Callista wrote:
Remember that a minority of people with AS are actually not socially anxious. Some simply prefer to avoid social interaction; and some (especially the younger ones) are simply unaware that others find them odd. Others (especially females) are "adopted" by people who feel pity for them, and end up with one or two close friends who act as a buffer between them and the outside world. And some have found comfort in professional circles in which they are thought "eccentric but intelligent" and valued for their skills--I have seen a professor of mine in exactly this situation.
I am one of those who does not feel social anxiety any more than the average neurotypical... probably less than many. My own reasoning is that what others think of me doesn't matter, because I prefer my own company. In early childhood, I was unaware that others thought me unacceptably strange; though I knew I was different, I put this down to the high intelligence my mother was always telling me I had. During my teen years, I began to realize just how strange others thought I was, and had a period of social anxiety during which I attempted to act "normal" in order to make friends, but could not accomplish that goal. Remembering that period, I can empathize with those who experience marked social anxiety: It is not a pleasant phenomenon, and I do not envy them.
During the last three years, as an adult, I have had anywhere from one to three close friends who accept me as I am; this combines with my fundamentally introverted nature to make me worry very little about what others think of me.
The one fear I still have is that I may clumsily hurt someone, emotionally, by saying what others would consider offensive or hurtful: I might not have the time, during the fast pace of a conversation, to evaluate such a statement fully and to appreciate its impact.
This pretty much describes where I'm at now. Though I guess I do still like to make a good impression on people, if possible. But I don't freak out about it.