lucky in a way, because most can be nice enough to be friends with, but still be assertive enough to avoid being walked all over. Obviously not all NTs are like this, but a lot are, especially throughout school life, where they all stick together and can recognise how another person is just like that. For me it is a lot harder, because I am ''too nice'' to people, and I completely let people walk all over me because I'm scared to be assertive and stand up for myself, because I'm scared I'll do or say the wrong thing, or it might be at the wrong time in the wrong place, and I'm just scared it's going to make me feel awkward.

It's so difficult!! !! !! !! !! !! !

@Joe90: IMO, you have nothing to "cringe" about regarding that incident. Those girls acted very immaturely. Why couldn't they just be up-front with you rather than running to the principal? Sheesh. Sorry if I sound harsh, but at the age of 14 THEY should have known better than that. You weren't threatening them.

@wefunction: it took me until 9th grade to know enough to ask questions about an assignment that was unclear (geometry class, to be precise, with some prodding from my mom).

@Maje, @y-pod: YES. It does just take practice, trial and error, etc. To this day, I still make social errors (usually talking too much and/or too fast, which puts people off) but I don't worry too much about it afterwards. I still think other people should come right out and say "Excuse me, but the way you are talking is a bit much." No. Rather, people will act like everything is okay and then not talk to me for weeks (similar to what Joe90 described).

"Wrong" and "right" are relative terms. And yes (to whichever poster said this): why is it that when NT's make similar errors it's "okay"? I hate double standards.

It seems that most NT women I know fuss over wearing the right clothes for the right environment, but still look presentable. At my vollunteer job at the charity shop, the other women there are like, ''I don't want to wear my nice things to come here in, in case I get them dirty or torn or something'', but then they still come in wearing clothes that I would classify ''really nice clothes''.
But it seems that I pick out the first top I see out of the wardrobe.

I really, really, really, really wish that clothes weren't such a big deal with NT women. My mum would rather walk out in shoes that hurt just to ''look good'', than to wear comfortable shoes and ''not look so good''. I go for comfort, but I suppose it's ''wrong'' in the conformism world.

Just saying whatever is on my mind at the wrong moments. I have a general understanding or what is appropriate and not appropriate. Sometimes I forget my manners, though.
I go for comfort in my clothing, too, while at the same time, trying to look not sloppy.
I also just have a problem with being really childish. I'm turning twenty in three years and I still act like I'm ten years old...

Sometimes I can't always be bothered to be mature. But then I get criticised about it, which is my pet peeve, so I just have to act mature.